Hey - I'm new to the boards, and seek help! Thanks to anyone in advance.Well, there this girl, whom, I'm not sure if I really like. I feel like I like her, maybe even 'love' her? It's just that I'm not sure. I haven't really talked to her much - she is in 1 of my classes.One day, I found her MySpace, so after a hard debate between myself and my self-esteem, I decided to add her. This was a big step, especially for me. After a while on talking on MySpace - she got suspeneded for a week(Don't ask) - I got her msn. Now, we just talk on that. Right now, I'm not sure about my feelings; I feel weird sensations.Oh - me and this girl met a few days ago, probaly a few weeks; we don't know each other too well.I thought she liked me, it's why I added her in the first place, but now I'm not sure. A friend asked her if she likes me and she lied saying she had a boyfriend - not too sure about that.I just don't know what to do. I can't decide if I really 'love' this girl or if I'm just lusting. Please help. Sorry if most of it doesn't make sense, I'm just very frustrated right now.
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So there's this girl; love or lust?
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First of all, welcome. As to your query, I would say you're lusting, since I dont believe it's possible to love somebody you dont know better than this. There's nothing wrong with a bit of lusting though!How do you know she lied about having a boyfriend? And is this what has happened to make you unsure as to whether she likes you?
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In reply to:I don't believe it's possible to love somebody you dont know better than this. That's true - I'm just substituting 'love' in. I asked her if she has a boyfriend, she replied with a sharp 'No!' I'm stuck traversing between if she is lying here again,or not. In reply to: And is this what has happened to make you unsure as to whether she likes you? It really is! Right now, my trust in her is going down. We talked quite a fair bit on msn - but in real life, we talked 'bout once...twice... . It was in a group setting too..I'm not sure what to do now - to continue? Thank you, btw!
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Hmmm, I suppose you might ask yourself why was the 'no' so sharp? Has she got a boyfriend she didnt want you to know about while she was still sizing up the situation with you? Or did she just meet someone in the interm between having that conversation with you and the same one with your friend? Does she know that the person she was speaking to is a friend of yours?I'm sorry, but I'm finding this a little confusing, and I'm not surprised you are too! I think maybe you should put what your friend told you to her and see what she has to say. As you say, the trust is going down the tubes, so you may as well try to inject some honesty into the situation.Best of luck, and let me know how you get on.
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Okay - so I thought a bit 'bout it. Yea, I do like her, I want to see if I could develop this into a relationship - but not for mere sex.
Today, in class, she came over to talk to her friend, who sits behind me, in which I talk too. Me and her like....never talk in real life - it's weird - we talk on msn. I'm not sure, should I attempt to talk to her?
We received 10 minuets to socialize, seeing as we finished class early.
I'm so damn confused - what do I do? Try to show her the real me? Or the me on msn.
In reply to:
Has she got a boyfriend she didnt want you to know about while she was still sizing up the situation with you?
I hope not!! That would tear my heart to pieces!
In reply to:
did she just meet someone in the interm between having that conversation with you and the same one with your friend? Does she know that the person she was speaking to is a friend of yours?
I don't think she did; not that I know of. Yee, she does know he is my friend. Cause of problem?
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The problem here, HelmsmaN, is that she won't talk to me in real life. The most I think we've talked is 1-2 sentences. She did say 'sorry' today for accidentally hitting. I guess, progress? I'm trying my best to get the courage to ask if she wants to 'chill' or something.
I have her address and phone number - seeing she is my reference. She lives really close to me! Which is a bonus.
\*Sigh\* I have no idea what I'm doing, let alone, getting my self into.
I, seriously, feel neglected in a strange way... -
Too late....She, apparently, has a boyfriend. How magical is it that I was not even notified?
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I know it's easy for me to say, but it looks to me like you're better off than her boyfriend is. She's hardly been fair to him chatting to some other guy online and lying about his existance. You dont need someone like that as a girlfriend anyway, you'd only have got hurt worse in the long run. Still, I'm sorry to hear the outcome and that you've been hurt by it, x.
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I feel as if I've been scarred. I have this heavy burden on me. I don't think I can like another person again. It's just.... 'too much?'I think I've fallen for her friend, who is in my class. They're really good friends too - but now, I don't want to use her to get with her.This is kife; not only is this more fuel to my depression, in which, I swear I have, but I feel as if I need to take my own life - for a person!?Damn...I sound emo...
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Damn - Thanks, a lot; seriously.Yea, this girl, I don't talk to her on MSN, it's real life. We kinda hit it off - we were mocking feminists Do you think I should go for this girl? Until I can be fully reassured that the one I actually like is free?It's my plan now. I know, I know, It's a weird plan - but may be my best hope.
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Bah - I still can't talk to her; I've tried to avoid her but now, she teases me - haha. Oh fuck how I want her. Damn.Any way - she just teases me - seriously, once, she came just so close to me, like, she wanted me to touch her. Of course of my stupidity, I didn't do anything. Not even say anything.I feel so freaking dirty; lonely too.I have not had a girl for 5 years!! That's...horrible... ahh. I've only had 1 girlfriend. That's right - go mock me
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Your not touching her has nothing to do with your looks, so I'm glad we've gotten that out of the way.
> I feel so freaking dirty
That's pretty mysterious. Why did you say that?
Why do you feel so insecure that you won't make a move on a girl who seems to be throwing herself at you?
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Naw - I don't know why I feel this way. I should talk to a psychologist. Or, I'm just not appealing enough for her?
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Or, I'm just not appealing enough for her? She doesn't think so. You do. That's not rational. What's the deal? Something to think about.
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She doesn't think what? We kinda look the same, she has snake bite piercings in her nose? (There's 2 on each side) So... could d have something in common?
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She's flirting with you, so she doesn't think you're not appealing enough! Jeeeez, dude.> could d have something in common?You certainly have one thing in common, besides the fact that you seem to be interested in each other. If you'd talk to her, you could find out if you have more things in common.Stop throwing roadblocks in your path and blaming your looks or whatever. You need to just do it, or figure out what's holding you back.
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Hmm - flirting in gestures? Never thought about that one.I don't think she's interested in me; but I should try talking. Unfortunately, I'm too shy.And a misfit.
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You make your own reality. If you're happy living in the reality you've created, that's great. Otherwise....
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I hate this reality I've made. I've made an architect of my own doom. Unless... there's a way to change it?
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I wish I could give you the gift of being older, where you stop giving a damn what other people think; then having confidence is not such a big issue. You need to keep pushing yourself beyond your boundaries until it all becomes less of a big deal. Would you want to be on stage after having played guitar for a few weeks? Probably not. The difference between playing a guitar and dealing with people is that playing guitar takes real skill; dealing with people can be faked, until interacting becomes so natural that you don't have to act confident.Now would be a good time to cultivate your acting abilities. The more you do it, the easier it gets.