Why?

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Here it is.... Its Christmas Eve and here I am, feeling like I'm waiting for the Great Pumpkin to arrive... Have you ever been so sad that it hurts to even cry? I want the nightmare to end. Perhaps Im really lying in a coma somewhere and this past year and a half is just one big huge nightmare and Im waiting for that magic kiss to wake me up from all of this.If there is a Santa please grant me just one wish I want to wake up from this nightmare and be happy again.I question the existence of God. I trusted you and put my faith in your hand and this is where you have led me. I have so many questions for you yet I never hear any answers.From this night forth I no longer believe in you and forsake thee and your false sense of hope and love. Youre a hypocrite!Merry Christmas? No! Just another cold, sad, heartless day in the perfect world you created.

Well I think you're a pretty neat guy Roc, I hope things improve for you soon.

Welcome to the dark side !If my shit goes the way Id like it to and hope it will over the next year, if ya wanna move to Utah, Id give ya fucking job. No bennies, understand Im a small buisness owner, small is being generous, Im a micro business owner.I do have a hot woman though, that makes me pretty happy. My kids make me happy when they are not making whats left of my hair fall out or turn gray.Good luck Roc.Unemployment here is the lowest in the country if its jsut ajob that ya need to fix shit for ya. Of course that would require ya to live in the most fucked up state (politic wise) Iv ever seen, and its not real close to your kids, but I swear it is better than texas, I fucking hate texas.And should ya ever stop by here, Ill buy ya a beer and put your ass up for a night.

This is exactly what I'm talking about (see depression forum)

hon, EVERYTHING happens for a reason, a christmas like you are having will make every one from now on that much more special.Things my not be going your way at the moment, but you have Daren and the kids, you have your health, so it could be VERY much worse...........christmas isn't about how much we spend, its about Family and spending time with people we love...........a couple of years ago i spent my christmas in hospital with my daughter after puncturing her eye, gary went back and forth, the boys stayed at mums, and it was the hardest christmas ever.......As for god, do what i do, believe in yourself, your the only one you can truly beleive in..............things WILL get better baby...........take a deep breath and try and see the positive things, and not the negative in everything, even tho the negative is the easiest to see.All our love cuddles

I'm very sorry things are so bad, Roc.

Now that you've given up on god, you're better equipped to make things happen for your self, and you will.I was feeling like shit christmas eve, especially at that moment when I dropped my son off with his mom and had to deal with the fact that for the first time in his life, we weren't going to be together on christmas day.Christmas is the time of year when bad things seem worse but this shall pass, just like the day.I got through, so will you. In reply to: EVERYTHING happens for a reason Love you Angel but damn, I'm sick of that expression. We have the power of self direction. We can make our lives better or worse. Let's work on better

I believe that the whole year 2006 was a nightmare.Cheer up, Roc, because 2007 will bring the light....and don't give up on God. NEVER give up on God!

LOL i know most people hate that expression, i think i may overuse it on occasion grin however, its something i truly believe in - for example - things sometimes have to be so bad before you will push yourself to change, many people are not happy, but not unhappy enough to do anything about it - if that makes sense - i beleive that things happens sometimes to push people to make a change, or decision which then is for the best..........anyway i know what i mean by that. oh and i love you too blue eyes mwah

Hello Everyone...Happy New Year.I wanted to thank everyone for all of your PM's, your emails, your kind words and good cheer. I made it thru the holidays (I'm not sure how) and I kind of see some light ahead in this dark tunnel. I have put a small amout of faith in the kitty towards a much better year.Here's to fulfilling our dreams and resolutions for 2007 let the adventure begin!

OOOOOOOOOOOO i love a good adventure YEEHAAAA!!!!

Quote:

I made it thru the holidays (I'm not sure how)

Yaya!! *does snoopy dance*

yea u know how... u know it was cuz of my email... :grin:

This is so very good to hear! Hang in there!

Originally Posted By: CR125 Quote:I made it thru the holidays (I'm not sure how) Yaya!! does snoopy danceyea u know how... u know it was cuz of my email... Thanks Chance... It really helped me out. I owe you one.

His name is Caleb, actually :grin:

well that's better than beign called dextor...... witch is wut paul's done started callign me after he saw the musiulm movie.HE want say y tho.... just says u'll see when u see the movie. anyone know.? lol

Glad to know it helped ya out Roc, as well as teh chat we had on IM the other night, but who you qouted was not I.You still soused on Vodka? Ima bit jealous being sober and all.