I apologize for this entry being a little bit long, but as i am a new member, i have to give a little history for my concerns to make sense!All throughout my younger life i had had big problems dealing with the insertion of anything into my vagina. attempting to insert anything into my vagina was like attempting to push your finger through an open wound, and of course, that made tampons impossible. finally, on my first visit to the gynecologist my problem was diagnosed -- i had an imperforate hymen. I did have a small opening; just enough to allow enough menstrual blood to pass so that i had a reason to wear a pad. Unfortunately, the hole wasnâ€™t big enough to allow all the blood to pass, and as a result now, a year later, Iâ€™m facing concerns that my endometriosis is causing me serious health problems. This has been quite a hurdle, but i did have surgery to completely remove my hymen, so all should be better.Unfortunately, it's not, and it seriously beginning to get in the way of my sex life. Youâ€™d probably guess that by my saying i had an imperforate hymen until i was 18, i am a virgin. were it not for my hymen, i would probably have lost my virginity years ago. unfortunately, my hymen could not be broken by anything short of a knife, and so now, half way through college with a 6-year long relationship heavily leading towards engagement, i'm getting a little tired of the virgin lifestyle. i think its important to know that i can be sexually compatible with someone before i decide to spend my life with them, and i've gotten way past all my own social/mental/religious inhibitions about it.my problem is that, due to my once virtually nonexistent vagina, i may as well be as developed as an infant. the surgery did leave me with some scarring, which has been painful for nearly a year now. my vagina is extremely tight, due to its never having been used. i cant seem to stretch, and trying is very painful, in that it literally brings me to tears. a finger is almost too much for me to handle, and im getting really stressed out about it.im ready to have sex, and mentally i am beyond the point of being afraid of it. what i am afraid of, however, is that i wouldnâ€™t be able to handle it... if its even possible. if i can barely stretch around two fingers, how should i be able to handle a penis? even beyond the stretching, my vagina is extremely sensitive to the point of pain due to its lack of use.i have been diligent in attempting to ease this problem, but as of yet, i have been unsuccessful. i am on break right now, and about to take a vacation with my boyfriend to the mountains. i feel like now is the perfect time, if such a thing exists. any advice would be greatly appreciated. waiting till marriage is absolutely not going to work! I thought college was supposed to be fun?
After effects of an imperforate hymen
I would recommend getting several sizes of dildo's and start working on penetration startin with the smallest and working up to larger sizes untill you can comfortably accomodate teh standard size
Hi Ruth, don't lose heart - you've just been a bit unlucky is all. Don't stress out, there is a solution to this!Firstly, remember that the vagina itself is really stretchy, so it is highly unlikely to be your vagina which is too tight - it is much more likely to be just the vaginal opening, where your hymen was. As you suspect, there is probably some scar tissue there since the op (especially if it has been sore for a year - ouch!) It is possible that they didn't do a great job of removing the hymen, and if you have caused some tiny injuries and stretches in the meantime then maybe the scar tissue has inflamed and become too tight.One thing that happens, if the entrance to the vagina is sore, is that the vagina will often 'subconsciously' clamp up to protect itself from further damage from objects being inserted. This makes everything worse, causing more damage if you persist and making you sore and frustrated. So you need to treat the pain first, by letting yourself heal properly, then get relaxed and comfortable enough to allow friendly objects in.Personally, I think you should go back to your gyno (or a different one) and tell them the problem. They can have a good look and decide whether you need another little op to fix it, or they might just suggest you use some dilators to gradually stretch the opening a bit.You can get a set of special 'vaginal dilators', which are basically just little 'medical' dildos of different sizes - or you can do the same thing yourself with other objects (like sdp suggests), only going up to a larger size when you can comfortably take the smaller one regularly for a week or two. Obviously, you need to make sure that everything is scrupulously clean and you might need to use an antiseptic cream to help soften the scar tissue, lubricate the dilator and protect against infection if there are minor abrasions etc.A gyno will be able to give you more accurate advice on the best thing to do and what to use.Good luck!