I am having some relationship problems.I really dont know how to start so Ill just kinda ramble on.First, I am very confused at this point of my life. For some reason, I have not been attracted to any of the many young women at my school. It is not like Im attracted to dudes; its just that I dont feel attracted to anyone. I just recently broke up with my girlfriend of 3 months because I did not feel like it was going to work. We did not get very far, just long make-out sessions on her couch. It was always her doing because I never really felt like it at that moment. I do fantasize about making out with random girls but when it comes to real life, I just cant do it. From afar, girls do not really give me that "feeling" or a turn on, but up close they do. Like touching and kissing and just the heat from their bodies. My fantasies have sometimes drifted to men and other guys from my school but I immediately stop until those subside, at least I try. Sometimes I succumb to the temptation and I "finish up".My home is a home that feels that homosexuality is a sin and that homosexuals will go to hell. My family also believes that homosexuality is a choice that cannot be taken back. I believe these too, however I am having some homosexual feelings occasionally and I am very disturbed by them. I am too ashamed to confront anyone about these feelings for fear of well...Because thats not who I want to be. I try so hard not to have these because I just feel like crying after, which is not helping me at all. I really hate myself for having these problems.I do believe that Hell is a very real place and I am horrified of the fact that I might be going there. I do not want to bring too much religion into this post but I am trying to hold some of it out.I guess I am just a very insecure right now but any input or advice would be much appreciated.
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Just some things that have been on my mind....
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Welcome to A2A. I'm sorry that you are feeling very confused. You didn't say how old you are you. I too beleive that there is a place where the bad souls are taken when that time has come. I however don't beleive that being gay is a choice. Organized religion, personal homophobic ignorance and the inability for tolerance is the casue for that. This has been a very heated topic for a long time here on this board and I won't get into that with you. What you honestly beleive in "Your Heart" is what is right for you. Your parents or your church do not have the right to tell you what you should feel or how you should live your life. They can offer guidence but you are your own master of your life. Be true to yourself. You are who you are. Whether that means your straight or gay. It's not uncommon for young boys to think about other males when sexually aroused and are masturbating. Most likely you are just sexually identifying with other males and invision sexual snap shot that you can identify with . When your 12 or so, we have no idea what a vagina really looks like up close, or who it feels being inside of one, but we do know what having a boner feels like and we know what it feels like to masturbate so that is what we identify with when your eyes are closed and your jacking off. Until you actually have a heterosexual encounter, you have nothing to go by accept what yoou see on the internet.I would just relax and not stress out about it and concentrate more on the pleasure your feeling from your personal quality time...Oh and parents love is unconditional. If you did realize you were gay, If your parents turn their back on you, they aren't good parents at all.Did any of that make sense? I'm having a problem getting it out tonight.
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I dont really feel like they are telling me who to be or what to be. I beleive that what I feel and think is genually what I belive, nothing that anyone else has told me.I'm 14 by the way
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Well, I guess that is good then. From my experience in life, I have found that if you find yourself thinking about males sexually, and find you have urges to have sex with other males or want to see them naked or like to admire their bodies and you feel a stronger connection towards males than females, than chances are your gay.I believe that being "Gay" is not a choice! A gay lifestyle has got to be one of the most difficult lifestyles to life. It is a lifestyle that is full of hate, discrimination and ignorance from outside influence. I don’t know one person who would honestly choose to live with such repression and pain.All of those things are taught by parents, friends and organized religion. Why do people care so much about who you sleep with, who you fall in love with, who you have sex with. It your business, nobody else! You’re young. Just let life take his course and don’t worry about things yet.
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Originally Posted By: RocWell, From my experience in life, I have found that if you find yourself thinking about males sexually, and find you have urges to have sex with other males or want to see them naked or like to admire their bodies and you feel a stronger connection towards males than females, than chances are your gay. Like I said before, Its just occasionally and I usually stop it. Most of the time I think about women.I have been tempted bt thoughts about guys but I dont to act upon those.
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How do you "think" I don't think Ive ever done it before.......
