STRESS!!!!!!
I'm guessing that was a dig at me. I also would like to point out that I rarely swear; I was simply phrasing my reply to you as you had to everyone else... replying to this:
Quote:
But if you're not married to, let alone even engaged to someone, you shouldn't be fucking them.
For better or worse, different people have different ideas on what "moral" means. Browbeating someone into agreeing with your idea of morality rarely works.
You can make your case to your mom, but there's no way you can force her to change. In any case, counseling might help you deal with your situation. It's not the counselor's job to tell you you're wrong and your mom is right, or vice versa, but you may get something useful out of the effort.
Getting something useful out of going to a counsellor, for me, is like licking a tree. It does nothing other than being a waste of time.
Originally Posted By: dragonflyguy73 It's cool to see how nice in your words you guys really are.When you say that was a dig at me, do you mean this quote? Certainly. Replying with something like "Your mom can fuck who she likes" does nothing other than piss me off.
You quoted me! Christ.. and have you actually read your own posts? You really are a bunch of contradictions, you know that?
Do you honestly think that you have the right to stop your mother from having sex? She is not married to your dad any more, she can go out and have sex with whomever she wants. You can try to stop her, but it will not be appreciated. In fact, any attempt would probably just damage your relationship with your mother.Your mother is single and from what you've said, it seems like she has given you quite a while to adjut to that. But she needs to go on with her life, and that includes having a sexual relationship. It is wrong for you to try to stop her. You're 17, you're almost an adult, you have no doubt voiced your independence to her many times. If you wanted to, you could go out and have a girlfriend and have sex, there is nothing stopping you. You choose not to do it. Your mother has chosen to go ahead with it. She has made a different decision and there is nothing you can do about it.Quote:It's cool to see how nice in your words you guys really are.On the main page of these forums, above the list of forums, it says:We encourage uncensored and open dialog, but keep in mind that tolerance of other opinions, viewpoints, and lifestyles is what A2A is all about.We can express our opinions on the matter using curse words if we like, and you can reply in kind. Again, you just chose not to do it while others do.
Originally Posted By: AmzYou quoted me! Christ.. and have you actually read your own posts?My original posts were voicing my annoyance at what's going on in my damn life, and weren't focused towards anyone.
Originally Posted By: bobalicious
Do you honestly think that you have the right to stop your mother from having sex? She is not married to your dad any more, she can go out and have sex with whomever she wants. You can try to stop her, but it will not be appreciated. In fact, any attempt would probably just damage your relationship with your mother.
You honestly don't think that our relationship isn't damaged enough?
Of course I realise that your relationship with her is damaged, but do you think that it will help anyone for you to stop her from living her life, just because her choices offend your morals?
Originally Posted By: bobaliciousYour mother is single and from what you've said, it seems like she has given you quite a while to adjut to that. But she needs to go on with her life, and that includes having a sexual relationship. It is wrong for you to try to stop her.Again, that's your opinion.
Originally Posted By: bobaliciousWe can express our opinions on the matter using curse words if we like, and you can reply in kind. Again, you just chose not to do it while others do. Sounds like a loophole to explain insulting me as opposed to me refusing to do the same.I fucking hate life. I thought posting on here would make me feel better, but your replies just make things worse.Just because you guys may find it okay that someone's mom is fucking a guy she isn't married to nor plans to get married anytime soon if at all, doesn't mean I do. And I highly doubt you'd feel the same if it was your mom. And if you did, then you must be doing the same thing, fucking people reguardless.
Yes, it is my opinion. Thanks for pointing that out.
Originally Posted By: bobaliciousYes, it is my opinion. Thanks for pointing that out. Any time.
Who has insulted you? Grvtykllr said things in a forceful manner, but that was his response to you disagreeing with what others were saying, apparently without much consideration. It seems to have just pissed you off, which is to be expected, but believe it or not, that was him trying to help you.
Our replies are making you feel worse because we are not saying whatever it is you want us to say. Its a common problem on this forum, but it has to happen sometimes. We are not here to simply comfort you and agree with you, we are here to try solve your problems.
Sometimes we have to ignore our own discomfort in a situation and think of others. You were angry that your mother asked you if you didn't want her to be happy, but if you love your mother then you should give her this one thing. You may hate it and never like it, but it is this one thing that you can give your mother. I know its sounds weird, giving your mother permission to have sex, but it something that she needs, and more importantly, its something that she wants. Let her have it.
Again, yes, all of this is my opinion, but what more can you expect from me?
Originally Posted By: bobaliciousbelieve it or not, that was him trying to help you.Sorry, but I choose not. Maybe he was trying to help, but he doesn't sound like someone who would be a good father to me.And thanks Bobalicious, because in your last post you said what no one else has. They simply put forward their harsh words without any explanation into anything they're saying.Originally Posted By: bobaliciousI know its sounds weird, giving your mother permission to have sex, but it something that she needs, and more importantly, its something that she wants. Let her have it.Once again sorry, but I don't think so. Regardless that she's the adult and I'm the child, she knows of my religious-based morals, and she knows what this is doing to me.
Well I'm feeling depressed and it's 7 PM, been up since 4, so I'm just going to go to bed...
It is unfortunate that you don't believe me, but you won't find anyone apologizing on his behalf. He is not a bad person nor a bad father, his ways are just different from your own parents. And I'm glad that you can see why everyone is saying what they do. We will not offer help to stop your mother doing what she is doing, but we do offer a place for you to vent (as was the purpose of your original post) and somewhere to relax, calm down. You can do that by helping others here on the forum, or just by messing about in the community forum. We can help you deal with your situation, and we want to.
Originally Posted By: bobaliciousIt is unfortunate that you don't believe me, but you won't find anyone apologizing on his behalf. He is not a bad person nor a bad father, his ways are just different from your own parents.Really... and you don't find what he says about his son wrong, that his son deserves more than that from his father?Edit: Oh and when I said up since 4.. that's PM. I woke up at 8 AM and ate, but then slept until 12, then until 4 kuz I didn't want to get up. Now I'm just depressed again and I'm gunna sleep more....... sigh...But I still don't agree with what my mom is doing and I'm definitely going to continue to argue with her about it..
What he said about his son? He said that if his son argued with him in the manner that you do with your mother, he would take away his allowance.And why would you want to continue arguing? You are her son and she loves you, but you are not the most important person in your family. She is not on this earth to care for you at the expence of her own life. She gives you a home, food to eat and money to spend. Why is it so wrong for you to give her some privacy in return for all that she gives you?
Dragonflyguy73, the others are trying to give you good advice. Good advice is not necessarily going to be exactly what you you want to hear, and in this situation you have come up against some principles that it's important to learn.The first is that we are responsible for our own behaviour, not that of others. We can change our own behaviour, but, as you're finding, we can't change that of others. And when people try to change other people's behaviour to fit their own views of what is moral, they become busybodies (which St Paul hated) or worse.If it's not sufficiently agreed upon by society to become law, you shouldn't try to impose it on others.The second important principle is that other people don't exist just for our benefit - not even our parents. Other people are as important as ourselves, and have as many rights as ourselves.Indeed, at your age you should be becoming more emotionally independent, preparing for the day when you leave the nest and stand on your own feet. To expect your mother to be ruled by you is not only bad for her, but also bad for you.
