STRESS!!!!!!

---

Originally Posted By: HelmsmaNbecause honestly, not many men want to get involved with a single woman with a punkass little brat 17 year old that is trying to run things when all that's really happening is that the mouth is running.Yeah, because as usual my opinions don't make a difference. She said just the other day that she understands where I'm coming from, but I don't think she does. You may think so on here, but I haven't really "run my mouth off" that much. I usually just get depressed and go to sleep, and that's what I'm doing right now, so.. whatever.

Originally Posted By: IneligibleIndeed, at your age you should be becoming more emotionally independent, preparing for the day when you leave the nest and stand on your own feet. To expect your mother to be ruled by you is not only bad for her, but also bad for you.I know she won't give a shit, but it won't make me feel any better if I don't at least TRY to make her understand why I feel the way I do. But that probably won't matter, because I'll feel like shit still anyway.And in terms of being "emotionally independent" that's a joke. I don't open up to others, especially to my mom. And counselors do nothing for me. I guess being picked on throughout school your entire life will do that to you, not having any friends besides one person and everyone else shuns you, always being turned down by any girl you like, then your parents get divorced and your life is torn apart even more. And it especially helps that the reason for my mom to move out isn't justified according to what I believe in, and makes no fucking sense no matter how many times she tries to explain the stupid fucking reason to me. And then your mom gets a boyfriend who she decides to be fucking, regardless of why you disagree. Yeah, life is awesome. Sometimes I wonder if hell wouldn't be so bad, when it seems so often that we're in a living hell right now....I'm anti-social, have severe anxiety, don't open up to others, am currently depressed all the time, have barely any friends, and have to deal with this stress... why is it worth it? (I've thought about suicide and don't worry about me, there's no way I'm doing that stupid shit. I'm just saying that life sucks, with all that sucks in life I'm wondering why it's worth it to care anymore)

Hi Dragonflyguy73. Due to the large amount of posts in this thread, I went through and read your original post and your replies to others. The rest I just skimmed through.From what I can tell, you are stressed about this change in your life. When dealing with stress, you become angry and with it you spiral into a state of depression. Anger and depression require a lot of energy. So you feel like you need to sleep to escape from it all and get that energy back. Am I correct so far?My recommendation is that you find a positive hobby or activity away from the house to take your mind off of everything at home. Back when I was dealing with a lot of stress, one of my escapes was work. At work, I was happy and it was the only place that I felt "normal" once again. My co-workers and the people around me didn't know what I was going through and it was rather comforting. You may need to find your place of normalcy.Do you find it hard to clear your mind? Do you feel like you're always thinking about what's currently happening with your parents? Like I said, you should find a place of normalcy for yourself. Somewhere doing something that will take your mind off of it. It is mentally unhealthy to keep yourself in this state of stress.Let's calm down and think about this. If your not calm, you will not have a stable response to the question here.Do you think that by yelling at your mother it will change the situation into something that you can handle?Realize that by expressing to your mother that you dislike what she is doing, it is only natural for her to become defensive. Keep your calm, and respond to each of her questions honestly. In the moment that she asked, "don't you want me to be happy?" I would hope that your simple and honest answer would be, "yes."By keeping your calm and honestly agreeing with the simple questions, she will see that you are thinking rationally and will drop her guard. If she is in defensive mode, she can hear what your saying... but it doesn't necessarily mean she is listening.I think it would be wise to realize that you are not the only one dealing with hard change in the aftermath of the divorce. You are all dealing with certain issues in each of your lives. The difference between you and your parents is that their experience in this life has taught them what they can do to deal with it. It's not necessarily the right way, but it's a way nonetheless. In your mother's case, she thinks that since she's been in a committed relationship for so long that maybe to find the guy that she would be happiest with she has to date. Or perhaps she thinks that dating will make her happy. Is it wrong that she feels she needs to date? I believe wrong is a perception of the matter. In your perception, it is wrong because your not ready to handle it. You feel like you need more time. In her perception, perhaps it is right because she has been in a long relationship and she is lacking compassion. Thus, who is right and who is wrong? Perhaps there is no right and wrong.Most people who lack compassion seek it. You tried to talk to your cousin and when that failed, you came to the A2A boards. I must say, most of the time, to receive compassion we must exert compassion. If you want your mom to genuinely listen to you, then you must treat her with respect.Do you think that by yelling at your mother it will change the situation into something that you can handle?Has your answer to this question changed since I first asked it? If it has not, I just wanted to point out something...You CAN handle it. You do have the ability to do so. If you continuously tell yourself that you can't, then you won't be able to.I think ulitmately, you will need to find acceptance. Without it, you will find that things can get worse. Fighting will only push the ones you love away from you.

Thanks for the reply Web, it helped, and made a lot of sense. But right now I don't want a job, and I just don't know what I can do anymore that I'll enjoy to keep my mind off of this, because I've just been thinking about it all for so long and it's hard to even want to do anything anymore......And since I got my GED and will be going to college in the fall, I'm not in high school, so I'm not away from home at school half of the day (even though she works during the day most weekdays, although I guess just being here I'll think about things, as I don't do much right now as I usually enjoy PC games but I don't really like any that are out right now)And you know how they say animals are really intuitive? Well I don't know I agree with that anymore, because sometimes when I've been depressed in the past (about anything) I'd try to spend time with my dog or talk to her or something, lay down next to her, but it just seems like she doesn't notice how I feel and just jumps off the bed or w/e and goes and does the stuff she normally does, like any other day. And I don't really care what anyone thinks about my talking to my dog or trying to find comfort in spending time with her when I'm depressed, so if you flame me you're just wasting your time. But now it just seems like that isn't true, that dogs don't really notice how you're feeling, or care. Not sure why I wanted to add this, I just felt like it..

Originally Posted By: HelmsmaNYour signature says a lot - you would rather be pissed off, instead of being so strong in your soul that nobody could ever piss on you.Actually... my sig is simply a play on words, a "joke" if you will. It was never anything serious, and didn't have anything to do with real life, or myself.

You'll find something. Don't worry. Just get yourself out of the house more. Go for walks in the park or something constructive.It's interesting what you said about your dog. Here's the thing about dogs... they love you unconditionally and they're non-judgemental. They can be perfect to find compassion in. So, it's not weird or stupid. My grandma lived a lot longer because of her dog. She had emphysema and would have stayed in bed if it weren't for Snoopy wanting to go to the bathroom every morning and waking her up. She loved that big goofy dog. And my sister, who was in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend, she had her dog to talk to and comfort her. Although he just did what he wanted and acted like nothing bad was happening, he was her unconditional love that she sought.Will you be staying local for college? I was just curious.

Originally Posted By: websexinfoWill you be staying local for college? I was just curious. Yeah, but by then I'll be immersed in college, all the homework, probably a part time job, so even if I'm still living here(which I plan on doing) I'll probably be too busy to be stressed about this shit anymore.Edit: and hopefully some kind of relationship, but maybe not, because I've only had 2 girlfriends and I've been rejected more than anything. Because of lack of confidence, or for whatever reason, it sucks.Edit 2: Well, It's 1 AM and I think I'll go to bed for real, and try to will myself to want to get up in the morning, for whatever reason that I don't know of right now... later.

A lot of people consider homework, a job, and study to be stressful. Do you think so? I actually find such duties as being refreshing... Most of the time. lolYeah, maybe you will find a girl while going to college. It's common. Prior to a relationship with another person, it is important to have a good relationship with your self. Acceptance is more than accepting others. It's also about accepting yourself.Well, good night.

Why won't you consider living on campus, or getting an apartment and roommates? Is it a financial issue? I'd think you'd be a lot happier living with like-minded roommates rather than a mother whose morals you disagree with, for four (or however many) more years.

Originally Posted By: websexinfoA lot of people consider homework, a job, and study to be stressful. Do you think so? I actually find such duties as being refreshing... Most of the time.Same for me.

Originally Posted By: Steve_AWhy won't you consider living on campus, or getting an apartment and roommates? Is it a financial issue? I'd think you'd be a lot happier living with like-minded roommates rather than a mother whose morals you disagree with, for four (or however many) more years. Yeah it's for financial reasons, because even if I get a part time job during college, I'd be paying for the apartment and everything for it, instead of saving it to put towards student loans later on. But maybe not, I dunno. I just figured there isn't a reason to get an apartment, because the college I plan on going to originally is extremely close to home. And I could live on campus, but I have pets. A dog and 3 sugar gliders (massive 6 ft. tall cage) that I take care of, and it would be too much to ask my mom to take care of them for like 2 years.Edit: And I don't know if this is normal but I've been awake since like 12 and then my mom comes driving up the driveway and in the door... and now I have a headache, where as I felt fine 10 minutes ago. Woo...

Quote:Edit: And I don't know if this is normal but I've been awake since like 12 and then my mom comes driving up the driveway and in the door... and now I have a headache, where as I felt fine 10 minutes ago. Woo...Could be a coincidence... or could be your subconcious. Ya never know.

Quote:Same for me.That's good news!

Quote:I don't know if this is normal but I've been awake since like 12 and then my mom comes driving up the driveway and in the door... and now I have a headache, where as I felt fine 10 minutes ago.That sounds very typical of stress.

Woo... and I just found out that I'm apparently pretty much kicked off the airsoft team I've been on. Life just gets better and better. No wonder I'm anti-social... no one wants to accept me.First it was because the 1 kid who was leading my team was bitching because I was "always walking." And that's somewhat untrue. I ran when it counted, and only went slower when I was out of range of being hit/was safe. And I'm not exactly in-shape and they know that...But apparently the 1 kid whose place it was was really pissed that me and my younger cousin were shootin at the table we all gather around inbetween games. We did it more than the others, but they've done it too and it's not like I'd ever even come CLOSE to hitting anyone in the face. But whatever, now I'm not welcome over there... and apologizing won't do when it comes to the one fuckin kid. And besides, they'll just find another reason to kick me out, as they're always finding some reason to bitch at me or dislike me...But it's not them... after arguing and then settling it on the forums, I finally realized... it's me... it's the way I am that makes this happen. It's my constant idiocy and my personality that just leads me into this with people, and then when I get wired up I bitch and go off and make things worse, and I think maybe it would be better if I just didn't try to get along, make friends with people.. whatever.............

my dog has never had that intuitive thing. he's always wanting to play and run around. cats tho can tell when ur in diffeent moods.(well mine does) i dk about mood really but when i'm sick /down or jsut in the crap holes (ok depressed) i can't get her away from me. she's been by me all day today! even after i told her to get off me (cuz she likes to get on my chest) the wired thing is she usally walks up me and lays on my chest or back but today she carfully walked to the side of me and got on my chest. it's like she knew i was sore or somthing. she's even by me now. i dk if she's even been down stairs to piss or shit. unless she did while i was asleep. horses (i think) are kinda the same way but oppisite. i swear when i'm not feeling well one of our mares just has to try me and act stupid just to make me feel worse. this isn;t abotu that but i thoguth it;s make u laugh (atleast it makes me laugh but i dk it maybe one of thaoe u have to see it kinda things) but mom;s young stud champ... when a woman/gril is on her period he smells her down there and then sticks up his head and makes a "stinky" face. ok ifg u never seen a horse make a stinky face it's just too funny. lol but my girl friend gets emabrrised when he does that so when she;s on her's she don't go around to the fron t of him. lol > horse's "stinky" face.. > http://www.pleasurehorse.com/showResults/_she/d21.jpg animals just have their ways.....but sometime i;d rather be around them than people. btw..wut is airsoft team?

Airsoft is like paintball, but with realistic guns based on real guns that shoot plastic bbs.

And... I didn't listen. The fact is reguardless of where I'm shooting the person, if they don't have their mask on I shouldn't be doing it. No matter what the chances are that I won't hit them anywhere near the face... and we didn't get along well I don't know... it's my personality and how I act... I just get on people's nerves I guess, and can't do anything right... and then when the pressure builds up until I can't take it anymore I go off and I make it 10x worse...

And in terms of anything, I have no release... there is no way for me to release my anger or my frustration... it just builds up until I can't hold it in anymore, and it all comes out at once... and counselors aren't for me, and I can't really talk to anyone... or I don't like to...

Maybe I'm just a huge fuck up who can't handle anything....

oh.. i've seen those. just never knew wut they were called.

> counselors aren't for me

Why do people keep saying that? Have you tried it and not had it work out well, or are you just above all that?