me and my bf have been dating for over a year, i lost my virginity to him a while back.. Earlier while he was at my house i was feeling of his back and i felt this big scratch when he showed me, it was around 6 inches long. so i was like wtf how did this get here? he said "you did it the other morning when u rolled over" immidiatley i knew that was a lie bc first off if i would've "accidently" scratched him it wouldnt have looked like that. So i kept my ground and told him i didnt. Then he gets a little deffensive and tells me "I know you did it so stop saying im a liar (thats what got me, how he got upset when all i did was asked) and second off i would've remembered if i scratched him that hard.. so after he left i have this sick feeling that i know something is not right. I called him and i was very straight forward and asked where he had really gotten it from and he was like " oh u mean the big scratch? my bed did it" so i was wondering y he changed his story all the sudden. he only had one scratch and he knew exactly what i was taling about when i questioned him the first time.. we havent had sex in 3wks usally he'd be begging for it and we used to do it maybe twicw a week.... i really dont know what to think, im so stressed out about all this shit. am i jumping to conclusion or what? i dont know what to do. If only i knew the truth i'd get out now
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I think he may be cheating
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Let me tell you get out why would he lie about a scratch? sounds like he's been getting it some where else if he has not had sex in three weeks with you ,why would he not want it unless he has been getting satified somewhere else.
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its just so hard to believe he could do something like that to me.. we didnt have SEX for 3 weeks but we did do other stuff but it was still weird from twice a week to none.
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Get out. I would bet he is getting it else where. Not only does it open YOU up to who knows what diseases, but look at how much it hurts.Are you willing to keep going through not trusting him? And being hurt over and over?
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I know i keep telling myself to get out before it gets alot worse. I don't think i can ever look at him the same after this. i haven't talked to him much since that night and he's getting the idea i dont believe him and he's acting all nice to me and thats very unusal
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Sounds like the classic "I screwed up, she caught me, better be nice and she will forget"
Ultimately it is your decision, and if it only happened once, you might be able to forgive but who knows if it will continue.
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I think you guys are diagnosing this with very little evidence. Sure there are some things that COULD suggest he's cheating. But there could also be other legitimate reasons for the scratch and the lack of sex.
Talk to him, even ask him directly if he is cheating.
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True, we are advising her on very little evidence, but it is pretty safe to say something is wrong with the lad. I think he is cheating, or messing around with someone else. He gave two different answers about the scratch and a scratch like that doesn't come from either of his two excuses. Getting very defensive over something so petty is a bad sign too. Well it doesn't take rocket science to figure this guy out. I mean if he was sincere, I would imagine that he would put your mind at ease and talk about it. In the end it is your call, but the heart can fog the mind.
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I have sat down and talked to him about it, but all i get is "Yes, it came from my bed. i thought we had discussed this" i did say we havent had sex for 3 weeks but we still messed around sometimes. he just seems more distant now b/c he's hanging out with his friends more, and i don't feel as close anymore.. i wish i had proof if he was definatley cheating so i could get out now. i can't see him doing that to me but i guess u never know..
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I don't get it. You're concerned about him cheating, but here you say you want to "make a move" on a female friend.So you get to cheat but he doesn't?
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wtf? thats not even me?!!? get ur facts straight before posting shit thats not right
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Oooops....girls and gurls posting at the same time. Sorry about that.
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[quote=Steve_A]Oooops....girls and gurls posting at the same time. Sorry about that. [/quotewow u would think u would cheak b4 postin
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Whatever you said, thanks for your comment. I'm sure it was very helpful.
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That's very cheaky... checky.. cheeky.. of you Steve
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Very checkered.
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First off, I tend to agree with JoeBloggs on this thread and the seemingly conclusive end that was reached leaving little room for other possibilities.>>>"I have sat down and talked to him about it, but all i get is "Yes, it came from my bed. i thought we had discussed this" Supposing it did what else would he say?"i did say we havent had sex for 3 weeks but we still messed around sometimes. he just seems more distant now b/c he's hanging out with his friends more, and i don't feel as close anymore.."Speaking from my own experiences and reactions, let me say I would react just as he did. I've had girls accuse me of cheating and nothing could put me off of them more. Hell I even broke up with a few of 'em simply for making the accusation. I just felt like I didn't have time for that game playing shit. And shit is what it was.Look at it this way, would you want to be around a guy who was questioning your loyalty, especially if they weren't letting it go over a matter of weeks?I'm not saying this is the case with your boyfriend just adding a another scenario to the mix to increase your general confusion.
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Thanks that really helps me alot, esp since u've been in the same situation with girls.. maybe i just need to trust him more i dont know.
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I just joined this forum but I help my friends out with stuff like this all the time. (God I sound retarded) Anyways, if you think he's cheating you need to bluntly ask him if he's been seeing someone else. Tell him that if he doesn't tell you the truth it's over. I understand you MUST have feelings for him, losing your virginity to him and all, but if he only wants you for sex, then you're wasting your time. My oppinion, this guy sounds like bad news. But I've never met him, and I could be tottaly pissing in the wind and calling out an innocent guy. I'm just going by what you've poted. Good Luck!
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What do you think about what OldFolks said?
(BTW, it's "romantically".)