Councillor

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Had my first appointment today with the "nut nut doc" (private), I dunno why I'm typing this, but it sorta helps to get this off my mind.

I can REALLY see why people go private, I mean like, I know it's her job to sit there and listen to me, but I "felt" that she was actually listening to me. I managed to get almost everything that's happen within the time that was allocated, I couldn't believe that she said "how forthcoming" I was with talking about it all.

The only thing I'm a little annoyed about is when she asked when I last hurt myself and then said "well that's only been a week", I suppose that when I think about it from how I've been over the last couple of months, I treat every extra day I don't do it as a goal.

I dunno if I trusted her or not, I suppose the biggest reason why I just came out and said everything to her was cuz I know in my head that I want to be back to the person I was before and not this cowering wreck I am at the moment, that and if I didn't I know that Bill (one of my friends) would come along with me and force it out :frowning:

to tell the truth I feel as though nothing is different, I mean, I don't feel any different but I suppose that it's also the drugs that are knocking back my "true" feelings

I started seeing a therapist/counselor for my depression about 2 months ago... She works in the counseling center at my college, but she also has a private practice... when I first started seeing her, I was like "wow.. I actually can just say everything I want to say"... and it's not like she was particularly easy to talk to, I just wanted to vent and she was a perfect outlet b/c she DOES in fact understand... However, I guess I expected it to be this huge weight off my shoulders... I've seen her basically every week for the past 2 months and I still feel stuck where I was before... the meds make it so I'm not as depressed... but mentally, I just don't necessarily feel like talking to her for 45 minutes a week is really helping... It's nice to go in and vent about my week.. but it's only a short-term release, and doesn't seem to be doing much good in the long term... I certainly don't look forward to my meetings with her.. it feels like a chore more often than not...But maybe your experience will be different... just give it time. you just started going.. so wait a month or two and see how it goes... and yeah, the meds might possibly be dulling things down a little bit for ya....remember I'm here if you need me.. just PM me for my number.

mine has to make me talk sometimes. my parents are making me do this. i guess it's a good thing. i'm not as strong as u paul I faild. ( yeah i said it here so you can't argue , ok not argue but u know what i'm saying , with me about it any more and well you whent to bed b4 i got back.) i'm emailing you. i'm not strong enough yet. your brave to tell the "world" u know what i mean diver dude

that sucks.

Post deleted by CR125

Some quotes from a book my counselor is letting me borrow..."You didn't do anything to become depressed. Your failure to do something didn't cause your depression. Depression is an illness. You are no more at fault for having depression than if you had asthma, diabetes, heart disease, or any other illness.""There are many misconceptions concerning God and depression. These include: 1) Depression is a punishment from God. 2) To seek help for depression is to doubt God's ability to heal it. 3) Depression is a spiritual illness; the only treatment should be God's personal intervention. ...In fact, God and God's benevolence come in many forms and manifest in many ways. Among these we must include modern science and the entire healing profession. (God moves in mysterious ways; psychiatrists are just one of them.) ...It is hard to find the believer who will not take penicillin for pneumonia, insulin for diabetes, or have a broken bone properly set. ...Modern treatment of depression is a gift from God.""Some people seem morally opposed to antidepressant medication. They have a firm belief that pain must be "dealt with," experienced, analyzed, categorized, and, at all costs, must not be avoided. Antidepressants do not numb the body, mind, or emotions. On the contrary, they usually make a person more perceptive and aware of feelings. The suffering of depression is not the ordinary occasional pain of living. Suffering, in fact, interferes with the processing of, and taking appropriate action about, pain. Pain is a signal that something is not right. Far from covering this pain, antidepressants help you deal with it more effectively. People being treated for depression often find that the clarity of mind, relief of emotional suffering, and increased energy allow them to clear up problems - mental, physical, and emotional - that had been festering for years. Antidepressant medications, then, are not an escape, a cover-up, or a short circuit for life's difficulties. They are a medicine to heal disease and end suffering."I don't know if you'll find any of those quote useful or helpful in any way... but they were the main ones that stuck out to me when I read the book... Sorry the quotes were so long.. that last one was nearly a whole page in the book... I just thought they might help somehow.

"How to Heal Depression" by Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D. & Peter McWilliamsit's a good book... every other page just has a single quote on it and the rest is informational... it's an easy read, but really informative...

Hey I know what you mean, I really hate that when people think that's all they have to do give themselves to God and there'll be amagic fix in their lives. My understanding and my own experience of God and accepting him is that it isn't easy, sure it's good and I can really feel his presence in my life, but accepting God doesn't make your problems go away, we are told that we have to take up our cross if we follow Christ, doesn't exactly sound like plain sailing. We still have free will, I think I may go on about it a bit, but only cos it's all about choice, we can look to God for guidance and help, but we still gotta do things for ourselves. I'm sorry if I seem a wee bit angery in this post jsut not feeling the best at the mo. Definatly go see a consellor and talk accept the help they can offer. God doesn't want us to suffer, Jesus always went out of his way to help others, even if it caused contraversy, ie healing someone on the Sabbeth. God helps us, but God moves through other people. Odelia has some good quotes there.