Marriage
What does marriage mean to you? What does it signify in your opinion?
What are the pros and cons of being married?
Are you married?
If so, why did you get married?
If not, do you want to get married and why?
If you don't plan on getting married, why not?
Hypothetical situation: A 30 year old woman and a 30 year old man got married 10 years ago. In the last 5 years of their marriage, both man and wife are unhappy.
In your opinion, should they remain together or get divorced?
In my view, the point of marriage is that you make a vow to stick with each other and each other only, even if you change your mind, even if someone better comes along.
Why would you do that? You do it because achieving anything significant requires sticking at it when it is no longer fun. Everything important, everything creative, has times that are hard grind, hard toil. Achievement requires getting through those. You won't really get to know your spouse until you have fallen out of love with him/her; until all his/her most irritating habits and mannerisms, the worst personality traits, are out there in full view. That gives you the opportunity for a real long-term relationship; and one with enough stability to support a family.
Sometimes, of course, it proves impossible. But in marriage you make a really serious go at it - one where you have made a definite decision and committed to it, for better or worse. It is more important to make a decision than for it to be the best (indeed, it never is).
to me when I see my mom and dad and my sis and her fiance I adore marriage. it's like.. this official bondage of love between a man and a woman. that woman belongs to the man and that man belongs to the women "till death do us part". I hope to get married some day. my parents have their days but they still get along. my sister's marriage was the best I've ever seen and she's been so happy ever since.
if the couple are unhappy for 5 years I do believe they should stay together and find some common ground
I really beleive, that the wedding is what you do when your in love, and the marriage is what keeps you together till you fall in love again.There are exceptions, such as abuse to either spouse, or the children. I am always a bit disgusted when a couple says, we just fell out of love, or money split us up. I was married to an abusive waste of skin. I tried EVERYTHING to reconcile, before I quit. I tried to be submissive, I tried counseling, I tried joint counseling, I tried to become more independent...When it was over, I STILL deeply grieved the marriage being over.I feel that it is a promise, and a bond between two people, papers or not. I think that if you go through the tough times, it makes the marriage stronger, that other person, is your partner to face this bad ol world.Pros and cons...The whole is greater than the sum of the parts. In other words, two people working on a problem, are going to get alot more accomplished than two people working on the same stuff seperatly. The cons, I suppose, is that you both have to be willing to work on the stuff together. It isn't always easy no matter how well you get along. You also always have more to consider than just yourself.Not married (anymore)Yes, I would love to marry my best friend someday. Even in the lousy marriage, when we DID work together, we accomplished alot.I really crave the support of a partnership.5 yrs out, unhappy why? Because there is abuse, or because someone won't give? Marriage isn't easy, but it's a promise to mend differences.
married for love
split for infidelity
love became hate
"In my view, the point of marriage is that you make a vow to stick with each other and each other only, even if you change your mind, even if someone better comes along."That is one of the strangest viewpoints I have ever heardMost people marry too youngShould two people make themselves and each other miserable for the rest of their lives due to a decision made out of immaturity?Even more importantly, should children be brought up in a house devoid of love?Everyone deserves a second chance at happiness
Quote:5 yrs out, unhappy why? Because there is abuse, or because someone won't give? Marriage isn't easy, but it's a promise to mend differences.The last 5 years out of 10 are unhappy for both people involved. Either situation that you mentioned, I'd like to know what your opinion is about it. If one spouse is abusive, what do you think they should do? If one spouse "won't give", what do you think they should do?I guess the broader and more important question is this. What point in a marriage do you think it's okay for divorce?Here's another scenario. Man and wife have been together for 20 years. The wife has more often been unhappy then happy. Her husband is emotionally abusive. He criticizes the way she dresses, what she eats, when she's quiet, when she's too loud, and he doesn't have patience with her when she happens to be a little moody. The last 5 years have been really rough on her and despite telling her husband how she feels and trying to get him to change. It seems, after years of trying, he won't change. Should she move on or should she stick it out and hope that he will change?
wow, I need to wake up better!Marriage is a partnership. You give it all you can, and I guess at some point, if only one is giving, then it isn't a partnership. There used to be alot of abuse, and it was just wrong to divorce. Now, people just divorce on a whim, that is where I have the issues with divorce.If one person is unhappy, it's on them to become happy. Unfortunately, sometimes, that does mean divorce...
Piece by piece, bit by bit.... Are you married? I may as well be, we have been together for more than a couple years, shes lived with me for nearly 3 of them now. We will bemarried, I have the rings, she wears the one big fucker, for all practical purposes Im married If so, why did you get married?If not, do you want to get married and why?If you don't plan on getting married, why not? I will marry her because I love her, I enjoy ever minute Im allowed to be with her. I was married once before, I never wanted to be I was young and dumb and she was under 18 and pregnant, there was no shotguns involved, but as close as you can come with out them. I hated that fucking bitch from the time I first rolled off her. she was to be a one night stand and I was drunk and stoned and too lazy to walk, literally across the street from my apartment and buy some rubbers. I stuck it out with that cunt for 10 years, I tried all I could try to make shit right, 10 years of suffering and hating adn arguing and fighting was more than enough, my regret now is that I didnt leave sooner. The onyl good thing to come out of that was my two sons. Divorce is expensive because its worth it, ever heard that? its 100 % fucking true. Hypothetical situation: A 30 year old woman and a 30 year old man got married 10 years ago. In the last 5 years of their marriage, both man and wife are unhappy.In your opinion, should they remain together or get divorced? Why are they unhappy? what led to it? grown apart? still on friendly terms or desperatly plotting each others demise? If they were in love once and married because they were posative its what they wanted then they should try to sit down and work shit out, if they already tried it, already sat downa dn talked shit out and its nto something fixable or one or both are nto willing to fix it then they should split up. Life is a temporary thing, its far to short to spend it being fucking miserable and full of spite. as far as a 30 yar old... whats age got to do with it? misery is misery, no matter the age.
Going through my local news shit I found this a few minutes ago. It illistrates WHY divorce is a viable option. I dont normally think of people needed a divorce during thier honeymoon. do they need a divorce ? or an anullment?
Quote:as far as a 30 yar old... whats age got to do with it? misery is misery, no matter the age.By putting down 30 as a number, I figured it would help avoid the "well, that's young" type of responses. In other words, I'm trying to avoid the age conversation by limiting the imagination to two 30 year olds.
Quote:do they need a divorce ? or an anullment? lol. Apparently, that relationship is not only unhealthy for the two that are involved, it is also unhealthy for the people around them... at least people driving around them while they are arguing anyway.
I always thought an anullment was a 'nice' divorce for catholics who could afford one
Anyone fill me in further on the technicalities?
For eg: Prince (muso) got one after several years of marriage and haveing a child
If its annulled, it officially never took place, the marriage license ceasts to exist and they were in fact, never married.
What I understand is an annulment is when a court decides that marriage was invalid in the first place.EDIT: Grvtykllr, you make me look slow. lol
Im currently eating so Im right here doing not alot else besides making my typos and stuffing my face, its Ok, Ill be gone in the next ten minutes and you can jump on each new post. Atleast till the morning comes, well the afternoon, my mornings consist of shit that keeps me far from the computer.
active topics, last 24 hours, f5.
Its all ya need to know to see the new shit, and Im just sitting her ebored and eating and f5 ing for atleast a few more minutes.
I like to chime in here and there. I did get a funny image of you stuffing your face with spaghetti, fork in the right hand and the left hand tapping the f5 key every 3 seconds. :grin:
actualy it was pizza last night, the pasta was a few days ago.and tis nto that often I hit it its more like 3 or 4 bites, click it, surf the tv line up, fucking nothing on, click f5, couple more bites.
I find my imagination to be more entertaining. Pizza sounds good right about now.
What does marriage mean to you? What does it signify in your opinion?Marriage to me means two people have gotten to know each other and have fallen in love deeply have decided to make the decision to spend the rest of their lives together. They want to live and exist together as one, they want more than just dating. They may wish to raise a family etc. They have thought about it long and hard and are both ready for the decision. To me it signifies a special decision between two people, they have chosen to give themselves to the other person, and stand by them through the good and the bad. You are committed to one person and you will stay faithful to them. What are the pros and cons of being married?By being married you should have a partner that will always be there for you. Some one who will always love you, no matter what happens. Through the good and the bad, always support you. They should be your equal. You live together, share a house together. They should be some one you can confide in, share your thoughts, fears, hopes, and dreams. You have some one to share the rest of your life with. You are tied down, you have to live the person. You may find later on little quirks about the person bother you etc. You can't do whatever you feel like, you have some one to answer to and make decisions with. It is not as easy to break off a marriage as it is to just break up from dating or break off an engagement. Are you married? No If so, why did you get married?N/AIf not, do you want to get married and why? I would like to get married, and have some one to share my life with. However whether or not that happens I don't know. If you don't plan on getting married, why not?N/AHypothetical situation: A 30 year old woman and a 30 year old man got married 10 years ago. In the last 5 years of their marriage, both man and wife are unhappy.In your opinion, should they remain together or get divorced? I think it depends on the situation. Like what is making them unhappy? Is there abuse? Money problems? Do they have children? Have they tried counseling etc? In general I would say no they should try to work it out first, but if something serious like abuse is going on, then divorce is a good idea.
