I am wanting to try and appear friendlier with my work colleagues because at the moment I am very standoffish because I do not like myself and I do not want people to know about me.However, I have never socialised before so I don't know how to try and make friends.I mainly work with other men, mostly around 18/19 (and I am 25), so I know i am not going to make proper friends, but at least I want to be able to chat with them and share some things in common.At the moment, I have a reputation for being hard to talk to and many colleagues get embarrassed around me and don't know what to say.I need some advice, for example, is it ok to refer to people by their name when talking to them - or is that too personal?Also eye contact - I prefer to stare at the floor when I speak to people, but maybe eye contact looks friendlier?
Advice to make friends?
Eye contact, smiling, and using a persons name are all ways to be friendly.
You will be surprised at how quickly you become part of the group, if you just smile a lot. When someone does talk to you, be nice, answer their quesions, and a bit of joking around always helps.
Also eye contact - I prefer to stare at the floor when I speak to people, but maybe eye contact looks friendlier? That is a big problem. You need to look at people (perhaps not stare) when you're talking to them, and you certainly need to look engaged when they're talking to you. While they're talking you can smile when they say something interesting, and nod your head when you agree with someone.Then there's body language....but start with the basic stuff.