If I'm unable to have an orgasm via fingering, rubbing, the faucet, or vibrating... is it still likely I'll be able to have one from oral or sex?
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Frustrated!
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I dunno. I would say orgasms arent the only thing to enjoy but you arleady said that. Maybe you are trying too hard instead of letting yourself go and whatever happens, happens.
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Whoa, You have changed your message while I was replying!
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Sorry about that. I just felt like I gave more information than necessary.
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I think innuedo is right you probly just need to relax, like turn on some music and get comfterble. At first for me it was easier for me to orgasm alone than with someone. Till i learned what i liked and what worked and stuff.
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To add to the posts above; don't be orgasm-centric; thinking JUST of the big 'O' is half the cause of stress during sexual acts.Just do what feels good to you, right then and there..don't worry about the orgasm. Eventually you/it will come.
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This is not something I usually confess - I started when I was little (before I had any idea what I was doing) and never really aimed at having an orgasm until recently. I'm not comfortable with letting my guy go down on me yet and I am saving sex for marriage, but I'm a pretty sexual person (an accidental tease). Thinking about sex has gotten to be pretty distracting and it's made worse by the fact that I am never satisfied. Admittedly, I haven't let my guy do much with me and it's a subject of sensitivity between us, but I've been touching myself for probably 15 years and I'm yet to ever have anything other than "that feels nice." After a weekend alone with my guy and a hot two hour phone (vibrator assisted) I am beginning to accept that hands/vibrators are not going to get me off. Maybe my clit isn't very sensitive?
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I don't have your exact age, but a good part of it still may lie with development.If your genitals show no sign of arousal (IE, becoming wet, clitoris and labia engorged with blood and swollen) then that may be something worth going to see a professional for.As for your BF, eventually you may want to try oral sex; it is a totally different feeling than any sort of masturbation. If he has a brain in his head, he'll be very gentle and slow to start off, and then crank up the pressure.To that end there is a very informative book for guys to read that will assist him on giving you pleasure (Every guy, no matter how skilled, can learn something from this book) The title is: She Comes First, by Ian Kerner.
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I'm almost 20 and I get ridiculously wet very quickly. I guess what makes it frustrating is that I'm so easily turned on. My boyfriend loves going down on girls and tells me how much he'd like to go down on me, but it's just not something I'm comfortable with right now. Even letting him touch me was a big step for me and the first time he kissed my stomach I had a full anxiety attack. I trust him and he's gentle with me, but I place more significance on physical acts than most people my age and I don't want to be at such an emotional disadvantage. I know that I'm prude...
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Sounds like you're having a hell of a lot of emotional turmoil at this point.
To be honest, having an anxiety attack because your BF touched your stomach is something unusual. I would seriously consider getting a referral to a good psychologist or counselor; there is just too much to expect to relax enough for an orgasm.
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All of what is going on is very normal... Did you read the whole posting about the female anatomy?? I know it is a long read, but it gets to the good stuff at the end... There is a purpose for the wetness, and indeed you are just getting started. I did not have my first orgasm until I was in my 30's. And I do believe a good deal of it is 'letting go'!
K
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Thank you! At least I have hope
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Have you tried visual stimulai? Like porn? Maybe it will help.
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Originally Posted By: Thatguy12345Have you tried visual stimulai? Like porn? Maybe it will help. This from a guy... (oh sheesh) OK, porn does not work as well on girls as it does on guys...