i've been emailing a counselor in where i'm studying and apparently she suggest for me to go see her personally. but i get a little freak out about seeing her because i won't know what to say. because at this moment i feel fine. and i ask a friend if i should go or not. and my friend said, this counselor will just say the same thing like other people have said. ya know, things like i have to be strong and such stuff.so i want to know, is speaking to a professional person will make a different? what's the different of talking to them then talk to others who not in that profession? i really need an answer.
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Need an advice about speaking to a counselor
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Although counsellors are not magicians who can make everything all right with a wave of a magic wand, they do have some advantages over just talking to friends (though talking to friends can be helpful): counsellors have experience, and training that distils other people's experience. They have seen things before and have some idea what generally works best.Counsellors don't usually say you have to be strong. They usually try to work with you to help you sort out what you need and what your options are. They are good at getting you to talk. It's often helpful, though, to write down on a sheet of paper any issues you'd particularly like to talk about.
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thanks Ineligible. i appreciate the opinion.
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My counselor never told me I had to be strong, she always pointed out that I was.One thing I repeated often was "I just can't cope" her response, was "but you are". Took me three flippin years to understand that!A good counselor, will help point out the strengths you already have, and will, give you tools to fix things in your life that you feel like you need to change.
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As a Therapist, I can almost assure you that if you visit this Counselor you will find that your fears are completely unfounded (though not uncommon). First of all, don't worry about not knowing what to say. Just say what you know. She will help you. On your initial visit she'll most likely do an initial assessment, which means she asks a lot of questions. There will be no lack of things to talk about.Secondly, with all due respect, ignore your friend's advice on this. Has your friend ever seen a counselor? Sounds like either they haven't, or they had a bad experience. Don't let someone else's fear or ignorance keep you from getting help.If you are dealing with depression, your friends are an important part of breaking through it. You need not only their support, but just people to pull you out and keep you active and connecting. However, asking the difference between talking to a professional and your friends is like asking the difference between going to a medical doctor for a medical problem and letting your friends look at you. The professional is what she is because she has training in a number of areas, including the nature and cure of depression.I know it's scary to think about seeing someone, but you'll be glad you did. And you deserve it.
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The problem I have with most councelors is, while some do, depending on the councelor, many have no clue about the things they try to solve. I talk about depression to a councelor, or suicidal thoughts, and a college education is not the same as having the thoughts, and knowing how to cope. They learned how to cope when it wasnt an absolute neccesity, from a proffesor, who learned it from a book. Although they mean well (Most of the time) they dont neccesarily know what you are going through. Be careful, but above all, be optimistic about them, and how it is entirely possible for them to help you. Ask them if they went through what you went through or are going through, and get a feel for how they respond.
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You are saying things that are just not fair, not to mention unwarranted. A therapist doesn't have to struggle with depression to help someone with depression any more than he would have to have had a history of crack use to help a crack addict. Do you have a Master's degree? If not, how do you know how a person with such a degree gets their education? Did you know that to be a therapist of any stripe, you have to have had a substantial amount of real life practicum experience under supervision to even get the degree and be licensed by your state to practice? It's not just book learning. But even the book learning is valuable.
When someone posts here looking for help and for encouragement about seeing a counselor, it's pretty counterproductive to say "don't bother with counselor's cause they're not depressed and all they know about it they read in a book".
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That's not all I'm saying. I am telling the person to be careful about it. Yeah, they have the regiment to go through, but from personal experience, they often don't know, some don't care even. Yeah I am sure you will say 'then why did they become a counselor' but to tell the truth, after a while, some lose interest. Also, while the 'book reading' is important way to many have never actually gone through certain things, and it's impossible for them to. There is a difference between the 'real life practium' experience they have, and knowing how it is to be, for instance, a depressed teenager living in a new school who has just lost a parent. They might understand some, but I could never unstand completely someones depression after they go through something worse than I have. I am not saying avoid them, I am merely saying they have, in my experience, an occasional tendency for the ones who don't understand you to speak out of there asses.I should have clarified this, I guess I came of saying all therapists are bad, most intend well. Just be suspicious.
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- Have you ever actually seen a therapist?2. Would you tell your friends who have cancer to not trust a doctor who has not had cancer?Discerning...yes. Suspicious...no.
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You handled that better than I wanted to!I am more worried about a counselor who HAS been through it. As a human, I am more judgmental of things I HAVE overcome, versus the things I have never been through! So, from my own perspective, I think counselors are going to be that way too.
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I believe there's a lot of truth to that.I wrote a paper a couple of years ago in which I speculated that some of the things I went through and overcame could actually make me MORE judgmental toward those who are going through the same stuff. Basically meaning that I might expect them to overcome the things in the same way I did. That would be unfortunate, and so far I haven't done that. (knock on wood...)
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leans head towards Damien Go for it!I hope that never affects you. I DO know that training plays a part in it...