Boyfriend has no money?

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Ok so today I was talking on the phone with my boyfriend and he told me he would have no money to buy me anything or do anything for our 1 yr anniversary type thing in April (it's the 18th). I just said um ok. I never expected him to get me anything big however saying he has no money for anything didn't seem very nice. I rarely ask him to pay/buy me anything, other than if we go to the movies etc (and I have payed for him before and bought him stuff too). He doesn't work however he gets an allowance and occasionally gets money for random other jobs he does, or if he sells something etc. Basically he generally has enough money for a movie, food, or for example a video game he's buying on Sunday. He also may possibly have a weekend job that I helped him find (it's not final, it won't make a lot of money, but it would give him at least $10 in his pocket). So this leads me to believe he is buying or putting his money towards something (him and his friend go in on video game deals all the time). It kind of bugs me that he never bothered putting any of his money aside to at least get me something small or card (I love cards, especially if some one writes in them etc). I have a $4,000 dog grooming class I am raising money for (I have to have the money by August), and this is a huge deal. It's very hard for me to earn $4,000 and right now I only have $600 saved. I am breeding my dog to raise money (so I need $300 for the stud fee), I also run a little online store (this hopefully will help bring in money for dog grooming, but I have to spend a lot of money first to make money). I will also be getting a job. Among those things I also have other general expenses and I'm buying my chinchilla a new cage etc. However I still made sure I had enough money for something for his birthday (April 24th) and our anniversary type thing. I set money aside, when I earned it etc. I had started thinking about it months ago. So I guess the fact that he didn't even set $5 aside for a card or didn't even bother to think about it kind of irks me. I never expected something big, because I know he doesn't work (I have been bugging him to get a job). But to say he won't even have money for a card, basically sucks.Any opinions?

by what you have said he has no mature spending habits. and in a relationship, it is one aspect that affects the dynamic of the relationship. well, talk to him about it. communicate.

from what you say it sounds like he needs to pay more attention to your needs, however this is only your side of the story.

If you are thinking that at some future time you might be living with this guy, this is a big warning sign. A lot of unhappiness can come from money issues, and people who spend all their money as soon as they get it are big trouble, the more so if they only spend it on themselves. And he doesn't seem keen on working. I don't get a good impression at all.BTW, I hope that dog grooming class is a whole lot of classes, for that money.

Originally Posted By: IneligibleIf you are thinking that at some future time you might be living with this guy, this is a big warning sign. A lot of unhappiness can come from money issues, and people who spend all their money as soon as they get it are big trouble, the more so if they only spend it on themselves. And he doesn't seem keen on working. I don't get a good impression at all. In my opinion he is foolish with his money and does not manage it well. I obviously am not the best at keeping money (I still have much to learn, since I'm young), but in general I manage it fairly well. Him on the other hand never saves any of it, always wastes it on junk food (trips to Plaid Pantry all the time etc). Money tends to go quickly when you're making trips to Plaid all the time. Other than that he's pretty cheap with his money, he doesn't like spending it, unless it's something he really wants.Quote:BTW, I hope that dog grooming class is a whole lot of classes, for that money.The dog grooming is a little steep, especially because I am not doing it as a career but just something to while going to college etc. However that's pretty much what it costs anywhere. There are no other dog grooming schools around my area. I'd have to get an apprenticeship/internship etc and then I would not get a license. A license is not required but when looking for jobs etc, it's better to have one. I almost had an internship, however it fell through. They are not very common. I have a huge interest in dog grooming etc. Anything to do with animals. I chose this over being a vet tech during college, because eventually I'd like to run my own business after college etc, and I could have a dog grooming one. Quote:If he loves you and knows how much this means to you, he should be able to squirrel away a few bucks to spend on his honey!if he doesn't...I see a "red flag" here.If he's in San Diego and needs a job, I could put him to work....Haha yeah he needs some one to put him to work. He really is not very motivated to work. The only reason he's sort of looking for a job now is because he wants $700 to upgrade his computer... I am a very motivated person, I have many goals, I am a planner. I love to work etc. So I do see this being a problem if we were to live together or eventually get married etc. Which is why, for now I'm in high school and I will enjoy it. I see huge potential in him, he is very intelligent. Unless he puts it to use though, he'll amount to nothing. For now I will support him in what he does and try to push him and help motivate him. (Some people just need that extra push). However I will not be dating some one with no motivation etc, outside of high school. That just won't work for me.It does mean a lot to me. I'm very excited about it. I never expected to actually date some one for a whole year. So I think a card at least would be nice.

As an older woman that was married to a man that was very inresposible with financial issues, I know what you are feeling and going through. My ex-husband also never seemed to have money to offer me a "little something" I know what you mean about "putting money aside for a gift" I never even saw a card in all the time we were going together or afterwards when we were married. I also didn't expect much as gifts go, but like you a card would have meant a lot to me ! There were countless times when I supported him and our kids ! He always found money for his hobbies and to hang around with his buddies. It took me a while to realize that I deserved better then that ! I just hope it doesn't take you all the time it took me to realize that we as responsible women deserve much better then some jerks are able to give us ! I agree that money is not everything in a relationship, but what is important is the effort put into it ! I don't see much effort from your bf's side. Sorry, I might not know the whole story or much about your relationship. But all I know for sure is that money is the number 1 reason for a relationship to fall apart ! Good luck, You are still young and learning but you seem to be a very smart responsible young woman and you don't seem to be afraid of work ! You deserve better !

maybe he's just saying this to make the surprise seem so much better?

If you want to pay me 80k a year, Ill be down to start work for you next week.

Originally Posted By: Greywolf

maybe he's just saying this to make the surprise seem so much better?

As sweet as that would be lol, I know he's not. He actually is broke.

Originally Posted By: GrvtykllrIf you want to pay me 80k a year, Ill be down to start work for you next week. Hehe. If only I had that kind of money

I wish I did, but thats what it would take for me to live in San Diego as well as I live in Utah now.For about 60K I could live like I do now in Washington so long as I stay a bit outside the puget sound.

Thats why I siad if your paying 80k a year Ill be down next week If I made 80 there and Julz were making atleast 40, that seems pretty easy to do with her shit, atleast based on the current openings in San Diego.If I had that set up, shit If I coud get hooke dup for 60 and her on atleast 40 to start Id be in fucking Cali real soon.

Moonlight, there's a big chance he's just saying this to throw you off then suprise you with something on the day! Especially if it's not like him or you 'know' he's broke... That all adds to it, wait and see!