Alright, let me just first give a little background information. I am a 16-year-old male sophomore, about 5 feet, 8 inches and only around 120 pounds that has not had a girlfriend yet. Basically, in Middle School, I felt that the "dating" at that point was literally nothing of importance because they were most likely short little relationships that wouldn't amount to anything. Right now, I agree with that to some extent except for the fact that I see a benefit of it being that you gain confidence and a restricted amount of confidence in the sense of being able to talk to girls with more ease. Then, when I started High School in a place where I only knew 6 people from my school, one of which I was best friends with (still kindof am, slightly more difficult to be real friends with him when we don't have classes together) and the other who was in the "group" that I was in when I was in Middle School. I used to have another best friend who I hung out with more out of school that didn't go to the school I went to but we met in Karate many years ago, had the same name, and maintained contact when he left that dojo. We aren't friends now because he stole 200 dollars from my room and won't own up to that fact (even though his family doesn't have much money, that still doesn't give reason in my eyes to steal from a friend), but that's not too relevant. This year I have more friends/friendly acquaintances than I did last year that fit in a fairly wide spectrum, from some asian "geeks" in my highly advanced math class to more laid back people that are more into sports than I am, but I can talk about Pro Basketball with some of them. This is good in the fact that I have boosted my fairly low school friend count to roughly 12 friends and 16 friendly acquaintances. But the problem is my shyness around girls.Last year, there was a girl I was fairly good friends with but when we didn't have any classes together this year, we don't really see each other any more. This year, there are two girls I am kindof friends with, but beyond that I'm not really interested in being with a real relationship with them, I guess you could say they're not my type. What I really need help with is tips on how to make it easier for me to talk with girls in my classes, especially when they're all year-round classes and they probably already have their ideas on me, don't know, though.This is a different topic than the above. For nearly eight years, I have done Karate. No one there I know goes to my school, but I'm pretty good friends with most of the people my age in the class (Adult class). There's one girl in the class who I've known there for roughly four to five years. I'd really like to get to know her more and maybe get into a relationship with her, but there are quite a few problems. The first being that I've known her for quite a while, so it could potentially be odd (not too much of a problem, though). The second and third are that she goes to a different school and is a junior, a year older than I am. It just might seem kindof odd in my opinion (primarily to her, possibly, or other people). The fourth is that it would be awkward to be in the same karate class as a person that you are in a relationship with. The fifth and probably most difficult current situation is that I am not doing classes for about 3 months because I will be on vacation during the testing for one of the ranks towards obtaining my second-degree black belt that under no circumstances can be made up (which is BS in my opinion, especially if you can inform them 2+ months in advance). What are other people's opinions on these problems? I could perhaps still do classes this module, but I would have to think about that. Also, I kindof have a plan that I would hope to implement once I get back. That is basically trying to talk to her more in the time before class, except I wouldn't really know what to start with, especially on the first conversation. Maybe I can ask what she's going to do this summer or something, but this is fairly far in the future. Thanks for taking the time to read the longest post I have ever made on a forum in probably 2+ years.
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Possible Sequence of Questions
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Welcome to A2A, Cider.Quote:What I really need help with is tips on how to make it easier for me to talk with girls in my classes . . .I think a good start is to get some practice talking to girls first just as people and potential ordinary friends, rather than as potential girlfriends. That will help remove some of the mystique and nervousness.Quote:. . . there are quite a few problems. The first being that I've known her for quite a while, so it could potentially be odd . . .Actually it's not odd to see an old friend or acquaintance in a new light. Getting her to see you in a new light can be difficult, but there's nothing wrong in trying. The awkwardness comes if the attempt fails - can you still be friends, and will it matter? But I don't think that's sufficient reason for not trying. Many successful relationships have been between people who knew each other for quite a long time before they started going out.Quote:The second and third are that she goes to a different school and is a junior, a year older than I am. It just might seem kind of odd in my opinion . . .A different school means you won't see each other daily, but some would see that as an advantage. A year's difference (the wrong way) is a disadvantage, but not a big one.Quote:The fourth is that it would be awkward to be in the same karate class as a person that you are in a relationship with.It's less awkward than sharing a school class, which many do. I work with my wife, and it works quite well.Quote:The fifth and probably most difficult current situation is that I am not doing classes for about 3 months because I will be on vacation during the testing . . .Educational classes generally expect you to organise your vacations to fit them, not the other way round. They can hardly afford to put on special classes just for you. But if you are going to have a relationship, of course you'll want to make sure you arrange to see her regularly outside of class times anyway.
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I don't see how sharing a karate class would be less awkward than sharing a school class. In a school class you'd be around people your age and in a karate class there are people twice our age.There's no way we could even change the vacation dates because it's a group vacation that has the dates decided by a national association. Even if we could change the dates, it would mess all the other groups going (I'm going, not my family).
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In a class you need to be primarily concentrating on the teaching, so you have to put the cuddling, etc, you'd like to do on hold. I suggested the karate class would be less awkward because it's less often than school classes.
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I'm thinking it would make sense to at least do one class each week and I think she usually does the Wednesday classes but not the Monday classes because she teaches one of the youth classes right before the Monday class, but not entirely sure. But there was a pretty long gap between when I last saw her and recently, and I didn't see her all that much in that short span, so I'm not really sure how I'd start a conversation at first >.>