I need help

---

I don't know what to do anymore. Ok first let me start off with a story that's not the case of it because the problem was before it, but certainly doesn't help.

Ok First, I had sex with my new girlfriend, I made sure it was protected, and hell for extra protection I made sure I didn't ejaculate in her. But then my ex who I still really care about got really really hurt because I said sex with my girlfriend.

Going on about how she loved me and thought I was the 1 person who truly understood her. But for the past 7 months I begged her to come back practically she refused, every time she broke up with this guy she won't seem to get rid of she starts talking about how much she likes 4 other guys. And when she's with this guy she won't seem to get rid of completely she treats me like shit stops talking to me stops listening acts like a real bitch.

But now I feel bad because I hurt her really really badly. And I don't know what to do about that.

Now on to my other problem. I can't seem to find happiness at all and I don't understand why, I have everything anyone my age could ask for.

I have my own room, hell I have my own house. I have my own top of the line computer, I have a Car and a Truck for when I turn 16, I have game consols and plenty of games, I have a girlfriend that cares about me and that I can have sex with whenever(When she's with me anyway) and I don't have to worry about having sex with allot or she'll leave because I'm not satisfieing her enough. I live with both my parents who are still together. I have friends, I have social groups. I have homeschool that I can do as much as I want to when I want to. But still I'm not happy like at all.

And truth be told, while I do care allot about my girlfriend, I love my ex. Is it really possible that I'm unhappy all the time because I can't be with her? I mean after all this stuff I have, is she really the source that would make me happy. Because I use to be really happy all the time when I was with her and I almost killed myself when she left.

I just I don't know, I could understand not having the girl I love with me bum me out deep down inside, but I'm completely unhappy. in like every way. the only times I was actually happy was when I was with my new gf, and even then deep down inside I was still depressed, but now that she's not around atm, I'm completely in every way unhappy. and I have NO reason to be.

FallenLight, it sounds like your ex can't let go, and it sounds like you can't either. That's unhealthy for both of you, and unfair on your present partners. You both need to move on.There's not much you can do to change your ex's attitude, but you can change your own. Let her go, leave her be, don't try to turn back the clock because it doesn't work. Stop talking to her! It just prolongs your pain. It's her problem if she won't let go - she broke up with you. You are not responsible for her problems, and you are not to stay unatttached in case some day she wants you, or in memory of a relationship that is now over.

From personal experience Ineligible is right. You have to move on and stop hurting yourself and your new partners.

I think your biggest challenge, as I see it, is this pursuit of happiness.First of all, we weren't meant to be happy all the time. If we were, we wouldn't be humans, we'd be game show hosts. I think one of the most dangerous myths of our time is that we should be happy all the time. This may not make sense, but how about searching for joy, not happiness. Joy is something that lasts and exists even when you're sad, mad, scared, whatever.Secondly, and this is another too-common problem with those of us born after 1965 or so, one of the things that might be making you so miserable is that you seem to be caught up in what makes YOU happy. Bono (the wisest, coolest man in the world...next to Bob) said 'Humanity is diminished when our greatest mission is ourselves.' Try pursuing something outside of yourself...someone else's happiness. Hook up with Habitat for Humanity or some other group that serves people who don't have all the cool stuff you have. And before someone makes you feel guilty for having a lot of stuff...having a lot can be a real gift if you use it to serve someone other than yourself.Good luck.

You may be partially depressed with this whole situation with your ex. To tell you the truth she sounds like poison and you need to get away from her A.S.A.P this cannot be saved she is playing with you, you can't make progress in relationships btu she can? Truth be told shes actually jealous, you need to forget about her, and pay more attention to your friends, family and girlfriend, those who ACTUALLY care for you.Your in a tough spot and it probably feels like it wont go away, but it will eventually.