Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

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Ok, i finally got the balls to go ahead and ask a girl what she thought of me because she messes with my head way too much since i told her i liked her. Ive been her freind since the beginning of my senior year (August). Well, turns out that she thinks i am "a really nice nice nice guy" and that she hasnt gotten over her boyfreind,who sells cocaine and weed and treats her like complete shit, and doesnt want anything with any guy. I have been there to listen to her problems and i always tried to be a good listener. That is truly the type of person i am, a caring person who tries to help anyone who need the help. I've even been more like this since i was in a car accident in which the car flipped three times and i got thrown out of it while my father got thrown out too and died. I have been trying to be a guy that anyone needs a shoulder to cry on because no one was there for me when that happened. Well, after that stuff happened thats when i saw this girl and she was beautiful and she broke up with her boyfriend who, like i said earlier, treated her like shit. I just want to know why the nice guys never get the girl and get picked on by what feels like the entire world. Sorry for the long post. Im not even sure this stuff makes sense cuz i have so much shit in my head right now.

Hate to say it, but you're a cuddle bitch - google it.

Yah man to be honest you are a cuddle bitch... and it sounds like maybe the Ex is the fuck buddy... the cuddle bitch and the fuck buddy are arch enemies lol.. and as crazy as it sounds... probably about 85% if the time... nice guys do finish last...for example.. a good friend of mine who is a women.... was talking to these two guys... both good lookin and all that stuff... and she ended up picking the one who wasnt as nice as the other one... thats exactly wut she told me that the nice guy was perfect.. but just to nice.

Well, it seems obvious that Nice Guys Finish Last because Bad Guys Finish First. I guess "bad guys" have more self confidence and attract girls easier. Girls don't know what they want. They think they want a sensitive guy who's smart, funny and all that smit but they pick the craziest person they can find.Now what to do with that girl? Give her some time, definitely, and wait for her to get back on track. She may not want to be your girlfriend YET, but you can make a very good friend out of her, and if things go right, you 'll be bf and gf in no time....Good Luck!

Men seem to have this wrong on so many levels. They think they have to be the bad boy to get the girl and if they aren't the bad boy then their doormats for any jackbooted female who comes along.

Come on guys, use a little intellect and you might get the chance to put your dick to a little more use.

You don't have to be an ass.

You can be nice and still aloof. You can be amiable and still mysterious. You can be complementary while maintaining a cool dignity. You can be inviting even with a menacing air. Can guys just no longer project an, "I like you but certainly don't need you" air about themselves, it's not that hard.

Get a little... fuck that. Get a lot of self respect.

Think about how you present yourself and what it says about you.
Think about how you stand and what it says about you.
Think about how you walk and what it says about you.
Think about how you look (with your eyes) at someone and what it says about you.
Think about how you talk and what it says about you.

How are you presenting yourself as a doormat or as a challenge? Who wants to date a doormat?

You can present yourself with a laid-back aloofness, almost haughty detachment and be a nice guy still providing enough mystery to peak the interest of the object of your desires. You'll go farther with that than trying to be a dick or whining about finishing last.

I wasnt going around saying that Guys should be a complete ass... but you are totally right... let your opposite know that you like them but they dont ''have'' you... that works TRUST me on that one.

Right...Iknow how you feel (about the girl thing) But i sorted this out myself.#1 Im guessing you make yourself available when she needs you...DON'T. It's like your a puppy, she'll remember you when she's bored/needs comfort...then fucks off.#2 You've probably gotten too close. Most girls i know don't get attracted to people they see as close friends.#3 You probably are too nice.. Some would never admit it, but most girls like bread with the crust (in other words..guys with a bit of ''roughness').That's what i learnt from a previous experience. Might not be true for you though

Heres the thing. Girls LOVE having a close guy friend. Because when you hav a guy friend like that.. its comforting.. more of a comfort than having a close girl friend.When a girl is hooked on a guy.. she can't just let him go.. she doesnt see him as a guy who sells drugs or treats her like shit.. she see's him as the guy who she loves.. the one she thinks is good for her.. Don't let this girl get you down.. cause its hard for her just to give up on the guy she cares about.. trust me.. being the girl whos gone through this.. and had a guy just like you around to make me feel better.. I know what its like. You'll get your chance someday.. just wait.

I wrote about a page of crap on this topic but i decided just to copy and paste it from a website coz i was ranting..."The debate of "nice guys vs. jerks" has been raging for quite a long time. The nature of being a "nice guy", however, is commonly misunderstood. It is believed that being polite, considerate, friendly, tender, romantic, etc. is what being a "nice guy" is all about and thus those qualities should be avoided, as it is the "jerk", the rude, the inconsiderate, the impolite, the rough guy who always gets the girl while the "nice guy" is waiting outside in the pouring rain with flowers in his hand.It doesn't mean that women prefer rude over polite, inconsiderate over considerate, etc. It all becomes clear when we look at a very important issue often overlooked when trying to define what makes the "jerks" beat the "nice guys" when it comes to getting the girls. It is sexuality - the "jerks" are not afraid to show that they are sexual beings, while the "nice guys" hide their sexuality as a part of their agenda of being friendly, polite, and courteous towards women."Should help you sort yourself out.

To add to what Max posted, nice guys also tend to let things go where they should really stand up for themselves. For example, you're talking to a girl and she says she'll definitely call you tomorrow. The next day, nothing. The next time you see her or talk to her on the phone she says she's sorry. Most nice guys would respond, "that's okay etc." Be honest. You were disappointed you two didn't get to hang out, so say it. Something like, "I was a little disappointed, but you can make it up to me later if you want to."

Yo! look!if you are looking to be dominated for martyrdom or sainthood, let me tell you, you are going to be a doormat for everyone to step on you. this is not about being rude, but the more essential things are, the least they are appreaciated, and taken granted for they are! that is the truth. stop being mother teresa, and get what you WANT. not what someone's else wants. and you will see yourself in the other side of the playing field. people don't give a damn about nice guys, nor do you listen to what girls say to you, they simply want someone that is confident, and that will simply take them by the arm. women suffer from low self esteem more than men, so they are just waiting for that ASSERTIVE guy. when you ask them in the face what they want, they will tell you that they want a nice, sensitive, and blah blah blah, it is all BS! don't listen to what your mom has said to you, simply do the opposite!stop being the cuddle bitch, and change your approach, unless you enjoy being a doormat, in that case, could you loan me five thousand bucks? i need to buy a car......

let me rephase it to you, you have had a cuddle bitch.....yet you haven't never seen him as someone that could love you because he isn't as assertive as the other jackasses?

don't be sorry, be glad that you are showing light to another lost soul.

r u retarded? nice guys finish last cause girls are not attracted to guys that put them on a pedestal. the same way that you are not attracted to ugly girls, girls are not attracted to nice guys. now the important thing is to know the difference between a nice guy and a great guy.a nice guys is someone who gives girls all the attention, asks her about her day, and cares for all her feelings. FUCK that dude, she has her girlfriends for that. a jerk is someone who treats girls like shit, but has the confidence, and self assurance that girls are attracted to.you don't wan tot be this either.what you want to be is a great guy, the mix of the nice guy and jerk. you do this by respecting her, and show her that you don't need her. girls hate guys that are needy, they are the ones that need you! be confident, and always let her know that you have tons of other girls that want you. (the concept of supply and demand) do not put her on a pedestal, in fact, it should be the other way around. she should be chasing after you. aproach girls as if you are the prize, always keep in mind that they secretly want you. this will help you greatly in conversation.so basically, why are girls not attracted to nice guys? it's the same reason why guys aren't attracted to ugly girls..... sad but true

Wow.

Wow.

When I met my boyfriend... I wasn't ready to let go.. I had been seeing guys because I wasnt ready to commit because of the last jackass who broke my heart.

When me and josh first started hanging out.. I was pretty much ready to date this guy.. He was great. Hot, "assertive", tough and a bad ass. Then josh walked into the picture.. and it's like everything changed for me. He was a nice, shy, gentleman! And I turned down the bad guy for the good guy.

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yet you haven't never seen him as someone that could love you because he isn't as assertive as the other jackasses?

Just because somebody likes you.. doesnt mean you have to like them back.

Nice guys don't finish last.. door mats do.You can be nice.. and still have all the qualities to attract a girl.You just can't be an emotional tampon.

I think you need some experience before you start ranting.
First off I am the bad bod, the long hair, the leather jackets, motor cycles, scars, out drink out smoke, always ready to fight, been in trouble wiht the law, wear sunglasses at fucking night, carry a gun and two knifes fucking bad bod.
I stopped whoring around a few years back. I have on girl who I put on a pedastal, one that I take care of, always tell her how pretty she is, how smart she is and reinforce those ideas in her head. Its nto about shitting on the girl, its about being confident. Girls like bad boys, chics dig scars, all tru enoug hin my experience, and its worked for me, but I never treated any of them like shit. I told several that we could have all teh sex they wanted but I was nota BF, I intended to fuck other girls and didnt care what they did when not with me, they are th ones that fell in love when I told them there would be none. ( it worked as prolly the greatest pick up line I ever found, I dont kno wif it was the honesty or the challenge of "getting" me on a more permenant basis but it worked well)
But I never did shit on them either. I never hit them or talked to them like they were trash.
The forula I found for meaningless sex was honesty, and treat a lady like w hore and a whore like a lady.
As to being with one girl, and not to mention Im older, I dont have to play the bullshti childish games of high school, I treat her very well, in all the time we have been together I have yet to weven yell at her or talk down to her. You dont treat someone you love like a piece of fucking meat or some trash you pulled out of the gutter.
She treats me the same.
We have had a few arguments and fights but they never got past being pissed and talking. No yelling, no screaming, no yelling and no physical violence.
you do not have to be a fucking dick to a girl to get her.
You have the wrong ideas in your head.

I jsut noticed two things.
1. the post I replyed to was currently sitting at 420, with your attitude Id say you have to be smoking dope.
2. approach her like your the prize and it helps in conversation?
Jesus fuck, your no prize, your a human and would like to be treated with respect, so would she. you are no more a prize than she is.
You have all of yuor info fucked up and wrong. you seriously need to reasses your thoughts on this because you are so far off base its not even funny.
Keep in mind Iv had more girls than Id dare to say most people on this baord, and probaly more than if you started adding people here together. Include blow jobs and that number nearly doubles. Include dates that I decided I wanted out or they did and that number sky rockets.
I have fucking triple digits son in just sex, and never once did I treat any of those girls like shit or like they were sub human or I was some great fucking prize

hi guys about this subject i think that the "bad" guys have better chances with girls because specially of their social character well they now what this girls wants and this basing on their experience well I'm not a social guy myself but i love watching people evolving it's very interesting and it also helps in your social life but i have one big problem I still don't trust girls at all I even one pretty girl because i though that she was just making fun of me well I'm 19 and I'm a nice guy but i can be really cold with girls sometimes specially when they try to make fun of me

This topic is over 8 months old.

Welcome to A2A, mjito. Don't be afraid to start a new thread.It sounds like you have problems with self-confidence - when you don't have much confidence in yourself you can think people are laughing at you when they aren't doing that at all.Have girls made fun of you in the past?