Again? * sigh *

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Another round of depression? Last week or so havn't really cared if i make it to class or not..then these last few days.. I have been real down.. Thoughts of sucide are coming back.. Is it just the holidays or is it another round? I think i might have known what triggered it.. Remeber that girl i liked? Well...she told me know cause she was in love with some movie star Brittish guy..Well Friday.. ( I was already going down hill, But wasn't that bad ) .. I saw her hug some guy.. I don't know if there going out.. or what.. When i saw that.. For some reason ( I know i dont own her.. but still you know ) .. I just got super pissed off... Its like hey.. F\*ck you.. you know..Am i going to go through this every couple of months? for the rest of my life? ( If i continue to ask the same questions..Sorry..This is more of a vent.. ) ..I honestly don't know what i would do without this website.. I wouldn't really have anywhere to vent.. I think i have vented enough for this evening.. I was good for like the last month or so..then i kinda got a little down cause the holidays..but i was like what ever..then over weekend..started going farther down hill.. Thanks for reading..

Have you spoken with a doctor or tried medication?

I don't really trust doctors.. nor there medicene.. I have had trouble with both in the past..so yeah..

well maybe you need to find the right doctor....

Nope..Never took any meds.. I just kinda come in and out of it..

not to be rude, but if you won't see a doctor and won't take your meds, what are you complaining about?

Well some people just need to talk about it and complain to those that will listen. Personally I dont agree with medication and doctors for the most part, so if I were going through a bought of depression and it was serious enough for a doctor to talk to me and he prescribed me pilled i would still have people listen to me even if i have decided not to endorse this doctors method of prescriping me a drug to play with my emotions.

yeah but its not like we can help him out any better than him seeking professional help on his own... if a doctor felt meds were necessary he should take them, or get a second opinion before stopping them.

Posting it helps me deal with it.. It just to get it off my chest.. then i feel a little better.. Thats what i like about this place.. I cant vent.. Get it off my chest....No one knows me here..so i can really talk about how i feel..

do yourself a favor, seek a second opinion from a doctor before discontinuing/not taking medicine prescribed to you for depression. and if the second doctor deems meds unnecessary, ask him for other ways to cope with your depression.

I understand how you feel, FaBMX.But do consider medication, if your doctor thinks you should. It's worth it, to feel normal.

over anything else, girls have been the thing that have messed me up the most. I guess for anyone it can be whoever they are attracted to. It makes you feel unappreciated and useless when someone you really care about decides to turn their back on you. In any case, hang in there and a good person will come along and let you know you are appreciated and alive. As for the ones in the past that turned their back on you, it's their loss.

i totaly agree, i work a full time job just so i can simply keep myself alive just to work a full time job. long history of bullshit in my life and it will never stop. all i could think about today was either blowing my head off with my shotgun, or teaching EVERYONE a lesson and then going to prison for life. think about it, that is the only real way to end the bullshit. probaly the first real post i ever made on here.

I have never seen a doctor about my depression issues.. IT was other things.. When i was little i had ear problems( got alot ear affections ) and the guy presribed me some stuff.. it totaly sucked.. ( taste ) then i go back..he is like.. oh that was the wrong stuff..sorry.. Then i had some in grown toe nails.. I went to my regular doctor..she gave me some pills..and she is like this should help.. then i go back.. not working..then she cuts the skin out.. and after a few round of this ..she sends me to a speacilst( SP? ) It was a podatrist.. he is like WTF was she doing? ...So..thats why i dont like em'

don't trust doctors. i got labeled as a bi polar because i had constant mood swings and i was medicated for teh majority of my life. it turns out my mom is a fucking psycho and her mood swings directly effected my mood (who would have thought, a parent having influence on a kid. no...) and i was mis medicated and trhown through community programs because of it. and the kicker is if i murder everyone it would i come full circle and 'prove' them wrong. i wish i was in the taliban

Want to start a mafia I dont have a problem with death.. LOL..

Doctors put me on the wrong treatment for Crohns disease. But I went back, they figured out what they did wrong, and everything is going well now. It was the general doctor that screwed up and it was the specialist who corrected his mistake. If you see a specialist again, I'm sure you'll be ok.