I really can't describe how I ended so depressed and sad the last few days (about a month), but I have only some questions to ask.1) Is it better to carry your guilts on your heart instead on your shoulders? What would you say if most of these guilts would sound insane to any others?2) Can you stand sitting on a throne and doing nothing, when everyone else is standing up and working? Can you stand watching people around you suffering, when you're in a totally different situation? Can you stand being so different, even if we're talking about a short period (1 year)? You ended in this position by luck and you feel that you really don't worth it.3) Would you help someone else by sacrificing yourself?Lately I've really confused logic and ethics. My family consider most of my thoughts ridiculous, as every logical man. But I can't escape from them and I'm in this position for many months. As a result, my mood looks like a shipwreck, sinking even deeper into the darkest depths.I'm not expecting from anyone to answer these silly questions, since you don't know anything about my situation. I know I have to face things by myself. But, I thought this post would be interesting.
I don't think these are silly questions at all. I do worry about answering them, though, because we don't know the full story, and there may be information that is specific to your situation that we don't know but would make a big difference. For example, if you propose taking some particular unexpected action, it may have effects on more than just the issues you are thinking of.
1\. I think it depends very much on the guilt, and what the consequences of telling it may be. While it's usually a good thing to ask the opinions of other people you trust, so you get opinions from people who can see the issue from a distance, occasionally to tell someone is to impose a burden on them that should not be imposed. And if the guilt seems insane, what would be the consequences of that?
2\. "They also serve who only stand and wait" said Milton. Reserves are important and necessary. Is sitting on a throne better than the alternative? What _is_ the alternative? An empty throne, or a throne filled by someone else? Usually, occupants of thrones are expected to do more than sit in them. They are expected to use their position in some way, making decisions or directing or organising or keeping up morale or something. Thrones are not usually sinecures, but hard work.
Most people in new jobs feel at first that they don't deserve it or aren't up to it. Sometimes, of course, they are right - but generally, the more they feel it, the less right it is.
Can you use you position to make life better for those suffering? Can you suffer with them on the throne?
3\. Yes - but it needs consideration of all the effects. Will you be sacrificing others along with yourself? Will there be a nett good?
Originally Posted By: IneligibleFor example, if you propose taking some particular unexpected action, it may have effects on more than just the issues you are thinking of.This is the reason things are so complicated and uncertain. Nothing depends on me and I feel I cannot do anything about it. But the situation is getting even worse and disturbing for me. My guilts are growing even bigger day by day, and I can't stop thinking about them, even if I have found thousand explanations and excuses.Originally Posted By: Ineligible1. I think it depends very much on the guilt, and what the consequences of telling it may be.It's the guilt about my second question. I feel guilty, when I sit and do nothing, while others around me are working hard. For this reason, no one respects me and I cannot respect even myself. Maybe it's not my fault I ended like this. Other guys would have a bright smile, if they had my position. But, I prefer to stay closer to my ethics than my own butt. I'd surely give my position to someone who really needs it than me. I don't deserve such a good treatment.Originally Posted By: IneligibleCan you suffer with them on the throne?It's a throne. The king can sympathize with their suffer, but he can never feel it or understand it. This is the most tragic thing. I always try to help other people by talking to them, but I really cannot understand what they've been through. This is the reason I feel like a ghost in there. I cannot be there with others and I cannot let myself or they don't let me to discuss with them. My thoughts and their opinion about me turn conversations into diplomacy.Originally Posted By: Ineligible3. Yes - but it needs consideration of all the effects. Will you be sacrificing others along with yourself? Will there be a nett good? Actually, I don't have any rights to do anything. I just have to shut up and stay discreet. I just have to enjoy my life, without others noticing me. But I cannot follow this thing and I cannot enjoy my life this way. In the end, I'm not such a bad person.It's sad I can't explain the situation, but I gave some hints. My only wish is to leave as soon as possible this place, but I can't. I have to suffer this situation for a very long time, and I really don't know how I will end there.
Wish we were sitting in a coffee shop over a cup of yerba matte. You would be good for hours of good discussion over all this.
Lately, I'm avoiding friends/relatives. My friends would barely understand me and I'd only succeed to fill their mind with my sorrow. I've already confused my family with my troubles and I regret it.Thanks for the compliment, but If I was good at discussions, I wouldn't end like this.