I need some help

PepsiChaser

There will be a day. But if you ever need a call, let me know too silly. I have offered. I CAN get these stupid phone cards, there a penny a minute, but sometimes they cut you off after like 20 mins. lol.You can talk to your mom, and others that are there, try to talk to them when you FIRST start feeling down. Maybe you can get help through it before you get to the point where your hurting yourself.Or take Helms or whoever up on their offers for calls.hugs

thepouncer

I only read the first part, I have to leave soon so i'll drop my reply hereI used to be a selfharmer, I felt crap about life, my best friend commit suicide, and quite frankly, for me it was the only way to relieve my stress. I knew what I was doing wasnt all that healthy, but I talked to my best friend about it. We talked, for over 5 hours straight about life, and such stuff, and he made me realize that eventhough life doesn't always look that good, harming yourself wont make it better. I didn't stop immediatly after that, I promised him I would stop, but I broke my promise ,and for 2 weeks after that i almost cut myself daily. Around autumn break I talked to him about the same subject again, and confessed that I had broke the promise I made with him. The talk with him made me want to stop it, right there, and I never cut myself after that day.Till yesterday, I woke up this morning, and my bedsheet was covered in blood, there was tissues red of blood in my room and my wrist had several new scars and was also soaked in blood. The thing is tho, I can't remember a SINGLE minute of yesterday night, which is the time it MUST have happened. I even went to my best friend that night, we just watched a movie had fun, and quite frankly, I have never felt that "good" in my life.Story short is, i still harm myself, i'm going into counselling at school (or however you spell it), to see if that helps. I'm not really one that gives a flying fuck about my life, if i'd die tomorrow, i wouldnt mind, i'd give my life for any of my friends, i want them to live happy more than myself to feel happy, so I never really bothered doing that much about myself~edit: I read further and there were somethings which you, and java said, which I recognized in myself. You say it's not something you think about, it's like snapping your fingers, the same goes for me, I cut myself. What I tried to do, is trying to avoid any sharp things as MUCH as possible, i didn't cut myself for over 6 months, eventhough I had urges to do it, but there just wern't any sharp things around which I could use, none. Making it harder to get the sharp objects, also takes away the "snapping ur fingers" idea, cause instead of grabbing the knife next to you, and cutting yourself, it requires thought, and this is what helped for me for a while, since in the time i went looking for something to cut with, i thought, what the hell am i doing. I always hated how my arms looked after I cut them, I actually love scars, but after cutting myself i started to hate scars on arms. The scars from when I started cutting aren't going ayway anymore, but if you try to think before cutting, and think about what you're doing, and remember that you will mutilate your body in a way you do not want it to be, that could maybe help you and stop you from cutting.I hope this was of any help >_>

CR125

i'm not worried abotu dieing. i wish it one alot. b4 i did wut i did .. it was liek weeks b4. me and my dad were working on a truck and jumping another tuck off and messign around with the battery and he had the two connect to one truck and i was holdign the other two and i clnaged them togeather. sparks whent fling and my dad turned and asked me if i was trying to kill myself. i was just like yes. and he was ..idk.. so surprised or in shoke he was speachless. then he grounded me and my parents put me on suicide watch. when they do that i can't drive alone, i can't stay at home by myself or even ride my dirtbike. mom buys 200s bottels cuz she don;t want can in the house..why cuz i'm not stupid (ok i am but..) well dough if u cut a can into it will ripp u up. acually whiel i;m sittinghere i can iamgine all the little sharp shit that's inside the tv remote... i can't even take a shit without some one knocking on the door asking me if i'm ok.
i had told shannon ..just out of the blue. just told her i didn't want to die and left her spechless and hten she was liek i don't want u to either. but i do but i don't but i do.. it;s all confusing. too confusing.. i'm so tired of everything i'm just ready to give up.
i've asked my mom if they would let me die. got put on watch again..

i just been cring had to pull myself together so i can fish this so i can go lay down but i don;t want too. i feel liek i;m too big and old to be crurlign up in bed crign liek a fucking baby over shit. my head is like i dk.. i can look back and remeeber the fun shit from last weekend last week this past weekend at the lake but when i got home the shit started hitting me and and driving me nuts. all cuz od f some stuid thing shannons relitive said. ..i'm just so tired of it all.