I have been depressed since i was little. Im going on 16. I think about killing myself every second i have been to therepy and pills and shit but it dosent take the shit that i have away.
When i was 1 I almost died from rare bacteria behind my eye twice I had suergery and I have Add and post tramatic stress from it ever since i have night terrors these are not just bad dreams this is so much deeper and they went away when i was aroud 12 but at times of great stress i still have them . I have always had problems with any thing that could go wrong when i was 13 i was molested by my cousin I have tried my best to push that out it happend for almost a year and he was my only friend . I have just two much shit to type. I have poped pills smoked pot cut myself drank and i smoke since i was 13. I have a girlfriend and all i have is shit with her. My mom is sick and in pain every day so i am constantlty treated like shit by her and my dad might as well not even be around he just treats me like im fucking worthless. and I see no hope in my future i just think it well always be hell and I will just be a failure. I think about killing myself everyday and every second and i dont know what to do can anyone give me any advice or words to help me.
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Suicide?
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sounds a lot like my life...sex releases endorphins which make you happy so start fucking a whole lot....
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Hi Freddie, that's a horrible start to life. As you know, most people don't have to deal with anything like a quarter of what you have dealt with. From that we can deduce two things:1. You have done extremely well to have endured so much.2. Life isn't always like this, and it will get better. I can't promise you that the rest will be really easy because you have had all your bad stuff already, because it doesn't work that way. But it will be better, and you will get a chance to have fun and discover enjoyable things in life. And you will have the opportunity to be of service to other people, too.
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Thank you so much for what you have said.
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Freddie, I'm going to give you a little different advice, but take it from someone who knows:It will get better. Yes, it will. However, that doesn't mean it's going to be easy. Just always remember: What goes up, must come down. Unfortunately, when life goes down it seems 10x worse than when it goes up (think of this: when you are sick with a cold, you feel like shit, and it bothers you. But what about the 350 days of the year when you AREN'T sick with a cold? No one really notices those like they do the bad days)Just do your best. Do what you think is right, but don't do stupid shit. If you do, don't worry about it to much (what's done is done) and focus on trying to fix shit. Good luck.
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anyone who says they have nevre thought about suicide is full of shit, that thought crosses everyones mind once in a while.You seem to have developed a more intense relationship with the damned thing.You havent gone to far yet as your still here to type this shit out.How real you think on it is what matters, so far you havent made it a serious consideration or youd of already done it.so the next time you start thinking about it think about some other shit as well.it only fixes shit for youeveryone left behind suffers more BECAUSE of what you did. Now if everyone who had a big load of shit dropped on them offed themselves think about how much worse your life would be, everyone at some point has had those thoughts, if they acted on them the world would be a bigger pile of shit than it already is.I dont want t guilt you into anything and talk teh shit jsut to make you not kill yourself, Id jsut like you to look at it from a different perspective.Besides, you are seeking help, through this website and through therapy, and there is no shame for taking antidepreessants.If you got sick and needed drugs to keep you alive and make you better, noone would think twice about taking them, thats all the pills for depression are is fucking medicine. Maybe your nto taking the right dose for you, or maybe its that they have not yet tried the right kind, talok to your doc and tell them its not working and that you need somethign else to try to make life seem more bearable.then again maybe they are working ?they dont make life seem great, they dont make you happy, they jsut give you the will to fight, take away some of the knife that twists in your barin making you feel so shitty, they just help you to be able to cope.Im a firm beliver in suicide for the right reasons.if you were terminally ill and in more pain than not and life was unbearable every second of the day, Id be all for offing myself.You have to look at quality of life, yuo also have to rememebr that everythign is temporary. a terminal illness can only end one way, everything else can change.your family treats like you like shit, guess what?your nearly 18, after that your on your own, your own choices and a whole new freedom and life. if it sbad enough now at home then talk to someone and tell them and you wont be living there any longer.Iv been through bad shit myself, drug addiction, having a kid that I know will die early and could die any day because of bullshti like diabeties. If the money spent to devlope a pill to make yuor dick hard was spent on research for diabeties, my son would be cured. Iv had the dog fuck knocked out of me on many occasions, broken jaw, broken ribs, arms, a couple of skull fractures, did some time in the state pen.when I was 5 I nearly died from a siezure localized to my left eye that landed me for a long long visit in a childrens hospital and medications for the rest of my life. Everythign gets better or goes away EVENTUALLY.You jsut have t odecide to be tough enough to make it through the bad parts.shit can your GF, she isnt helping, besides at 16 you shuold be more worried about your grades and a way to get into college so your not working shitty dead end jobs. focus on what changes you have to make to MAKE A BETTER LIFE.lifes a bastard, the only one who can make it better is yourself.I spent alot of my youth running adn blaming everyone but me for what my life was. Once you take responsability for it and start working to make changes to make it better, shit starts to happen.Its nto always fast, sometimes its so fucking slow that it seems nothign is happening. stick with it, fight, beat and bend life into submission. youhave to take what you want from life, it doesnt jsut lift up its skirt and give it to you because your wanting it.Your not terminally ill, you are on teh verge of a whole new life in just a few short years, a life that could be pretty fucking great if you fight to make it that way. dreams vanish in the light of day, and you know they were dreams. fuck dreams. bring up the molestation stuff with your therapist, take in a broader view of life.you did not have everythign that could go wrong go south or youd be dead.it only feels that way, you are responsible for your choices, and yuo get out of life what you put into it.Iv been down your raod before, different reasons, same result, I am here to tell you that it can be dealt with, ti can be beaten, you cna come out and start living. If yuo do then tis only because you started taking responsability for yuor choices, you started changing shit to make the better stuff happen, yuo worked to put yourself in the path of oppertunity. Think it would be easier if you wree bron rich ? if you had a family who had money and nothing was out of reach?Look at paris hilton, shes a fucked up mess and had all the oppertunites that money could buy She didnt take advantage of them. Shes famous because she sucked some dick on camera and a few million peopel jerked off to it and watched her shows and movies and made her a star. Shes a starfor being a fucking mess, a slut, and stupid.life is what you make it, so start fucking making it instead of blaming it.life isnt easy, but it is worth it.bill gates was once a geeky little fuck who hid in the school library so he didnt get his ass beat.hes now the richest bastard on teh planet, most girls would eat the shit as it fell from his asshole just for a taste of him, men wish they were him. He made the decision to take something out of life. your young, you have the time to figure out your own thing and to grab at it.So fucking do it.
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hugs everyone thinks about killing themselves once in a while, i'd be surprised if someone hasn't. and it seems like anything I say to you would sound so hollow compared to what you've gone though, but you're such a strong person and you've already gone through so much, if you try this hard at life, you have to put out the same amount of effort to your future. You have a future, and you are so far from worthless. You have to keep pushing and hoping that the next phase will be better for you.
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Don't kill yourself.You have made it this far.. don't jump ship now. We have all (all humans) at some point or another contemplated in some way or another killing ourselves. Some people more then others. Some people dwell on the thought with no intention (me). Others don't dwell long and have all intentions..I am going to be honest.. in life there is always going to be some problem nagging at you no matter who you are. Just when you think you solved them all... something else is going to pop up. Thats life. You have gone threw alot more then others..So.. I hate to say this.. .. sounds kinda wrong.. (to me anyway) but, make it a good thing. I broke my arm in 6th grade.. never shed a tear.. didn't cry or freak out..left me with quite and ugly scar too..Other kids would freak out when they saw it.. Whats different? I can't say.. But, I haven't freaked out... I mean even at a job.. I started working as a host.. the other host started freaking out.. and shaking when the going got tough.. They couldn't handle that small situation.I am sure you can find something positive out of the things that have happened. I am sure there is some what to use the negative towards some positive means. ALso... (take it with a grain of salt) but, I think you should quit drinking. It doesn't help depression.. As to smoking.. well.. You may want to quit that too and save some money.I encourage you to save all the money you can. Get a job. save every dime you can get. Parents treat you like shit?... then fuck em. Save your money go to college and get a good job.Your never going to have a totally care free life.. however, it is going to get better.. and odds are problems other people just can't handle.. your going to laugh at..and handle with ease.
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Do not kill yourself.Not only would you ruin your life, you'd ruin others.I'm sorry but I had to say that because It's the truth.About a week ago a boy I knew in year 9 at my school hung himself.He was only 14.It was extremely terrible.Please don't D:I have no other advice though, just not to do it.Just keep it up with a counselor, because it will get better.