There's this guy at my church who's like my best friend and brother. he's extremely funny and kind and I've known him since who knows how long. He goes to an all guy school with two of my other guy friends from church. And today he, and my two girl best friends and I went to see Shrek 3 with some peoples. Anyway my friend and I said we were going to go to his school and visit him or something and he was like no that's not a good idea because everyone there is a pervert and that they're making him think the same way they do and he's trying to stop it. so all through the day he never kept his eyes on me for more than 5 seconds 10 seconds tops. I was pretty pissed off and thought that was pretty rude because hello if I'm talking to you I would like some eye contact. But I just shrugged if off like it was no big deal though I was still annoyed he wasn't doing it to the other two. And so earlier this evening we were hanging out by the store waiting for our pizza and my friend kept cracking jokes about my shirt which was a two piece sweater you couldn't see a doggone thing except my neck and up lol. and she was like "ooh you're showing too much". I said "what are you talking about it's all the way up here." And she said still the color blends in with your skin. So I turned to him and said "did you hear what this retard said? does it really blend in with my skin" and he said "please, don't ask me to look" and then my slow self started laughing at first like a dummy and then I realized what he meant. So a little while on I asked him why he was acting so weird and what not and he was like how he really respects me as a friend but he has a very perverted mind and that though he may look at any old girl a certain way he doesn't want to look at me that way. and he said that he's afraid that if he looks at me for too long he might start thinking dirty thoughts and he thinks I'm "worth more than that" whatever that means. so... I don't want him to think he's doing anything wrong and I don't really know what to say or do. so um... yeah any idea what I could to help him out or encourage him or something? muchas gracias
Helping with courtesy?
you do first move? and go alone.. to movies etc.
Some people who are trying to be virtuous set themselves difficult standards, and they can get very anxious over thoughts that are actually quite normal, even falling into despair over them. You can advise him that he doesn't have to be so monastic, though it may fall on deaf ears.