So basically this has been going on for a few months now. They used to adore him and consider him part of the family. After my mom found out we had sex, she was extremely unhappy. Said he had no right to take advantage of me like that etc, well news flash, it was my idea (and I told her this). He actually never suggested it, yes I did rush into sex awfully fast, and of course he was fine with it. But as far as I know, he in no way manipulated me into having it. I make my own mistakes. She also felt his personality got worse and he doesn't have the amount of respect for me like he should. My dad feels he is not motivated enough, because he just turned 17 and doesn't have a job. He feels that he just isn't a good guy for me etc. My dad is unaware of the sex, otherwise I'd be locked in my room. My dad does not like the way my boyfriend treats his family. My boyfriend is not respectful with his parents etc, they have their own issues and not exactly peachy pasts. From what my boyfriend has told me. Anyways so this has gone on for quite a while. I have always confided in my mother a huge huge amount. I talk to her about almost everything that goes on with my boyfriend and I except sex details etc. I feel this was obviously a mistake. Because if I am ever feeling down etc about my boyfriend or he hurts my feelings she holds it against him and gets mad about it. Basically it's gotten worse the last couple of months and all I've listened to is how I am too young to deal with my boyfriend and that I need to dump him etc. All of this is extremely stressful on me. I listen to my parents and take all of their points into consideration and think them through. My boyfriend knows they don't like him, I obviously told him. He would have noticed anyways because of the fact that they get upset and randomly say I can't see him etc and yell about it. So I just came out and told him, partly because I needed some one to talk about it with. Now for the last month my parents are only letting me see my boyfriend once a week and more recently have just been plain trying to get me to dump him. My mom feels my boyfriend is trying to turn me against them etc. Which is not the case, he in no way tries to make me hate them. Now considering I have listened to my parents, I know what they want to see out of my boyfriend. I suggested my boyfriend sit down and have a talk with my dad. I suggested he explain that he respects my dad and that he knows my dad has always been nice etc to him. I suggested my boyfriend say that he does have goals and ambition. And that he respects me (his gf) very much and finds it a privilege to be allowed to date me.It may be slightly ass kissing according to my boyfriend, however I know this is what my parents want to see and know. So I feel if my boyfriend would just care enough about me and what I am dealing with. That he would just do it. However he refuses. He wants to have a talk with them, but trust me it won't be any talk that helps. His talk will just end up with me being forced not to see him etc. I did not think it was too big of a thing to ask? I feel if he really cared, he would do this. He would try to make a good impression. When we first started dating, he always tried. Now I couldn't tell you what happened...Sorry this is so long. And this isn't even half of the story.
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*sigh* parents don't like my boyfriend
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At 17 I would have never sat down with my girlfriend's dad and had that talk. Ease up on the guy, it's your parents that are causing all the problems. You sit down with them and tell them to leave you alone.
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Your parents sound rather controlling, and they will have to learn not to be, or you will have to distance yourself from them. The ultimate aim of raising a child is that the child should become independent.
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HelmsmaN those issues aren't really solved either. They did back off on being so nasty about it, and decided they would let me have the money for dog grooming school. I suspect if I do move out and in with my boyfriend they still will not be happy at all about it. For now I'm not worrying about it. I have talks with my mom and dad a lot. I always try to be nice etc and listen to them. However nothing changes. No amounts of talks etc are going to make them stop complaining about him. Ultimately they are trying to force me to break up with him or chose him over them etc.Yes I agree they can be controlling. I don't think they mean harm by it, but I need to learn from my own mistakes. If my boyfriend is not right for me, I need to figure it out on my own. As for kmrobins I only asked him once, so I haven't been pestering my boyfriend in any way about it. Maybe he shouldn't have to talk with my dad. But my parents have very different ways of thinking. They thinks it's normally for the guy to have a talk with the parents etc. I just thought it might help the situation. I am under a huge amount of stress and it's hard to have a relationship and be happy in it. When every day you get to listen to your parents about how much they dislike your boyfriend and then on the other hand you get to listen to your boyfriend make comments and be negative because my parents don't like him. After a while that gets really old.
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better consider yourself lucky. my parents won't like whoever I like, date, marry, and grow old with. but they'll tolerate him. hopefully.