People don't understand me...

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So yeah, I've come to the conclusion that people don't understand me....I'm the kind of person who thinks a lot about things. What kind of things? Just everything in general.And by doing that, I've come to form my own views on a lot of things.... and it seems that my views are very different from most/all people, which is why people misunderstand me ...I have yet to see someone who agrees with my views on things... I don't know what that means, but it's not good...People think I'm an ass and insensitive, when in reality I just have a different view on something. So why do people call me an ass?After thinking about this for a minute, I think it may be because people think different = bad. Just because my views and opinions are different than the general population it makes them bad? Why?As far as I know, there is no code on what everyone has to think. For example, where does it say that everyone MUST be sad when someone dies?I dunno...

Everyone is like that. I guarantee you most everyone sits and thinks about everything, and it's not unusual. There is a difference between having your own feelings and views on this, to expressing them in an insensitive and bad time. You still have to respect others feelings when they come to things like death, and religion no matter how different your opinions are. You are not different then others because you sit and think, you just happen to voice inappropriate things. Have you ever heard the expression "You're an individual, just like everyone else." Think about that.

You are not different then others because you sit and thinkI don't think I'm different because I think about things... I think I'm different because no one shares the same views as me (generally people say my views are fucked up and what not) ...

Perhaps you should keep them to yourself, especially in the situations I mentioned.

Do you think this way because of things that have happened to make you desensitized?

Do you think this way because of things that have happened to make you desensitized?That's a simple way of putting it, but yesTo go back to my first post... I really don't mean to be an ass or whatever, but I guess the way I say things just come out the wrong way (or like you said, bad timing) ... but it's the only way I know how to say things.

That's understandable, people... often don't know how to say what they really think, and end up hurting people, that's why you have to think about it, and how it will come across.And, do you think that being desensitized and slightly cold is the right way...the healthy way to look at things? You see a child die, and it's just an every day thing, move on, don't think about it?

NoDifferent= goodNegative= pathetic

that's why you have to think about it, and how it will come acrossYes, but my problem is I don't KNOW how it will come across to other people> And, do you think that being desensitized and slightly cold is the right way...the healthy way to look at things?I don't know if it's the right way, but like I said earlier, is there a right/wrong way?Either way, it's MY way of seeing things, and most people don't agree with it, which again makes me different (or bad) ...

Originally Posted By: pinkranger4Different= goodSo why are you cussing me out and telling me I deserve everything in the other thread, just because my views are different than yours?

It's not healthy to have a constantly cold and negative outlook on life. Sure, you know how think will come across. If you know anyone fairly decently, you can imagine their response, how they'll take something. I can generally expect half of the active members on heres responses to things like what you said in Abi's thread. And I'm sure you can do. You're a human, you know how other humans respond to things. You sound like you're defending your responses, instead of trying to work a way around them and be a productive person.

It's not healthy to have a constantly cold and negative outlook on life. This is what I'm talking about. Who says it's not healthy?> You're a human, you know how other humans respond to things.Not if those humans have completely different views on things.> You sound like you're defending your responses, instead of trying to work a way around them and be a productive person.And you sound like what I'm talking about ... why must I change my ways and be a more productive person? You're confirming that different = bad because you're telling me to change, basically

Hey there,There's nothing wrong with they way you feel about certain topics in life. The problem is, is how you express those views with people. You have to understand that people are going to react differently, depending on what words you use. It doesn't make you a bad person if you view something differently, but being inconsiderate towards people's feelings is.For example, that fiasco in the thread about the death of that young child. I agree with you that death is a part of life. We are all not going to live forever and we will die someday. But how you said it wasn't the right way to go. Instead of saying "get over it", why not something like, "she's gone, but at least she's in a better place"?

There's nothing wrong with they way you feel about certain topics in lifeThen why do people keep trying to get me to change or tell me they're wrong?> why not something like, "she's gone, but at least she's in a better place"?Because I don't believe she's in a better place. IMO, she's dead, she's in no place. How else should I have said it then (besides get over it) ?

You're body says it's not healthy, people that have a happier outlook, and are generally upbeat/smile/laugh on a regular basis live longer, have a lower stress level, and have a reduced risk of heart disease. And, not when they have a completely different view on things. Abi, Helms, Pink, Damien, all have completely different views on a lot of things, and I mean polar opposites but we all general conduct ourselves in a tolerant polite manner, because that is called human decency. And even though they have completely different views, I can still judge their response. I had a really great professor in my Psychology class last year that told me "It's not exactly how you feel, but how others feel. And how others feel dictates how you speak to them." And my mother, who told me to be successful I need to know how to talk to people based on who they are, like I would talk to the Ehud Olmert the same way I would talk to my husband, or a friend. You have to know who you're talking to, and reply accordingly. No, I'm trying to help you out here, it's perfectly fine to have difference views on things, it's great to make up your own mind, but that doesn't mean you hurt people with them. You have to present yourself in a way that doesn't hurt others, I don't care what you think, but the second that it starts hurting someone else is when it is wrong. When your views directly affect those of another, that's when there is a problem.

Originally Posted By: StillSearchingThen why do people keep trying to get me to change or tell me they're wrong?Because it's HOW you express yourself is the problem. You don't want to express yourself in such a negative manner that people will think you have no emotions.Originally Posted By: StillSearchingBecause I don't believe she's in a better place. IMO, she's dead, she's in no place. How else should I have said it then (besides get over it) ? If you don't believe that, then that's fine. But saying something kind and caring is helpful. And if you don't have any better words to say anything, then don't say anything at all.ADDED:Java brought up a good pointer. Having a different view is fine but you don't have to hurt people when you express your opinions. If you want people to treat you with any respect and dignity, then you must do the same in return. And when you do do that, the world will look a whole lot brighter.

You have to present yourself in a way that doesn't hurt othersSo it seems my problem is that when I say things, I don't think it will hurt them because the same words wouldn't hurt me if someone said them to me.. if that makes sense (I had trouble trying to say what I wanted to say there)> that people will think you have no emotionsI don't have very many emotions towards anything, though> If you want people to treat you with any respect and dignity, then you must do the same in return. And when you do do that, the world will look a whole lot brighterBut here's the problem: Everytime I treated people with respect and dignity, I got treated like shit in return. It's because of things like that that I have weird views and don't know how to get my point across I guess

So it seems my problem is that when I say things, I don't think it will hurt them because the same words wouldn't hurt me if someone said them to me.. if that makes sense (I had trouble trying to say what I wanted to say there)Exactly. You need to think about the other people, and their reaction. Just because you would have no affect, doesn't mean they wouldn't. And that also means know when to say you're sorry, and not being too proud to do so.

Just because you would have no affect, doesn't mean they wouldn't.And how am I supposed to solve this problem of mine? I have no idea how other people will feel about many things

Originally Posted By: StillSearchingSo it seems my problem is that when I say things, I don't think it will hurt them because the same words wouldn't hurt me if someone said them to me.. if that makes sense (I had trouble trying to say what I wanted to say there)No no, I get you. What you need to start doing then is to learn to think outside your own feelings. Even if the words, don't hurt you, they might hurt other people. Spend a bit of time going over the words in your head and use them politely. And if something does go wrong, just simply say "sorry, that's not what I meant".

Yes you do. You know how others think, you know that telling someone to get over a child's death would illicit a bad response, it's basic human instinct and knowledge to think of the outcome of what they say or do, and if you deny that you know the general response to some things, or that you honestly say things with no clue how we would respond, would mean that you probably have a serious dissociative disorder, or that you just honestly don't care about other people, period. If that's the case, I don't even know why you would want to get better. If, you do, that is.