Old is new again??

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what a bizzarre turn of events in unsupervised land. So much so, I just had to share.a few weeks ago, I found an old girl friend through facebook. Now, this isn't just any g/f. This was the big one, the one that messed me up and inspired a wicked session of cutting 13yrs ago (many visible scars remain)since then, we've both married, had a kid and divorced (well, I'll be divorced with in a year).Needless to say, we've both grown substantially as people since our 20s.I took a risk and contacted her. Not knowing what to expect, I would have accepted a blunt "go fuck your self" and moved on. As it turns out, she had been debating whether to contact me once she saw my profile too.She suggested we meet for a drink to catch up. We both thought that it could easily be so awkward and unfomfortable that we'd barely get through a drink before making a run for it. We met at 3pm and hung out till 2am. Not too awkward I guess.We hung out agin in a few days, and again. Then went out last friday and she came over for dinner saturday. This is very surreal, not to mention it's totally freaking out all the freinds who saw me through the trauma of it all way back.So, there's definatly still a spark and it's freakin me out too. She's possibly hotter at 37 than she ever was at 23. And for some crazy reason, she's attracted to my fat old ass.We're both confused and concered with the way things seem to be going. There's been no sex but a little serious kissing accidentally happend. We've agreed to very catiously spend some time together to see what hapens... friends, lovers, eternal happyness, who knows. Just, please god, not a repeat of the last time.I have no idea what I'm doing... just flying by the seat of my pants I guess

And baby, that is how it works. I guess I am outta the picture now for good eh? Good luck with all the confusion! What ever way it works out, glad to see you really back in the saddle...winks, hugs, licks, and kisses

Good luck!

Good luck hon! I hope it goes well for you, and flying by the seat of your pants is the best way

Originally Posted By: PepsiI guess I am outta the picture now for good ehwell, there is nothing offical yet, just exploratory although, I did commit to not being a manwhore during this process (such a nice guy)I'll be seeing her tomorrow again, dammit this is so bizzarre

Good luck honey, you deserve the best

I guess you are done with me too. You sound happy....I say go with it. Whatever happens, I hope it all works out sexy. You definately deserve to be happy. kisses and nibbles

good luck sexy so i guess you coming to newfoundland is out of the question now eh?? pouts

I might be staring down the barrel of the most foolish move I've ever madeor notI think I might be bordering on terrified

Originally Posted By: unsupervisedI might be staring down the barrel of the most foolish move I've ever madeor notI think I might be bordering on terrified Some countries consider Russian Roulette to be a sport/game So just have fun!

Well honey when he is gone, we still have each other

lol, Awww, that is so sweet. And your Camaro is the only Camaro I would take my shirt off in.

I fear that I may be willingly drinking poison if I let this relationship happen... but the pull is so strong.

What happened 13 yrs ago that messed you up? Is there potential for a repeat?

all those years ago...We were together for about 2 years, we lived together for part of that.It was a very intense and obsessive love. 2 people who were attractive yet insecure.She was, to my eye, one of the most attractive women that I had ever been with. I used to always think there was something going on behind my back, even though there was never ever any evidence. We also had a lot of differences despite what we had in common. She's a pretty girly girl, a self proclaimed "chick". Me, I'm a tattooed, hard core punk. None of that seemed to matter most of the time.There was (and seemingly is) an intense chemistry between us. Even now, when I'm close to her, it's there. She uses fine hair and bath products, deoderant and expensive perfume. But when I'm close to her, I don't smell product, I smell her, just her.(I alluded to this ages ago in another thread) It's like we are actually in some kind of chemical sync, some sort of bizzare feramone match that dosen't affect anyone else. It's intoxicating.Anyway, that love years ago wasn't enough to keep us together when faced with the obsessions, mistrusts, general difference. We both took the breakup hard but it sent me into a mad tailspin. I couldn't let it go... or it wouldn't let me go. We bumped into each other at a night club a little while after the split, argued, I went home and cut myself to ribbons.I'm finding it hard to put the intensity of what happend into words. It almost sounds silly now.It's also difficult to describe that whole chemistry thing. There is some type of underlying... something. It's making us both nuts. We've avoided sex so far, or atleast intercourse I should say, because the symbolism of that union is very heavy do to our history. But we can't keep our hands off each other. It's like we're puppets to this thing, this attraction, this chemistry. While trying to describe it, I can smell her nearly as clearly as if she were here in fragrant delictum.We are both powerless.

I love when you catch the smell of an attractive girl, sometimes when I'm lying in bed I can suddenly smell my ex even tho I haven't been with her in months. It always puts a smile on my face, altho I've never quite reached the level that you're describing.

I've never experienced this level with anyone else, nor did I expect it to still be there.I keep thinking there must be a scientific explanation

WOW!Science will find it...and we will all become "birth-mates" Till then, try to enjoy.You have both grown over the years. Maybe you weren't ready then...and what you have now, will turn out perfect.

I sure do appreciate everyone's good wishes and cautionary notes! I plan on sharing the sauga as it unfolds with my friends here.At the monemt, I think I understand what a reformed junkie feels like when he finds a dime bag hidden in his sock drawr.

people who are happy, are often the people who have taken the biggest chances, some call them lucky but its just they arn't afraid to grab opportunities when they come along and run with them.......this could be the best and the worst thing, but you HAVE to find out hon or you will regret it, you know you will, if the worst happens you will cope, you did before and you will again, but if, just what if its the biggest best thing ever ........cuddles