I see

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> funny thing is bud, you already have done that. multiple times

I know, but that was back when I posted as InSearch. I've said multiple times I'm a way different person from that now. This time I tried to make a change, in order to get along with everyone else. People didn't want to see that change, so they just kept insulting me (or whatever their reason is).

> You always try to make it seem like the whole world is against you. their not

Not the world, but a hell of a lot of people on A2A are. Other people (like JAva) have agreed with that, so don't tell me it isn't so.

> and I didn't say forget it about it all

Ok, sorry if you weren't one of them, but a handful of people have been telling to let it go. I'm not going to let it go.

> and stop adding fuel to the fire

See, wtf? I'm trynig to have a normal conversation with you here.

how are you taking that last comment as a fight? I'm simply giving you advice. bringing things up that will upset other people and find you as a target is adding fuel to the fire. I naturally don't like fighting so it's expected of me to bring it down. I know you've been through alot, most people have including me. I've been mocked and treated badly by alot of people here on a2a so I know how you feel. It's gotten to me alot of times. But Iike I said before I don't take crap from anybody anymore. I'm better than that. and you're better than that. stop taking crap from them and ignore them since you are better than that. you'll always have friends and people who care about you whether you believe it or not. and if you have that why worry about those who degrade you?

how are you taking that last comment as a fight? When you said "stop adding fuel to the fire" I thought you were referring to anything I had said in my post before yours. I guess you just mean tin general, stop adding fuel to the fire.(Perfect example of how I don't know how to talk to people)You say I should just ignore them. It's hard to do when I get insulted no matter for most things I say.Me (trying to give advice): So I think you should..random person: shut the fuck up, you bastardThis is an extreme example, but that's how it happens sometimes. Hard to ignore those things. My whole reason for adding fuel to pink's fire is because NO ONE WAS DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT, so I had to take care of it myself. I still haven't seen anyone tell pink to chill out (though an admin has told me that he sent her a PM), which is what I had a problem with.> you'll always have friends and people who care about you whether you believe it or notIf I don't believe it, what good does that do me?

that's your choice not to believe it. but it's a fact. there ARE people who care about you whether you choose to believe it or not. whether you like it or not. that's just the way it is.

Well, I do know (or I really really really hope it's true) that one person cares for me, and that is Pete.But even then, I question that sometimes... like I ask him why he cares for me and things like that. Mainly because I can't understand why he would even want to care for somebody like me, especially since he's never met me in person (though I'd love to meet him someday).But even with all that, sometimes having someone care over the internet just isn't enough...

gotta make yourself open bud. open yourself to new things and new people. just don't let your guard down.

Yes, I know. But a while ago, I chose to make a decision:1) Continue trying to make friends and all that, and probably keep getting hurt. But knowing that eventually I'll find at least one person who cares2) Screwing all that, and just not trusting anybody. Also missing out on the chance to find that one person who caresI went with #2, since #1 wasn't worth it to me. And believe it or not, ever since then, I haven't been hurt (that much). I look at this as a good thing.

you can make friends but you don't have to make yourself vulnerable. I don't like pain either, that's why I don't like being in a relationship, it always ends in pain. but you have control over the situation. don't be so quick to trust people, but you can't disregard them either.

you can make friends but you don't have to make yourself vulnerableJust the fact of having a friend and then (usually for no reason) that friend just saying he doesn't ever want to talk to you again is enough to make me not want to have friends. There's always the possibility (and I've seen this exact thing happen a few times already).> but you have control over the situationIn the above example I have no control over that situation. I don't control that people randomly change their minds about me.

in that situation, you DO, have control just by not letting it get to you and wiping the mess they said off your shoulders. if you're better than that it shouldn't matter what they say cause it doesn't mean anything.and maybe all this time you've been approaching the wrong people. maybe you've been associating yourself with those you see yourself with. widen your vision a little. open your mind to something else. people you wouldn't necessarily see yourself with. that's what I did, and one of those "weird" people ended up being like a brother to me.

just by not letting it get to youI don't know how to do that> and maybe all this time you've been approaching the wrong peopleI think that's a safe assumptionI don't know how I chose the people I decided to be friends with, so I can't say if I was choosing to be friends with people I associate myself with or not.I mean, I do know a lot of people (weed makes you meet a lot of people), but I'm not friends with any of them, nor do I want to be.

sos stop approaching the wrong people. and don't judge people based on appearance. that's what messes people up.

sos stop approaching the wrong peopleYou make it sound like everyone has a Right or Wrong printed on the back of their shirt. It's obviously not that simple.> and don't judge people based on appearanceI don't, but thx for the advice anyway...

that's where the skill comes in. and the second thing you said contradicted the first thing you said, buddy.

and the second thing you said contradicted the first thing you said, buddyWhat do you mean

wooo hooo!!keep it up kids, my popcorn is almost ready

lol you find advice giving and a pleasant conversation entertainment? wow. you special SPECIAL man!stillsearching, I mean how you said you don't base people on appearance in the second thing and you said that people don't have right or wrong on them. if you're implying that then that means you are basing appearance first before deciding if they are the right person to approach or not. did I just confuse you?

did I just confuse you?Hell yeah, but that's probably just because I'm to blazed to understand. I tried to read it twice, but couldn't even do that right now.And also, it's comments like unsupervised which I don't appreciate, but when I do something other people don't appreciate, it's trouble. He knows I don't like comments like that, and he knows it gets to me. Don't tell me to not let hmi get to me, I don't know how to do that. He could also just stop and that woulld solve the problem.But really, I have no idea what I just said up above, but I stand by it.

_Don't tell me to not let hmi get to me, I don't know how to do that. _

And I feel like that's the key to alot of your issues.. knowing how to respond to something. Something don't even warrent a blink of the eye.. some you do need to respond and the level of response varies. Unfortunately, I haven't the foggiest idea how you convey that to someone.

Originally Posted By: StillSearching

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Just the fact of having a friend and then (usually for no reason) that friend just saying he doesn't ever want to talk to you again is enough to make me not want to have friends. There's always the possibility (and I've seen this exact thing happen a few times already).

I'm sorry this has happened to you. Hurts like hell doesn't it?
Seriously, that's a pain I understand. And I've actually tried to make the same decision it sounds like you're trying to make...to just avoid friends. I haven't been able to do that for some reason. But what I can tell you is that, because of a lifetime of experiences like what you're describing, it's really hard for me to trust other men. I've done a lot of work around that over the past few years and I'm glad I have.

You can see a turn around in this. I promise you can. But it may not be easy. It takes some soul searching. And learning how to accept what you're responsible for and toss off what you're not responsible for. But I promise you it's worth it.

I know you're hurting about some things. I hear that and honor that...and I think others here do as well. And I hope you're getting the help/support/encouragement you need. And I hope that all this is helping you learn how to ask for what you need in ways that will increase your chances of getting it. And when you do...and this is a heart to heart/man to man promise...you will have much to offer as a result.

I really don't know if I'm one of the people you hate or like or maybe you've not even noticed I exist...but I will offer myself to you as a friend or a mentor or just someone who's been through what you're describing and can maybe listen to you. I won't pander to you or condescend to you or let you get by with abusing me or anyone else, but I will be tolerant and patient and as helpful as you'll let me be. And I would bet there are others on here who would make the same offer.