I see

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Originally Posted By: damienI really don't know if I'm one of the people you hate or like or maybe you've not even noticed I exist...but I will offer myself to you as a friend or a mentor or just someone who's been through what you're describing and can maybe listen to you. I won't pander to you or condescend to you or let you get by with abusing me or anyone else, but I will be tolerant and patient and as helpful as you'll let me be. And I would bet there are others on here who would make the same offer. Like meeeee! I can make you laugh and smile. I'm good at that, practically a professional. Just ask my clients.

word up homaaayyy

@damien: I sent you a PM last night, but you still haven't read it

> I can make you laugh and smile. I'm good at that, practically a professional. Just ask my clients.

You can't make me laugh and smile, I guarantee it

> I am willing to bet that, if StillSearching or anyone else simply doesn't lash out and bite the hand that feeds, each and every one of us will gladly help and support as best we can, given our particular circumstances, personalities and backgrounds.

That's a pretty big comment, coming from you.

you dont have to be so rude to them you know. they're trying to help.

um... I didn't even say that. soo... yah::sigh:: you're not even going to try. it's like a failed attempt. I not to long ago talked to you about making new friends and when I give you the invitation you just throw back at me. I can't deny who I am. I'm a very weird, crazy, but fun and sweet person according to family friends. and even if you don't want to be friends, the invite is still on the table.

he'd rather complain that he has none then try to be your friend hunn.. sadly..

Let's give him a chance.When you give someone a cordial invitation to the table, it's really not a good idea to immediately slap him around because accepting the invitation is difficult for him.I'm just saying...

I may be totally wrong. I just get the sense, that emotional attatchment is gone.

It is REALLY hard to know, when we don't know his story. That DOES help, though, with my daugher I know her story, and all it becomes is excuses for her to lash out. If she isn't getting what she wants, or what feels good, WE hate her. WE hurt hur. WE caused it.

I really hope we can help Insearch before something really bad happens to him in his adult life.

Insearch: I don't think your necesarilly happy with how you are, I think your just comfortable in it. (I kinda like to think of us women in bra's, they are uncomfortable as hell at first, then after years of it, we're uncomfortable without one, even though they can still pinch, we accept that!)

hi StillSearching,i don't know anything much about you, but certainly, you can try making friends not only online..but also your people who are around you most of the time...as i have read above in this thread, you posted"1) Continue trying to make friends and all that, and probably keep getting hurt. But knowing that eventually I'll find at least one person who cares2) Screwing all that, and just not trusting anybody. Also missing out on the chance to find that one person who cares"you took the path of #2 and said that you've not been hurt as much...but if the path of #2 carries on into your adulthood, problems may surface be it at work or at relationships or such..try to take the hard,and bumpy path of #1, although sometimes the hurt you feel or experience, may not be that great and makes you feel like crap... i don't know what you're referring to as in the hurt you feel when you went ahead with #1..but once you try to open up yourself to the world, i think somehow you may find many wonderful friends who can share their thoughts and feelings with you...you need not put all your trust in them and such, but if you're really scared of being hurt again with those trusting issues, maybe you could try to know the person more before you start telling them your little stuffs and such that are close to you..once you feel that the person you interacted for a period of time seems to be trustworthy, both of you would become much closer friends...so even if it really hurts you again, just forget the incident and pretend it's a learning experience and try to stand back up and try again...

you make sense. but I had/have an EXTREMELY bad history. with both family and friends. and it's shameful. and I could easily shut out 90% if not all of the people in my life. it's all about taking a risk. Lord knows if I didn't take that risk I'd be one of those rude nasty girls people shake their head and murmur under their breath about. my "past" is not a good one. but as a different person now I try to disregard that part of my life and pretend it never happened. but that's hard sometimes. to get rid of it physically and mentally. physically is not that hard. mentally, not so easy.

Beleive me I KNOW! There were four girls in my household, who went through the same "hell". 3 of them are doing well, I needed therapy, (and the friends from this board) and one of my girls isn't doing ok.There is something in her personality that is generally negative. You can't really change that, but you can help teach how to live within those confines, and eventually, hopefully, the person in time will learn how to smile and be happy...It is just a matter of "everyone reacts differently".It is hard to explain...I have one daughter who, has had nearly every animal she has ever loved die, she has had her step sisters taken away from her, she has had 2 of her grandpa's die, her father doesn't seem to give a rats ass about her, she lost her home of 12 years, she lost her friends from her old school, she lost TONS of things in the fire, and was possibly a target of sexual abuse.....YET she is strong, loving, non offensive, and full of laughter and life.The other one, same situation, minus the death of pets, and 1 grandpa...and EVERYTHING that happens is someone else's fault, she feels unloved, and disliked. She doesn't know why she has the trouble she has...ANOTHER example... She had a sore throat. Did you know that it was MY fault. I didn't MAKE her drink enough water, I didn't take her to the doctor, and it was ALL my fault that she couldn't swallow, because, I SHOULD have made something that would make the swelling go away from the outside...We all know, that a cold or what ever is no ones fault, but she blamed me...Why is she that way? She was raised by the same people, with the same circumstances...and yet, she is SOOOOOOO different from the other kids...

Pepsi - If everything you say about the one daughter who had everything happen to her is true, could be she's a ticking time-bomb. Some of the problems get buried or "stuffed" until later...then the issues come back to haunt you years later and you can't even remember why they're there.

uh hu.....except that the one who has all the emotion and the kind heart, remembers so little.The one who still hurts, remembers EVERY DETAIL!What I am talking about has NOTHING to do with intelligence...it is all emotional...as best as I can tell.Edit: and it has something to do with the time in life that it all happened....at those critical times, she felt unloved...