Sex before marriage?

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I'm sure this has been posted before, but please bear with me as this is really wearing me down right now.

My girlfriend and I are both Christians and both heavily involved in our local churches. We've been talking about things and feel that the time is right for us to begin having sex (we're both virgins).

She is of the opinion that it is right for us to have sex because we love each other and that it's part of God's plan, but I'm still really confused by the whole issue.

On the one hand, we both really love each other and we know we're going to spend the rest of our lives together. We're committed to each other, so how can it be wrong?

On the other hand, traditional biblical teaching states that sex before marriage is wrong. I'm also worried that when we do get married I'll end up regreting not waiting.

I'm really not sure what's right and what's wrong here. Please help!

Since you're both from similar beliefs, it would be wise to wait. If you KNOW you'll end up married and KNOW you'll be together the rest of your lives, then either get married early or wait. That way you won't regret your decision.

I suggest you'd better wait until you get married.It is because premarital sex is not allowed in the Bible.If you both are going to spend the rest of life together, why don't you get married first?Sexual intercourse is the gift given by God to the couple (in Christianity). A husband and a wife having sex is good in God's eyes, but not boyfriend and girlfriend. Premarital sex is not part of God's plan.Even though you are committed to each other, it is not right until you get married.Just my opinion.But I think it is a very wonderful thing to give your first time and your best to your wife/husband. No one knows what will happen. So don't do it before getting married. Don't let yourself regret.

Before I start, I just want to say that I'm going to take out the religious aspect of this situation because I think you need to look at this from another important view: your feelings.There is no right or wrong here in your situation. What it is is what you feel. It really sounds like you do love your girlfriend but it also seems like you are not ready. You have every right to tell your girlfriend that you much rather wait until you are ready and sure of yourself so you have nothing to regret.It doesn't matter what faith you believe in. If you have any doubts about having sex, then simply don't do it until you are absolutely sure you are ready. And if it is marriage you want to wait for, then by all means wait.Again, there is no right or wrong. It's about what YOU feel is right.

Originally Posted By: Virtual_StarAgain, there is no right or wrong. It's about what YOU feel is right. That statement taken to it's logical conclusion is a very scary thing.

You mean like "If it feels right, do it."?

One of my favorite evangelical preachers once said "God gave us those private parts to feel good, why would he not want us to have sex and use them? Especialy since human females are the only animals that have specific sex organs."I say, If you love her, do it. Marriage is only a peice of legal paper that says you can do joint taxes, the ceremony is only something for your family to see. If you love each other, then that's the only thing that really matters.

You all might find ways of exploring each other sexuality, without having sex, to make sure that your sexually compatible.

Both of you should talk openly and honestly about what you want sexually after marriage. It may prove very detrimental to your long term happiness if you want something a little more kinky, as most guys do, and she only wants it in the missionary position every Friday night.

Sex is big part of marriage and thus a big part of the satisfaction one finds in marriage. If you aren't going to physical explore your sexual compatibility before hand than at least do so verbally. Your long term fulfilment may depend on it.

Christians believe that you shouldn't have sex until you are married. You can think that you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone all you want, but until you are married, it is all just talk. You never know what is going to happen in a year or even tomarrow.Sex is more than just sex. It puts so much more into a relationship then just the physical aspect of sex. I can't really explain it, it is just what I have experienced with my own experiences.Think of this: Are you sure you are ready for sex, cause with sex comes chances of baby making... Are you ready for that, is she. Don't ever say it can't happen to you, cause Oh YES it can. I see that you said that you are both virgins, but maybe you will break up, not saying you will, but then you will continue to want to have sex, cause once you have it, you don't want to stop. And this makes you sleep with another girl who may or may not be a virgin, then you throw in STD's to the factor. And I know you don't want one of those!You may cheat on her, or she may cheat on you sexually, and then there is another way for STD's to get involved.You have to think about the whole picture, remember... You are only a virgin once, and you can only loose it once.I wish I didn't loose mine when I did, but there is nothing I can do about that now.Just think really hard before you do it. There is no going back.

but what about a test drive?
an old woman once told me ( she was senile) why buy the milk if you can fuck the cow for free?
all right I made the old lady up, but I did hear that someplace, more than liekly a movie, and it did make me laugh and anyone old enough to remember reagan in office will also know the adage it was based on.

A test drive is still a drive, it is still sex.You know the first time you had sex, you weren't going to just do it once. It made you realize how awesome it felt and you continued to do it. There is no way you could have just taken a 'test drive'.

I was jerking off for years before I got mine pee pee wet, I knew how awsome it was way before I had sex, I had no clue it was better than I thought from jerking off but I knew it was great. I test drove alot of girls though, some I only did fuck once.others I did several times. I forget wher im going with this but I do know that my point in the first post was that I was being a ass, and that Id never marry anyone that Id not been with a long time, and felt comfortable with and that Id never before made the beast with two heads.

You are an adult and have had sex before, so you can say that with your goofy analogies, but he is a virgin and young. :P

Had this thread not dropped down the bible says no instead of my age, my wishes, am I too young? Id agree with youbut I jsut cant stand reading all this bullshit from people about wait because the bible says so.wait till your married then you know youll be together forever !never heard of divorce?you dont know shit, noone does.what if he marries her and from teh ceremony to the hotel shes killed in a car wreck and hes paralized from teh waste down?children shouldnt be fucking, I agree, but people bitching at someoen else because of a fucking bookruling thier lives is stupid.

Chance, don't make me pull out the statistics that show correlation between pre-marital sex and divorce!I'll do it you know. I'm feeling frisky!Actally...maybe it's a good thing I ain't got no girlfriend right now cause the way I'm feeling I would SERIOUSLY increase my chances of a divorce.

snickers Actually, I'd like to see those for curiosity's sake,

You trying to make me work here?!?

Okay...I'll gave to do some digging. Haven't seen them for a while. But I'll do my darndest.

Thanks

I dont belive it.I belive that it leads to marriages that should of been and divorce is down teh road no matter what.howmany marriages result form pregnancy?if your going to be married you need to make sure thats what yuo want and who you want it with otherwise its divorce downt he road no matter if you fucked before you said I do or not.

As a christian i was taught that Jesus died on the crucifix for all of my sins those i have already commited and the ones that i will commit in the future, meaning that no matter what i do he will still love me, as his love is eternal.If you and your girlfriend chose to wait , yes you have followed the teachings of the bible but even if you chose to go ahead with sex before your marriage , God will still love you and acording to him you are still his son and daughter.One last thing before i finish ... being a good christian is not about being heavily involved in church or etc it is about the connection that you personally feel with God.