Contacting old friends?

---

Is it alright to try and contact old friends through PMs or emails and things like that, long after you've hurt them very badly? I just... I have a friend I've been dying to talk to... but I don't know if I should.

Quote:long after you've hurt them very badly?Well depends on how hurt they are (u hurt them)….me, if some one hurt me badly (say like jack) I’d see there sn and imently delete them. Now if it’s a misunderstanding type thing ..like I had with damion a while back then yes.. Yea I would read it and reply.

its not a misunderstanding, I hurt him horribly.

If you hurt them very badly, then an email with an apology wouldn't be a bad idea, and see what comes of that.

all i can say is.. like pete said. email and apologize. then it’s kinda up to the other person to if he wants to except it or not.i know u have probly heard me talk some about my friend ash on here.. she hurt me pretty bad. b4 i dated shannon (the first time) me and ash tried to date. Ash cheated on me and i was hurt. It took me a while b4 i could forgive her. i had to do it on my own time. it took me months but eventually i did forgive her. i haven't forgotten wut she did but i forgave her and we're still close friends. the time me and her dated was so short that we agreed to not count it. (wut i'm saying is instead of saying i have 3 Exs i say i have 2 EXs.. kind of like we try to act like it never happened)but it was up to me... to forgive her for her screw up.

Think two years is enough to forgive almost anything?

2 years... it was less time than that with ash. i guess it really depends on wut u did and wut kind of person the other person is. i'm a pretty forgiving guy i think. some people tho arn't. i mean she cheated on me and crushed my heart....ok so maybe i'm still a little hurt but i don't let that get in the way of our friendship. Ash made some good points when she apoligized to me and talked to me... (when i would talk to her) so in that way i understood why she did it but then i didn;t cuz she could have always broke up wiht me instead of cheating. and i told her this and well she cried... i hate seeing girls cry. i HAD to forgive her.

I guess it's kind of moot now, I can't find his email, and calling is much to terrifying.

idk i always feel wierd talkin to people i havent talked to in a long time. idk why, even when i didnt do anything to them, or them to me, but still it just feels wierd after not talking to them in a long time.

Well, I've known him since I was 9, and we spoke every day for hours and hours till just two years ago, so I dunno how awkward it would be if we just got past everything.I dunno. I just wanna hear his voice and hear that he forgives me, I dunno why, but I desperatly need him to forgive me, I haven't stopped thinking about it and apparently my "Physical health is suffering from unresolved guilt" (so says my doctor about my heart fluttery thingy)

whoa then you really should talk to him!!

I'm horrified of hearing "Leave me alone" or hanging up, or just no response to an email at all.

Thats true... I think thats why I'm so afraid of talking to people I haven't in awhile...

Thank you :smile: I know his address, he still lives with his parents. And I'm not rushing at all... I tried to call him about a week or two after it happened about two years ago, and his mom picked up, screamed at me, and hung up again.

So two years isn't rushing.

I don't like the idea of apologizing in an email if you two were that good of friends. I think a letter would be more appropriate. As far as forgiving you, I think that just depends on the individual. And some people forgive, but they never forget...which is a whole other issue.

wut if the mother that scremed at her gets the letter and never gives it to him? that's the down only side to a mailed letter.an email she will know it has gottten to him. i guess she could sent the letter and give it a week or so and hten email and ask if he got the letter... i dk.it;s jsut she said he still lives with him parents and his mother yelled at her....so would the mother dump the letter? ...maybe i'm over thinking this.

gets the letter and never gives it to him? She shouldn't put a FROM name/address on the letter so that it can't be thrown out. He'd have to open it.

oh.. yea i'd do that. i didn't know u can do that.

I've actually pondered a similar question. A girl that I was kind of not nice to. Really wish I could have a do-over, but she's married now.I think the question becomes, what are you really trying to accomplish? I think it's never wrong to apologize for something you've done. I think sometimes it could be helpful for someone to know that there were reasons for what happened that weren't their fault. I think the only time it's a problem is when our desire to feel better about ourselves trumps the need to not cause further problems. Make sense?

well hon, you know my story about 13yrs and facebook.even the bitterest bitterocity can eventually subside.