Orgasm Help

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Hi everyone! Just joined here! Looks like a neat place.

So I need some advice. I've been with my girlfriend for over a year now and naturally we mess around a lot. We don't have sex because we want to wait, but we do plenty of other things. Now it probably comes as no surprise that it isn't hard to make me orgasm, after all, I am a guy. However, I've never once been able to make her orgasm. I know it's different for every girl and it's probably hard to give advice on this, but anything would be appreciated. I'd really like her to experience it since she's never had one before!

Welcome to A2A, StudCrumb. As you intimated, girls find it more difficult to orgasm than do guys? How old are you and your girlfriend?

We're both 18.

make sure you're focusing on the clitoris, but not too hard as its very sensitive. also make sure there's plenty of foreplay so she's in the right mindset. the biggest thing though is to make sure that she's relaxed, if she can't get relaxed she pretty much can't have orgasms

Yeah I think that may be part of the problem. We've talked about this a lot together and I think sometimes I might be a little too hard on the clitoris. She'll often say that she needs to rest for a few minutes because it gets to be too much. But how should a go about focusing on it exactly?

Well are you using your mouth or just your hands? I find that the mouth offers more options - with the hand you're basically limited to rubbing while with your mouth you can lightly suck or even VERY lightly bite the clitoris.

I am of course assuming you know how to find the clitoris?

You can also try simultaneously fingering her while using your mouth on her clitoris for extra stimulation that might push her over the edge.

If you are just limiting yourself to your hands, I'd recommend taking your index and middle fingers and rubbing in a circular motion around her clit, sort of so the clit is in between your two fingers. Vary up the speed and pressure and be sure to back off the instant that she tells you its too much. If it's too slow she may not reach orgasm but at least she won't be made uncomfortable, you know?

Anyway, need more details!

I use both my hands and mouth. And yep, I'm familiar with where the clitoris is so that's not an issue.I do try both sometimes, but it never seems to evoke any more response than just one or the other. So I think I've tried most of what you just said before, but have had no luck. What other details to you need?

Hm, sounds like a tough nut to crack there. I don't think I have anything to add that other people haven't already. You honestly might just need to work on her ability to relax and "let it happen."

One important question: is she able to give herself an orgasm in any way? If she can, try and figure out what she's doing and see if you can match it.

Hm yeah I was almost afraid it would be more a mental thing. That's harder to overcome than the physical part. And no she's never given herself one. She doesn't masturbate. I've mentioned it to her before that maybe she should try herself, but she always says she never gets turned on by herself and only gets turned on when I'm with her. Which is good and bad thing I guess.

hm, in that case maybe you should try a bit of a combined approach. like i'm sure she gets turned on when you're doing stuff to her, so you can kind of get the ball rolling. then let her start to explore herself.but dont just sit there like a perv and watch, you should be like kissing her, kissing her neck and all over her body, rubbing her inner thigh or even licking it, sucking her nipples, you know whatever. maybe that'll keep her in the zone while she figures her own stuff out. good luck

Ok well thank you all for the input! I greatly appreciate it and I'll see what I can do! :wink: