Well the title pretty much says it all, im going on 19 years old and haven't had a relationship yet. I really don't know why though, I have absolutely no problem talking with any girl, whether it be initiating a conversation or just casually talking. In fact, I think i'm pretty good at it.
I guess one of the reasons why im still single is because i had a bad middle school, i was overweight back then and didn't have a lot of friends, and of course the same people went to the same high school as me, although i started to get in shape in high school and people started to mature slowly.
Although I started to get in better shape, I still had problem getting friends. I found a few really good ones till this very day, and in fact they are all going their own ways for college in less than a week.
I just started at the community college here, im staying another semester to help my mom get moved into her new place, and overall its the same thing as high school. I was never considered into the 'cool' group, I guess in high school you had to be popular to have fun.
But sadly, it's true, i've never had a girlfriend. I've helped my friends get girlfriends, actually played 'Matchmaker' several times on my friends, and some of them are still with each other.
Like I said, i wasn't in very good shape throughout middle school and the beginning of high school, but now that I am, it feels like I don't know where to begin.
I know there's a lot of drama in relationships and hardships, but I just want to experience it for myself already. Why am I always having to start the conversations and making the 'moves'? Every time I speak to women, they -ALWAYS- give me the impression that they are not interested in me, there's just not that little spark that shows they are interested in me.
Maybe it's my first impression. I concealed myself a lot and tried to improve my looks throughout my teen years, and if anything it made me worse. I don't look that bad, but it just feels like I don't have that extra little kick that every other guy does. I almost asked this girl out in my junior year, but later found out from another classmate that she loved me as a friend, and was also interested in someone else.
Maybe that's it? I just give off the 'friend' vibe... I really don't know at this point. I've been 2faced and used a lot by people I was too nice too, when they didnt even consider me a friend.
I don't just want a one night stand. Some people do, and I dont consider these people real, they just live in the moment, i'm always looking into the future and this issue of mine has been disturbing me lately.
Will I ever have a relationship? Are some people just destined to be single forever?
I thought I was gay once when I thought about this, but a minute later I knew for a fact that I am interested women, and nothing else.
I want a whole, meaningful relationship with a woman, but they are so hard to find these days, and every time I think I found one, we talk, and they just aren't interested in me.
My friends who are leaving for college, we talked last week for the entire night, and one of them actually came out and said he was gay, which shocked me at first but it didn't change anything, we're still friends. When they started to talk to me, they said that as long as I be myself I will get a nice girl eventually.
While it is good advice, I just cant seem to wait much longer. I know I just cant do this overnight, everything takes time, I learned this from going to the gym for 3 years.
I feel old, and feel the need to experience love, a relationship, and heartbreak, I want to experience all that a relationship creates.
Seriously, what am I suppose to do? Maybe when I leave for North California next semester i'll meet a lot of new people.
I know I type way too much sometimes, so i'll cut it off here, i've been repeating myself anyway. I am not asking you to tell me 'it will be alright, just give it time'. I have been told that for years now. I feel like shit basically. I feel that I have so much to offer but no one is ever interested in me.
I am new here and have enjoyed reading all of your threads, unfortunately most of them dealt with issues I had no experience on, but if you have any useful insightful help for me, i'd appreciate it.
I don't expect my outcome to be pretty, life is suppose to suck but I don't want to be alone anymore. Please help me A2A.