Hey,my girlfriend and I have been together for 6 months. We have wanted to have sex for a long time, but we are both virgins and she is too afraid of the pain to actually do it. I have some questions about the first time. you can answer all of them or whatever ones you feel like. How much does it actually hurt a girl the first time? If it hurts so much, is it even pleasurable?Do you have any advice for how to make it as painless as possible?What can I say to her to help her feel ready to stop putting it off? we both want it, but she is just scared. how much do girls actually bleed? would it be worth putting towels down so my bed sheets dont get stained?Does it hurt the second and third times you have sex, too?Also, I am an exceptionally large guy down there (7 1/2 inches long, unknown width), and she has what I think much be a very small vagina. She doesn't even like to be fingered because it hurts. Instead of me fingering her, when we are making out, she usually straddles me and grinds her pussy on my dick, getting her off. It is the ultimate tease because I can literally feel both sides of her vagina on my johnson, and whenever she does it, I just want to go all the way. However, when she does this, she can orgasm really quickly, and it makes me so horny to see/feel it. seriously, I have never seen a girl come so quickly in my life. It happened a couple of times when we first started dating, and one time, I was like, "do you just want me to fnger you?" and she was like "no. I already came." I knew she was really into it, but I felt so stupid for not even noticing that she actually came. Especially because that this meant that she has come other times we did the same thing, and I was clueless. Anyway, do you think she is more sensitive than most people? will this make her hurt more during sex?Thanks!
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My GF's first time
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I think the amount of pain varies, but it's not usually too bad. It's important, of course, that she be relaxed.Amounts of bleeding, if any, also vary, but putting towels down would be a good precaution.There's occasionally still some pain the next time, but not usually.Vaginas are made to stretch, but tenseness and anxiety will make her clamp up.I don't know whether she's more sensitive or more horny.
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well all girls are different.
if shes "small" down there.. im guessin you mean tight? well then you should probably stretch it out.. by like fingering.. then eventually gettin to two fingers.. (thats what did me in) ha..
and as far as the bleeding.. i only bled the first few times we messed around like fingering and such.. and i never did when we had sex.. so i would put towels just to make sure..
and well for me, it was an uncomfortable pain.. but it didnt hurt enough to want to stop.. if that makes any sense?
but if she is scared, she is obviously not ready and i would just wait until she was.. and just let her know that.. bc if you tried to force her or kept nagging.. she could think thats all you wanted..
and as far as pleasure goes.. it wasnt so much pleasurable for me.. just bc my mind was all on the hurting.. i couldnt think of any pleasure.. hah but YOU should be fine with the pleasure part.. just be gentle with her and go SLOWWW unless she asks otherwise.
and every time after my first time haven sex it always stings a little bit just because your not always use to something up there.. haa thats with me anyways.
hope that helps! good luck
oh and ps.
i dont see how she came from "grinding" it takes girls a LONG time to cum.. and girls usually only orgasm.. from the clit.. anyways thats what all girls i know have told me when the subject came up.. and have you tried given her oral?? she would loooove it i believe!.. :grin: -
How much does it actually hurt a girl the first time? Laces never hurt. Or if she did she never told me. Shannon did hurt a little but only when I got to going as long as I was easy with her she didn’t hurt. She still kinda is sore after tho even now. Well used too she never said anything about being sore the last time so I dk.. If it hurts so much, is it even pleasurable? I have no idea. I’m not a girl. My gf enjoys it it’s just after she says she’s a little sore for a little while. Do you have any advice for how to make it as painless as possible? Go easy… be gentle I guess. I mean my gf has no problem telling me to slow down or stop or go faster or wutever. What can I say to her to help her feel ready to stop putting it off? we both want it, but she is just scared. Really she needs to decide for herself. My gf (Shannon) was like that too. She was scared of getting pregnant. (her parents scared her to death) but that didn’t stop me from sweet talking her and trying to push her to do it. But she never broke… she put her foot down and was like no! All it did was make me fell bad for pushing the issue at her. YEA! She knew I wanted sex.. All girls know that. One night she comes over and she’s ready and we had sex. The bad thing is she did it cuz she was pissed at her dad. Her dad and her got into a fight and he accused her of having sex and wouldn’t believe her that she was still a virgin and well she isn’t one anymore. I wasn’t too happy about hearing about that. And was mad at her. I wish she hadn’t done it like that but she says (to this day) she don’t regret it. So… I dk. My ex gf (who I guess never had any pain problems…or if she did I never knew bout it) would close her legs up on me. I dk.. Ryan said it was cuz she didn’t know how to respond to her orgasm………. I dk. But it was defiantly something that’s never happened b4 or since. Honestly sex caused me and laces to split up. 1st she let one of her friend feed her with shit like if she didn’t fuck me then I’d dump her for one that would… shit like guys like me don’t stick with girls that don’t put out.. that is a load of crap (at least for me!) I had sex with laces a lot more than I do with Shannon. (not even going to say anything about Lindsey lol it’s all we did.. man she was nuts in bed..) but yea.. I walked in on her telling her friend about my size and our sex life and pissed me off. So yea.. Sex caused us problems. how much do girls actually bleed? Neither laces or Shannon ever bled. Lindsey and the other people I’ve fucked weren’t virgins. So.. I dk. I guess it depends on the girl. Does it hurt the second and third times you have sex, too? For Shannon it did. She didn’t hurt bad. She was just sore inside. But it wasn’t just after. It was like couple hours after. Like when she called me and we were talking I had asked her if she was going to ride her horse that morning and she said no cuz she was sore from the night b4 9witch was when we had sex) so I got all concerned and asked her questions and she said she woke up sore but it lasted a couple hours. Honestly I Haven’t got the slightest clue. It must not be so bad that she don’t want to have sex anymore……… I dk. The next time we used more lub. She still said she had that soreness. So I told her to buy some lub that was frequented by a member on here. She still gets the soreness… she says it don’t last as long tho. The last two times we changed how we …umm.. Do it….and the last time she never said anything about soreness. LMAO we did got busted tho cuz dumb me didn’t wrap up the evidence and my parents saw it in the hotel trash. wtf are they doing looking in the trash anyway.. Urggg.
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Thanks everyone! I have been on vacation and haven't bee able to get online to check the board until now. All this advice sounds great. I have another question, now. Do any of you recommend me popping her cherry with my finger? Do any of you have any experience with that?Thanks!
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Originally Posted By: gimmegimme54I have another question, now. Do any of you recommend me popping her cherry with my finger? Do any of you have any experience with that?Um, is there a reason why you would want to do that?!Why the heck do you want to make a girl bleed? Besides, there may be a good chance she's broken her hymen already.
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Odd how a woman didn't answer this...until now, that is. Quote:How much does it actually hurt a girl the first time? If it hurts so much, is it even pleasurable?It depends on a lot of factors. If you're slow and be gentle and her to be relax enough and lubed well, the pain is bearable. So please, don't rush. Quote:Do you have any advice for how to make it as painless as possible?Again, she needs to be relax and calm and have lube. And it's your job to be slow and gentle. The key is communication. If she says to slow down or stop, LISTEN TO HER! Quote:What can I say to her to help her feel ready to stop putting it off? we both want it, but she is just scared. Ugh, that just rubbed me the wrong way. :PHoney, don't EVER try to convince her or play mind games with her just to get your rocks off. You need to be willing to wait as long as it takes for HER to be 100% ready. Don't be a jerk and constantly push the subject of sex in her face or else there could be problems. Quote:how much do girls actually bleed? would it be worth putting towels down so my bed sheets dont get stained?Some girls bleed, and some don't. But I doubt it's enough to stain your bed. But, if you wanna use them, go ahead. Quote:Does it hurt the second and third times you have sex, too?Depends on the girl and you. It always depends on the individual. Quote:Anyway, do you think she is more sensitive than most people? will this make her hurt more during sex?Who knows?
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Er actually I think kbaby803 answered the same day, about a week ago.
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Quote:Odd how a woman didn't answer this...until now, that is. Kbaby is a guy ?
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Originally Posted By: Virtual_Star Originally Posted By: gimmegimme54I have another question, now. Do any of you recommend me popping her cherry with my finger? Do any of you have any experience with that?Um, is there a reason why you would want to do that?!Why the heck do you want to make a girl bleed? Besides, there may be a good chance she's broken her hymen already. So you're saying he should only do it with his penis?
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Does your girlfriend wear tampons, or has she ever? If so, there is a good chance it is already broke.I don't think you can plan to break it, if you have sex, and it isn't broke, it will happen. But to actually plan to play with her enough when you don't actually know if it is broke enough or know what you are doing up there to break it, you may just end up hurting her, because you may just be to rough. It doesn't matter if it is broke or not, when the first time she has sex, it will be a little painful for her, but that bad. It just goes with being a girl and loosing her virginity. I don't think you should 'try' and break her hymn.
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Originally Posted By: CR125Kbaby is a guy ? Crap in a hat, I'm blind as a bat. Ugh, this is what happens when I come home from work at 12 in the morning...I start talking stupid. Sorry Kbaby! >_<
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Originally Posted By: sdpSo you're saying he should only do it with his penis? Just saying why would there be a need for it. shrugs Hotpants said it much better than I did.
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Thank you all for your help! We had sex for the first time last night, and, although it was painful for her and took a few tries, it worked out alright.We tried the first time, and I could barely fit my head in before she needed to stop because it hurt so much. We needed to take a break and I got her some water. Then, I tried again, and I could get it about 2 - 3 inches in before it hurt too much and she needed to stop. we rested for another 5 minutes or so and then, finally, on the third try, it worked. It was really slow, and it really hurt a lot for her, but she was brave I managed to fit my penis (most of the way) in. As I started the thrusting and stuff, I went really slow and I gradually got a little faster. I did manage to come, but she was in too much pain to worry about that, so she didn't. Afterwards, she said that it still hurt, but she could walk and everything. Also, she didn't bleed at all while we had sex, but the next morning, when she changed, she told me that her panties were really bloody. Tomorrow, I am going to soccer camp for two weeks, so I won't be able to see her for a while. Because of this, earlier today, in the afternoon, we decided to try sex again. we still took it slow, and she was still in a good amount of pain, but it was better than last night. However, she also still said that it didn't feel good at all yet. How many times have you all known it to take before the girl really starts to feel satisfied with sex? I know another friend of mine who is a girl, and she says that she has had sex like 4 or 5 times, and she still hates it b/c it hurts so much. Also, do you think that she will tighten up in the next 2 weeks before I see her, undoing the "progress" that we made?I feel so bad seeing her face in such pain while I am experiencing on of he most amazing thing that I have ever felt in my life. Also, both times we have had sex, she involuntarily was pushing away from me and sliding up the bed because it hurt so bad, and I had to literally hold her still to keep her from doing this so I could continue.Thank you for all your help!sincerely, A non-virgin
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Even though you are larger than average, the tightness is probably mainly due to her feeling tense, rather than any physical need for stretching. The more relaxed she is the easier it will be. Quote:I had to literally hold her still to keep her from doing this so I could continue.Even though she wanted sex, this still worries me.
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Quote:I had to literally hold her still to keep her from doing this so I could continue.Even though she wanted sex, this still worries me. [/quote]Well, I guess I overstated what I meant. it was more like as I would try to go in a little farther, it would hurt her a little more so she would scoot up higher on the bed and my penis would be just as far inside her as it was before I tried to push it in. I told her what she was doing and she wasn't even aware. she tried to stop, but I stil had to hold her a little bit. It was also clear that "Oww" meant it hurt, and "Stop" meant to stop. I was going slow and easy, not forcefully holding her down or anything. However, thank you for your concern. As I reread that, I could see how it could be interpreter badly.
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Originally Posted By: gimmegimme54How many times have you all known it to take before the girl really starts to feel satisfied with sex? I know another friend of mine who is a girl, and she says that she has had sex like 4 or 5 times, and she still hates it b/c it hurts so much. Also, do you think that she will tighten up in the next 2 weeks before I see her, undoing the "progress" that we made? Can someone answer these questions from before?Thanks!
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I think it's difficult to give a definite answer, because a lot of it is mental rather than physical. Pain from breaking the hymen should heal in a couple of days at most (unless it happens to get infected). Any further pain probably means either that the penis is hitting the cervix, in which case different positions or less deep penetration should be tried, or that she is still nervous, causing her to involuntarily clench up during sex. (She could be nervous about pain, or about pregnancy, or sex itself, or the relationship.)Take it slowly and gently.