Hey all,I'm 18 years old, and I've been looking to get into a relationship, but no one really seems interested. I'm always the one to start conversations with girls, but most of the time it ends in awkward silence, or she "has to go". Provided I am a bit overweight, what can I do? Several of my friends tell me I'm one of the nicest guys they know, but when it comes to starting a relationship it seems like there's no hope. I'm a little shy around girls, but I really do try to talk to them. I don't live with my parents, and I have a very good job / very nice car. Is it just that I'm overweight, and they're looking for looks? I've got a gym membership, and I go at least twice a week for about an hour or two. I'm starting to lose fat and gain muscle, but I still look bulky.Not quite sure what to do. Parents always ask me "what's your girlfriend's name", and it really irritates me. To tell you the truth, I'm 18, and I have never been in a relationship once. I've tried so many times, but nothing works out. I've never kissed anyone or anything.I may be intimidating to people because I'm a big guy (6'2", 265lbs), but really I'm a nice guy. I have no enemies really, and I like to make new friends. I'm just confused by whats going on.Do most people really rely on looks? :-\Any Advice?Thanks.
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No One is Interested...?
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Well, I don't really know how to help you, but I can try to answer your very last question. Though you seem like a decent guy who looks as if there is no excuse you shouldn't have a girlfriend, how people represent themselves in their looks is the very first thing people see, and, whether we are judgmental or not, we always have to have our first impressions. Though it doesn't seem you do a bad job on conversing, so I don't know. Could you think of anything?
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If anything has been taught by my limited life experience (I'm 22) is that the best relationships happen when you don't expect them to. IE: Just talking with a co-worker, or someone who enjoys the same hobbies as you, or even through a friend.I can't see 6'2 265 being all that big of a deal (granted some of your female peers, as well as male peers at your age are still pretty shallow as far as looks) I guess the thing to ask is how do the conversations go? What I mean to say there is who is asking the questions, who is doing most of the talking, are you responding to her etc? Hell, even when she says she has to go, it could be an 'interest test'; she may be trying to see if you'll pursue any interest in her (IE: Ask for an email, a phone number, perhaps a date)
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I find its best not to try and force a relationship just because they are there. Don't worry about trying to create interest the first time you meet someone. If your going to end up going out with them just let it happen by having mutural interest. Maybe to avoid the silence at the end of the conversation try talking to people who have similar interest to your own. And don't worry about not having kissed someone yet. Trust me I was in a vvvvv similar situation to you and recieved my first kiss when I was 18 1/2 from a guy who I met out of no where and ended up going out. It was well worth the wait. The truth though the paranoia of not being kissed is something which only matters to you. He didnt care at all and in fact thought I was lying to him about not having kissed anyone before. I still dont think he believes me
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Honey, you sound like a real sweetheart. i know i personally dont care about looks, i never did. looks are a plus in the relationship but it isnt something i look for in a guy one thing that you could do to is gain more confidence of yourself!!!
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I guess, in a way, it's been a good thing. I hear a good number of relationships end in some sort of fight, and they never really become friends again, or some become the best of friends. Regardless, I'm still in school, so it may be a good thing. I can keep my head in the books, and pay attention to make the grade.I would like to start a relationship, but maybe it's just not the time, and maybe I really should wait until school is over with.What do you guys think?
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I think its worth giving it a shot and an idea leaning more towards the better side of the decision making for now. Just don't get used to being commited to the books, or else you may put your social life of now and later in danger. But that's just me talking. If I went overboard on the focusing on books, I'd probably lose sight of my other parts of my life.
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Have you ever noticed that you often find things when you're not looking for it?
I wouldn't base the things I do on one thing. For example, my reasoning for going to the gym would not be to try to make myself appealing to women. My reasoning for going to the gym would be to get healthier and feel better about myself. Another example, my reasoning for concentrating on studying really hard would not be to try and make a bunch of money because women seem to be attracted to guys with money. My reasoning for studying would be to gain knowledge and gain respect for myself.
We often must learn to love ourselves so we can properly love others.
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I'm a little late at jumping on this. Sorry! I hope I'm not too late. First off... Welcome to A2A. It is a very hard question to answer. Each of us is different and we are at different stages in our lives. You're only 18 and as grown up as it is, so much is going to happen to you in the next 3-5 years you won't even be the same person. You won't have time for a relationship now. Too much is changing too fast. I know you're thinking ready for a hot and heavy relationship but it will come in due time. Concentrate on learning who you are and how you fit into this crazy world and when you least expect it. You’ll find that someone special you've been dreaming about. Don’t stress out about it mate. It will happen in due time. Just relax as much as you can and enjoy the ride.
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I would say you have quite a lot going for you in what has already been said. Your independant, you have a good job and car, your keeping fit. Most people ur age would rather be wasting their lives doing fuck all!Its simply a self confidence issue, it is only a matter of time. Women are like busses. When you want one there are never any about and when you dont want one they all come at once!