Can statatory rape counts be pressed against him?

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firstly i have no idea where this would go, i cant find any information on this subject. so im hoping someone here can help.im 17, ill be 18 in january, my fiance turned 18 in july. we have been keeping most important parts of our relationship hidden from his parents because they dont really approve of me, and we were waiting until the "right" time to tell him everything. perferably say 3 weeks before the wedding. lol. me and him have a journal that we write to eachother in. well last night his mom decided to go on a snooping spree and found it. read it, and found that we were engaged, having sex, and thinkin about kids in the future. she was upset, she wants him to go on a mission and remain close to home. but that isnt at al what he wants, they decided to tell him to break off everything with me. . . . he said no. but agreed that we would "slow things down" which was said so they wouldnt continue their outrageous complaints. he wants to leave the house and move in with me, but we were both worried about the fact that his mom might do something ridiculous because that is just what she would do. . . we thought that MAYBE she might press charges against him for having sex with a minor. but arent there laws that might say that because of my age, i can choose.... and if she did try to press charges, could it even follow through because she isnt MY parent???

What state do you live in? Are you sure the age of consent is 18 in it?

i live in california.... and i have no clue what the consent age is.

His mother cannot press charges against you or her son, she can only inform a legal body. Then your parents may be informed and then its up to you/them to press charges.

Age of consent in California is 18, but you're still safe.

Surely the police may press charges themselves? - Though one would hope they would not in these circumstances.

Well, I guess it depends on who is dealing with the case. What happened to me is my ex boyfriends daughter was giving my nephew blowjobs. He was 15 almost 16 and she was 13 almost 14 when it started.We found out, because she put it in her journal, that she "got to do it again:)" So, we did our best to handle it at home, and then she wrote a note at school that said he took advantage of her. Teacher found note, cops called in, we didn't push it, and now the boy is almost 19 and nothing ever came of it. BUT, if we had said boo, he would have been in therapy, paid fines, and probably ended his childhood on probation...She was a compulsive liar, so we were more inclined to beleive she WANTED it, like her book said, rather than the "my parents found out, and now I could get in trouble" story.I don't know jenn if it is worth the risk....Edit: I am in California.

Duh, I knew that.Frustrating day at court today. Should know better than to post when I am finished.In my kids case, 13 is considered ALWAYS non consenting, fourteen can consent to up to 10 yrs older, but this was ONLY for manditory reporters. So in other words, if they were to tell a counselor about the sex, the counselor wouldn't have to report. In my kids case, she was 13, so the teacher had to turn it in. Jenn, you should just cool your jets, I mean, January is right around the corner, and your looking at a lifetime ahead of you!

I thought statutory rape cases were a matter for the victim's family to pursue, not for the police? Hmm, maybe I'm wrong... Quote:Reporting a rape does not commit you to filing charges. What to do when you've been raped - California There are a few links and bits of info here at about.com:http://incestabuse.about.com/cs/legalsystem/  Quote:Did you know that when you report a rape or assault you do not have to file charges? You are in control of what happens next.

Prosecution cases are normally mounted by the state. I imagine each particular jurisdiction has different practices as to how they decide if charges will be laid. It does seem that in the US there is much more latitude to decide not to continue. People seem to be able to decide not to give evidence, for example, which in the UK would be impossible.

Quote:People seem to be able to decide not to give evidence Personally, I'd see that as obstruction of justice. I can understand it in certain cases tho, like how (in some states at least) someone cannot be forced to testify against their spouse.

you're getting married at 17? wow. good luck.

I think just about everywhere you can't be forced to testify against your spouse, and some professional communications (to lawyers, confessors and the like) are also exempt. But for a victim of a crime to refuse to give evidence as the result of a payment of money - I don't like that at all. It fosters the idea that criminal justice is the victim's revenge, rather than punishment by the people of wrong actions.

Well, to be honest; in the United States that IS how the justice system was designed for. (BIG POST WARNING)CIVIL LAW VS COMMON LAWThe USA (among France and many others) is a Civil Law system; which basically means:The choice to prosecute an offender who violated the victim is under the victims control. That is to say, if your partner hits you, you have the choice to press charges or not (Also, you can ask the DA to DROP charges)Whereas in Canada, the UK (and others) is a Common Law system; which means:Crime against another person is actually a crime AGAINST SOCIETY (Or the Crown, to be a smart ass), rather than the victim. Therefore; if your partner hits you in Canada, you have no say whether he will be charged or not (And charges will not be dropped on the victims request), the prosecutor does not represent the victim (he represents society) -------------BACK TO THE OPIn the OP's case; it's tough...- If the OP and BF had sex when BOTH were underage, say, in the BF's mothers house; she (the mother) could be charged for keeping a bawdy house, or corrupting a minor (By allowing minors to have sex on her property)- Oddly, both the OP and her BF could be charged with statutory rape if they were both minors- The state would have to first approve of charging the person, and then have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the BF had sex with her AFTER he turned 18- Even IF it was proven, it would be a misdemeanor under California La- If sex could only be proven to have happened when both were minors, it would become a child protection case (In which case, the mother of the BF could once again herself face being charged with child neglect, or corrupting a minor; as well as the OP's mother etc)Conclusion:California has an archaic and back-asswards set of age of consent and statutory rape laws that are overly complicated. Also, from what I have gathered here, and from my research into California law; the chances of either the OP or BF being charged is slim to nil, and even so there are too many variables to fill out, plus the complication of impending marriage; it wouldn't go anywhere.

Thanks for that learned discussion, Hawker23, that was very enlightening.

I think I smell sarcasm, lol...sorry Ineligible, I have too much time on my hands when I'm at work!

And some people think that this forum is just about masturbation...

Oh yes of course, Helms; just that the law as I studied it (by no means am I going to get my BAR any time soon, lol) defined the US system as such; as well as the brief case history I studied.

No sarcasm at all - it's always good to learn new things.

well wow... thank you everyone..... well.... my fiance and i came out and told EVERYTHING to his parents, whom..... kicked him out of their house and at the moment, their lifes. which i find entertaining for one reason, he moved in with his very church affiliated grandmother (his mom's mom) and she took me and him to her daughters house and told Dave's parents "how absolutely stupid they were being and that they needed to take their heads out of theirs fucking asses" i laugh at them HAHAH! his mom threatened this exact situation, i played it cool, ummmmm.... kinda lied to her..... it got her to shut up. then G-ma told her that if she did, she would back up me and Dave. HA! so now things are tryin to work themselves out.... well see....

i noticed a few people asked if im getting married at 17.... no, im actually getting married at the end of '08/begining of '09. ive just been commited to Dave since April of this year. so Just engaged... not getting married.

Thank you everyone for all of your help. :-D