Hey there everyone. I'm feeling ridiculously depressed. This isn't anything new for me and I've actually felt a lot worse in the past. I have a lot of friends, and a a ton of family that live here on the island, but I still feel like I'm alone. I want to find that special someone that I can relax with and be close with. I would have to say I have never been in a real relationship ever. I've had a couple girlfriends, and many sexual partners over the past few years, but I want to find a woman that doesn't live an hour a half away, or in another country. It would be nice to be able to see her when I come home, or be at her place in 10 minutes if I were to leave from my house. It just doesn't seem like I will ever find that person. Every time I meet someone that I can get close with, they either don't live anywhere near Nantucket, or I have to leave the country and come back home. It's horrible. It never works out for me. The last person I was getting close to had to go back to North Carolina. Before that I had to leave Australia and come back here. And before that, I was still here but leaving for Australia, and the woman I liked didn't want to wait. And before that, I was in Brazil, and had to leave to come back here. And before that, my girlfriend lived an hour and a half away, and I only saw her on weekends. I have the worst timing in the world. Most people with my life, doing the things I have done, would be ridiculously happy. But for me, I just want to have someone that loves me. I know this sounds ridiculous, but this is me. Haha, oh yeah, and the one girl that always came back to me, and wanted to be with me, I only used for sex. The one girl asked me over and over again, to be my girlfriend, I continued to turn down, because I'm not attracted to her. Both physically and mentally. Dammit. Why doesn't anyone want to be with me? I don't get it. I just want to scream. This sucks. But anyways. I just had to rant a bit. Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. I know I'm still very young, and I have so much time to find the right person, but I don't think it will ever happen, and I know that is the only way I will ever be happy. My soccer career could take off, but if I don't have someone to share it with, it's not going to make me happy. I don't think I will ever be happy.
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I shouldn't feel this wayB
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boogieman, you've mentioned before that depression runs in your family - are you getting any treatment? If you feel better about yourself then you'll find it easier to get a relationship also.
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No, I'm not getting any treatment. Though I have thought about it. And as far as the feeling better about myself making it easier to find someone, I don't think that would work. For a while I was feeling fairly good about myself, but nobody ever takes any interest in me. I tend to make the first move (i.e. starting a conversation with someone), but I always get shot down. It's rather annoying. And I don't understand it. I mean, I'm not an unattractive guy. And I'm fairly funny as well. It's just nobody gives me a chance.
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Maybe youi're just trying to hard?I'm sure you've had it happen where you try really hard to do something, and then you just stop trying for a minute and that's when you do whatever you were trying to do.I'm not saying stop trying, but don't look at every female as a potential girlfriend but instead as just a person you'd like to be friends with. And of course, being friends with chicks leads to more chicks.
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I understand what you're saying, but I don't have that problem. I never look at a woman as a potential g/f right away. My biggest problem is that nobody lives here. I'm from Nantucket and everyone I meet, is not from here and they all leave in the winter. It's horrible. I just want to be able to find someone that I can be close to that wants to be with me and doesn't have to leave the island. I have that feeling that that will never happen though. And I think I'm also feeling this way, because I got shot down just about every weekend in August leading up to the cut-off date when everyone leaves. I think I was turned down something like 8 times in one place. It was ridiculous. Doesn't really help my self-esteem.
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If now all the people have left who are going to leave, it seems the best time for meeting people, because the people you meet now are staying. There may be a lot fewer suitable girls, but surely there must be some?
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Why are you trying to go for the tourists?Wikipedia says your town is a big tourist town, that's cool... but why go after the tourists?Your population may only be 10,000 people, but I'm sure there is someone in those 10,000 for you.Obviously, goign after the tourists from Australia and North Carolina won't work in the long run..
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Well the one in Australia, I was actually there and not here. And I had to come back. And as far as the tourists go, there aren't any others around. The people that stay here in the winter are all either, married, involved, know me from growing up here, too old, too young, or hobbits and never leave there homes. And I'm going to have say that the ratio of men to women on this island in the off season, is probably 10 to 1. And if there is a woman out somewhere that just happens to live here year round and is single, she is going to have at minimum, 3 guys with her, or is ridiculously unattractive.
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I take your other points, but what's wrong with "know me from growing up here"?
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Haha, I was a bit of a loner here growing up. And once people here know you a certain way, they tend not to want to change that. So people I knew growing up that I see now, will just say "hi" if they have to and then go. So that is what's wrong with that.
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Perhaps they need to learn that you have changed.
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What about moving to a different place? I dunno how old you are so...
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I'm currently 21. I will be 22 in a couple weeks. And I've thought about moving to a different place. But I have a decent job here, and friends and family. And I'm not really qualified enough anthing to be able to work anywhere else. The only reason why I have this job now is because of the fact that I grew up and here and am part of the original family and everyone knows who I am and my parents are. I've sort of been given everything in life. I don't think I would be capable of actually taking care of myself in terms of finding a place to live and getting a job and paying bills and whatnot. Bit of loser I know.
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Sounds like you have a problem then:
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You want a relationship with someone
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The tourists aren't working out, and out of 10,000 people there is no one for you to date
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You can't/don't want to leave
If I were you I'd either start looking for someone in your town... you can't tell me all 10,000 people know you.
Or if you're really wanting a relationship, you can always move to another place. You can make it if you want to make it.
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It's not that simple. If it were, I would have done it by now. And yes, of the more like 7,000 people that live here year round, most of them do know me or my mother. We are both very prominent public people. But anyways. Lets just face it. There's no hope for someone like me. It's just not going to work out. I think it's mostly this place anyway. It's a very depressing place. Kinda like Ireland. Very dreary.
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It's not that simpleWho said it would be simple? Not everything in life is easy. And you seem to agree with me that you need to get out of there, based on this: "I think it's mostly this place anyway"So I only see one option here for you. Whether you want to work on making it happen is up to you
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Quote:There's no hope for someone like me. It's just not going to work out.That really worries me. I can't imagine anyone for whom it could be true. But while you have that attitude, you communicate it to others. Think positive, and you will get more positive results.