Never what you plan on...

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Or is it just me?

Moved, mostly, still have stuff at the ranch. Thought I would be able to work there. Thought I would feel ok leaving my trailer until I felt secure with the live in deal.

Yet, the work is cut off at the ranch... I can't get a hold of the gal with the other job I thought I had...

Tuesday, I did way too much and now I am paying with a VERY painful back.

I'm a bit to independent to be where I am right now, though, I am kind of enjoying it.

I feel SO guilty though! I haven't had a dime come in since we moved. That includes child support. Why is it SO hard to believe that I am contributing enough?

I put in alot of time here at the house, the crew eats well, (oh yeah, you guys buy the groceries right now... thanks to government help while the child support gets sorted), laundry gets done, calls made, all the stuff a good "house wife" should do. Hell, I would be out changing the oil in the car right now if he would have left me the oil. I have the filter, but I don't want to drop out the oil, change the filter, and get a call from the school.

My man complained ONE time, not to me, but in front of the kids, we talked about it, and really, if I were working, his day would be ALOT harder by his own admittance. Bad timing and a frustrated moment for him no biggie... BUT it fed me worrying that I SHOULD be doing something different.

Is it a normal feeling these days to think that financial contribution is MORE important than the rest of it???

I go to work full time, this place won't be as clean, nor will the yard be as nice, I sure won't be cooking the stuff every one likes that is healthy. (If it won't go in a crock pot or isn't done in 20 mins forget it after a long day).

He seems ok with whatever, I just can't help feeling guilty.

I think there must be a lot of women who worry about that - and many men in the same position. It's possible that next year I may be in that situation too. But if the two of you are in agreement, that's all that matters.

It ultimatly goes down to what you and your husband value. If you both look at a full time home maker as an equal investment into the home, then you are deffinatly doing more then your share. Different families value different things. Honestly, I could never be a full time mom/homemaker, It's extremely difficult.

Quote:It's possible that next year I may be in that situation too. It is very tough. I have to ask for gas money and the like, I just hate that. He gives it willingly, but it is still hard for me to ask. This IS a new relationship by most standards though, so I will venture to say that it's newness adds to my discomfort...Java, parenting is tough anyway, staying home makes THAT easier, because your able to focus on the kiddos more. I've been a working mom for as long as I can remember, but the times that I have not had to work, kid stuff was much more pleasurable.Are we really so trained that money is power? That is more what I feel like, as though, he has the job, that means he is "the boss".He doesn't make me feel that way, I just do... Here is to enjoying my "vacation" while it lasts...and maybe learn a positive lesson in trusting someone again.

We've always run a joint bank account, which makes the money side easier. Of course a joint account requires a high level of trust on both sides.

See, the parenting I'm finding easier then I thought. Joeseph is an amazing kid, who actually just announced he wants to be a Counsling Psychologist (how adorable is that, a six year old wanting to be a psychologist?). And I can take him to work with me, but cleaning and cooking, and all that. Blah. It's equal to the work put in on a full time job, because it is a full time job.

Originally Posted By: IneligibleWe've always run a joint bank account, which makes the money side easier. Of course a joint account requires a high level of trust on both sides. Of course. However I suck at that, and he gets all the cards, checks whatever. I can write, spell (usually) and he can add and subtract...lolJava, it is full time, but, it is full time in teaching. If I am here, THEY learn to cook, THEY learn to clean, THEY learn, that being who ever they want, takes work. I hope it is pleasurable, but it is more about teaching values, and having the time to do it....ya know?I am SO not saying that working moms are worse, or better, I just see that I have an eight year old who wants to know how to cook, and a full time job, would leave me tired, and he would know how to use the micro, instead of how to "brew the spaghetti". (Btw, crock pot on low, 12-18 hrs, makes YUMMY sketti! Totally doable on a full time schedule, but serious planning is a must.