Weird experience

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hi everyone, sorry i havent been on in so long, life has been very hectic lately. I realise that on this board i seem to ask for a lot of help and not seem to give a lot, so normally i wouldnt ask, but this is really getting to me.Okay, earlier this year, i had my first real sexual experience with a guy. Ive made out with guys before (only while drunk though, to be honest) compared penis sizes with guys, etc, but this time i gave a handjob, and i was sober. However, the other people who where present at the time have told some people about it now. Ive been able to cover for it so far, but if this got out it could ruin my life, you know? At the time, i thought, fuck it, i want to experiment, ill go for it. I was being pretty open minded at the time. But now i keep feeling all weird about it and obsessing about it. I dont know how i can become okay with this. Its not a very common thing to happen either, so theres no one i know i can really relate to. anyway if anyone could offer some advice id be really grateful. thanks.-ak

It's so good to see you back!I think it's a much more common thing to happen than you think.Look, it probably will get out, if a lot of people now know about it, but it won't be the end of the world. If you take a "so what?" attitude to it that will help it pass over you. It was an open-minded experiment - why not?

thats the thing, it wasnt planned. we where all in an experimental mood- we where all just walking around this guys house naked. i didnt say to the guy it happened with 'take your cock out, i wanna give you a handjob' the opportunity was there and i just kind of went for it i guess.

im just finding it hard to feel comfortable with it, yknow.

Don't worry what other people think.If it's that big of a problem,think of a good solid believable story and tell it to anyone who asks.Then you won't have any problem with mix ups or telling two different stories.But really,you wanted to experiment, you did it, no big deal.People want and wish they could do it all the time.

I'm going to agree with Ineligible and Helms. People talk and word gets around fast. The best thing you can do is just brush it off by accepting it. Don't make up stories or excuses. Stick to your guns, say it was simple experimenting, and it'll simply blow over.

I know it was a heat of the moment type of thing, but you gotta have more self control if you don't people watching or find out on what you're doing.

Best of luck!

I agree.To the OP:Feeling like experimenting is NOT a crime, or anything bad. It is curiosity, and though people might seem to make fun of others for that, they shouldn't because it's normal. There's nothing to it - it doesn't necessarily make you -gay- and it is not a bad thing. Hey, you thought you wanted to try something, you did it. You had the guts to go through with it, and you did it. Now what you have to do is, in a sense, be proud of what you did and not care what eothers thinkk because if they try to make you feel bad about it, they're just being immature. I'm sure they've been curious before, and if not, it's still not an excuse to point fingers at someone at because you know what? There's nothing wrong with what you did. The only difference between you and others is the fact that you actually went through with it. That's nothing to be ashamed of.I'm actually trying to make a really good point here, but I don't know why I can't really pinpoint it. Basically, don't care what others think; their thoughts are immature, pointless, and unnecessary. They also shouldn't make you feel bad anyway because really, there's nothing wrong with you did and if people have a problem with it, fuck them. You wanted it. Be proud of what you want. Because what you want is part of who you are. And no, I'm not saying you're gay. Not that it should mean anything bad, but there are always those stupid exceptions you can try but never really get rid of. Like parents. And further elaboration would be going off track.Sorry for making this long.

It's easy to say "don't make up excuses" when you aren't in the situation currently.And while I'm not in the situation either, I understand your fear and being uncomfortable.It's not a big deal what you did, but nothing we can say will make you feel all that much better about people talking about you. You aren't ashamed of what you did, you are uncomfortable with everyone knowing. It'd be the same if it were with a girl.So do what makes you feel comfortable, handle it the way it feels right.

Originally Posted By: Felix 12It's easy to say "don't make up excuses" when you aren't in the situation currently.The reason why he shouldn't make up stories or excuses to cover up what he did wouldn't help and it'll make things much worse. Like I said, he should just stick to his guns. Tony made an excellent point as well.

I'm not trying to argue or make enemiesBUTit's human nature to care what others think.We all know that what happened was normal, we all know he has nothing to be uncomfortable about. But not everyone is open minded. Some would see this site and close it immediately. There are a lot of close minded people who only see things one way.Sticking to his guns isn't going to change those people, and while conforming isn't the best option, if you can tell a lie to avoid having to explain something to a person who is equivalent to a brick wall then lie all you need to.Be yourself, stick to your guns, don't worry about what other people think: those are things I strongly believe in, but I also realize it can't always be done.That's all I'm saying,no one has to take my advice, I just put it out there.

Originally Posted By: Felix 12Sticking to his guns isn't going to change those people, and while conforming isn't the best option, if you can tell a lie to avoid having to explain something to a person who is equivalent to a brick wall then lie all you need to.I agree with what you said, but who said he has to change the minds of these people? He doesn't need to explain it to them. All has to say it was an open-minded experiment and be done with it.

I understand that, and that is the best solution.but if saying that makes him uncomfortable, then that's where my advice kicks in.

Ah, now I gotcha.

Hey Africa.I know some others have had opinions too....but to be real. It happened a long time ago - is there a reason it's big now?You gave a hand job to another guy, and there were other ppl there? What kind of a party was that? (I have to ask bc I live in Alabama) I ask bc I know a lot of ppl who'd love to be invited to that party.Also, you don;t say much, but to be honest - your hand - there was a penis involved...did he get hard, cum? Is he cool? (I think you may just be way overthinking this?) Is it in your mind, or is it affecting your life? You might be fixating - and may just be at the top of the cool list. You didn't say this has come back to you.If you're worried - yourself. This is not that big a deal. Been there, done that - the question is what do you want. The past is just that...really..

thanks for the replies everyone,ill go into further detail.my best friend at the time was the guy i did it with. two guys who, at the time, where good friends of mine, but hate me now, for various reasons (but im glad to be rid of them, because i have a small group of some awesome friends now i wouldnt trade for anything) where in the room. we where all naked- we decided to walk around my friends room naked and compare dicks, etc, to experiment. i know, not the typical teenage thing to do on a saturday night, but well they where getting naked so i thought i might as well follow suit. anyway, ironically enough one of the guys who has been telling people about this was playing with my ex-best friends dick as well at the time (but im not ex-friends with that guy because of the experience, that is a different story all together) and i guess, if everyone finds out about this and starts making fun of me i could expose him as well, but i dont think anyone would believe me. another thing worth mentioning is the other guy spreading this around was jacking off in the bed i was sharing with him. i thought it pretty strange they where telling people what me and my friend did together, when they werent that far off from having done it themselves. Still, i felt ok about it until i thought everyone would find out, then i suddenly felt all uncomfortable about it. its just, if people at my school find out, i will be friendless. i know, who needs friends that cant accept you for who you are- but i live in a very homophobic part of the world and thats just the way things are. Also, those friends i mentioned earlier, the people who dont go to my school and i see on the weekends, if they found out they probably wouldnt desert me, but im terrified that theyll see me in a different way.still, its worth mentioning that i lost my virginity a few days ago! and in case your wondering it was with a girl, lol.sorry for the long post.

Quote:i thought it pretty strange they where telling people what me and my friend did together, when they werent that far off from having done it themselves.Actually it's not so strange. People who are afraid they may be attacked often try to defend themselves by going on the offensive. And people who feel guilt about something they have done often try to assuage that guilt by denouncing those who have done exactly the same.

hey, congratulations on that girl thing too.

I agree - ppl who feel threatned are more prone to get defensive. But if this was that kind of party, it sounds pretty safe to me - everyone was in on it.

If they're spreading word, remind them of that. But still think you may be thinking too much about it. No harm, no foul.