Ok guys I need some help here, I think I need to leave my girlfriend but I would like to see if you guys think its justified. Thoughts and opinions are very much appreciated!Down to business: I had been talking to her while she was still dating her ex-boyfriend and she totally loathed this guy so we talked a lot and I helped her through it I guess. After Graduation she left him and shortly after we started seeing eachother. It was awesome to start, she was so great and I think we matched eachother perfectly. However lately I think she's begun to lose interest in me and I'm beginning to become frustrated in some of her actions so I am seriously contemplating leaving her....I really don't want to but I can't be with someone like that. Heres just a few of the things that have really been bugging me:1) A week before my 18th birthday I had all my friends over at my dads place to sorta celebrate there and 2 of my friends and their girlfriends were in the hottub with me but my girlfriend got out and pretty much hung out on the trampoline with my best friend. Although nothing happened between them everyone later asked if things were ok between us to which I could not give a definite answer. She was quiet the entire night and seemed to avoid talking to me. Asking later she said she was just shy because she had not hung around my friends a lot and was taking time to "absorb things,"....odd she wasn't "absorbing things" whenever I seemed to be at least 10 ft away...2) On my 18th birthday I had all my friends over at my moms place and the same thing happened pretty much. All the couples hung out except for me and my girl! She hung out with another good friend of mine and they seemed to have fun. It pissed me off so much that me and best friend decided to get piss drunk together. 2 coolers, 3 shots of rum, and half a 2-6 of vodka later me and him were fucked out of our minds. I ended up passing out in my room for the night. In the morning I was informed that my friend got a little friendly with my girl and my best friend who got drunk with me took it upon himself to set him straight (we was drunk but not nearly as I....the dude is a tank). Everyone present thought it was justified except for my girlfriend! In fact she wanted me to apologize for the behavior of my friend! Of course I didn't and she let it go after awhile. Again everyone asked if things between us were ok to which I again had no definite answer.3) Whenever we get around to being alone with eachother she never makes a move. Now I know as a man I should be expected to make most the moves but it is also expected that the woman be a little receptive as well. I would hold her hand and she'd sit there. I'd put my arm around her and she'd sit there. When we would lay down I'd put an arm around her so my arm was a pillow yet she wouldn't cuddle, when we kiss she lays there like a corpse (not a turn-on ladies)...doesn't through her arms around me as I am over top of her. She got upset when I fondled her breast on one occasion so I no longer do that but if she has issue with intimacy at this level what lies on the road ahead? It's the small things that count and when they are lacking you really do notice them. She says she is just really shy because she didn't do anything with her ex-boyfriend after 6 months and we have only been together for 6 weeks, and when I say they didn't do anything I really mean it lol....kinda sad heh.4) She talks excessively about her boyfriend, his mother, or her friends or work or anything. She finds something negative and capitalizes on it. Now I know women dont always want a man to fix their problems and that sometimes all they really want is a good ear and sympathetic shoulder to lean on but it's a little hard when it's all she does and especially when it's about her ex-boyfriend. And more and more I am finding myself secretly siding with whoever she is complaining about.5) Yesterday she got excited about planning a small party with her friends and planned it for tonight. She invited all her girlfriends and their boyfriends. But she didn't invite me, she did invite her ex-boyfriend however. Now when they broke up he did start to cling onto her group in an attempt to win her back but the whole group finds him utterly annoying. Plus on Graduation weekend her group partied with mine and I get along very well with them, they are always flattering me in one way or another heh they are really cool people. So I said to her "Why are you inviting him and not me? They all find him annoying, you find him annoying, plus I am your boyfirend why am I not invited?!" to which she said "No, it would be too awkward with him there." I said "So don't invite him, no one will miss him!" to which she said nothing until I sternly said "This had better not be an ongoing issue" to which she muttered "It might be." I got so pissed off I just got up and left. So at this very moment she is out partying with her ex-boyfriend while I sit at home.I can not be with someone who is too scared to show her feelings, or maybe it's that she has no feelings for me to begin with. Maybe I was just her rebound guy and now that she's over her ex she can move on. Or maybe she likes the slow pace her and her ex-boyfriend had and is returning to that. Perhaps I did something to push her away? Frankly she has to chose, she has to smarten up or I am going to have to leave her. Am I being unreasonable or are am I justified in my confusion and anger?Disgruntled and Confused,Hyperion
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Should I leave her?
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sounds similar to my girlfriend. If you saw my thread a while back you'd see similar things happened, and eventally i ended it for similar reasons you want to.3 weeks later she decided that she couldn't live without me and so asked to come back. I didn't want to be without her either, so I took her back and now I'm seeing what will happen next, although I don't think it will last.It may be in your best interest to get rid, if you ask me. If you're unhappy, then it's not worth the effort.
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my two cents: leave her. she is showing in every way that she doesn't want to be with you. for whatever reason she isn't coming right out and saying it, but her actions speak very loudly.and inviting her ex and not you?!! that is simply WRONG. find someone who doesn't have so much baggage and is interested in you. she seems to be interested in only herself, your friends and her ex. you deserve much better.
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quite frankly i dont think these issues MAY not be that big. but it all depends on how much she feels for you. that wasnt displayed at all in your post so its hard for us to knowif you really have something special together then these issues should be easy to sort through
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I'd like to hear your thoughts here too actually, because I'm not sure what to do.She acts very randomly. Some days she'll be really close and loving, and some days she'll act as if she's never met me before or something.She swears blindly that she loves me and she just has "funny days", but I dont know.She was the one who initiated us getting back together, and on that day she was very very close and loving to me, yet on sunday she wouldn't go near me. She claims it's because she's tired but I'm not entirely sure
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hey hyperion
its seems like ur a decent fella..so i suggest u get rid of her as soon as possible..and find someone better.
if that was me and i didnt get invited but the ex did..i would show up tho and ruin it for everyone..lol and take a couple Digs @ the ex.. cause if he knows about u..and hes with ur girl..thats disrespect and needs sortin. But thats me and im a crazy bugga.
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Yeah, if she can invite her EX to a party, and not YOU, dump her ASAP! That's just ridiculous.
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I'm feeling very paranoidShe came in to work today with her friend and we talked for a bit and then I asked when I'd be seeing her next and she said not tomorrow but probably friday and then her friend blurted out "she's not cheating on you!" and I don't know why she said it, if there was no reason to.She then came back a little later after having bought a new mobile (cell) phone and she wont tell me her new number...what do you think of that?
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ummmm....what do YOU think of that?!!!dude, do yourself a HUGE favor and cut this nut loose. you seem like a very nice guy and she is fucking you over mentally. why would you stick around for more abuse?? NOTHING she is doing is NORMAL for a girlfriend to do. you deserve so, so much better.
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In reply to:
She then came back a little later after having bought a new mobile (cell) phone and she wont tell me her new number...
hahahah and you guys are in a relationship together? what a joke
note: this is very hi-jacked thread. hyperion should come post us with something so we can continue to offer any advice if wanted
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d-oh! didn't even notice the hijack!
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ok sorry. i'll get my coat