You know

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Yeah, i mean people like you definatly are yourselfs.I mean yes there are alotta people out there who like unpopular things because that's just them and even if they were to experiance other things they don't like them.But there's also people like me who LOVE to be socially popular, LOVE to go to parties and LOVE to be stylish and stuff like that.I mean i have nothing else to do with my life.Whereas you go to conventions, and have your boyfreind, and the confidence that comes along with that, because your being yourself, i have nothing.I just want to be myself, and just because 'myself' is someone who loves social and popular things, doesn't mean thats not 'myself'If the things i liked werent popular, ide still like them.Ide still like parties if all the supposed 'dorks' went to them.I'de still love fashion even if only 'dorky' people were into fashion.Ect, ect.All you people seem to think that everyone is naturally nerdy, and choose to be into social and popular things just because they are shallow and hot.You don't get that it just so happens that many things that i like to do can only be done by hot and popular people and thats why im depressed.But yeah i still do think there are people like me, mainly people who were born deformed in some way, who would much rather live a normal social life than being stuck home all day doing things by themselves and looking a certian way that is ugly "to them".

and one more thing, personally for me, i really like people who are themselves no matter what type of person they are because if you are 100% you, then you are cool in my eyes, because like, my untimate goal is to be myself so i look up to that.

But i think my case falls in a case not many people can understand. Most people are born somewhat normal looking to the point they can easily, without much critisim, decide what they want to look like or dress like or be into without much trouble. But see me, i personally think i was born with some type of deformation that effected my whole body. (like ona my sister's friends was born with like a spine deformity and she's majorly short, she has a really deformed face, her eyes are popping outta her head, and she can't eat right, and her whole body is just deformed...and while my case isnt definatly as bad, i do think i have a small spine deformity so it coulda caused a small body deformity for me)
So yah i think it is hard for me.
Because where most people can generally decide who they are and just live life being them, im kinda forced to be someone im not because of my looks...and im forced pretty much to be bored all day, or hang out with a rare freind that really gets on my nerves, and be turned down by every single girl i ever like.

The thing is, I see nothing wrong with your looks at all. I see no deformity, no unattractiveness.I really think it might be body dysmorphic disorder.

I thought you said you didn't have a best friend?Anyway, please please please do not take this post the wrong way.THEN GET UP AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. I dont know what else you expect us to say =/ either we're older, and went through the same thing and are either a) Did something and love where we are, or b) Are old, and still pissed about out situation. Step one: Don't complain about your life. Your parents love you, and are doing the right thing by not taking you out of school, and not giving you drugs. The restrictions they put on you, they do because they love you.Step Two: Get a job. Step Three: Get a car.Step Four: Reevaluate your goals in life to realistic ones that make you just as happy.Step Five: Don't complain about being ugly, because just because you think you are, doesn't make it so. And there are about a million non-surgical things you can do to alter your appearance to more suit your liking.Step Six: Move out when you are 18 if you want, at this point you should have a car, and a job. Step Seven: Your confidence wont go up until you have a social setting outside of school, which is achieved by Step Two, and this step where you: Get a hobby. You like writing, get on myspace and try to hook up a band together and be their lyricist. You don't need to be a good singer to be popular, look at most musicians today!Step Eight: Get laid to a girl you love, most people don't lose their virginity until after high school anyway, don't rush it. Step Nine: Quit your job, and get a better one. By now you should be out of high school, and thinking about college, or a career. Now is a perfect time to take a step towards a better job.Step Ten: Take a vacation or trip, this should probably be done before you quit your job and get a new one, but what the hell. Go on a road trip with no destination. You could use it.Step Eleven: You should be well into 18, maybe almost 19, call your parents and tell them you love them, and that they did a great job in raising you.Step Twelve: Reevaluate your goals again. Always keep doing this throughout your life, because priorities constantly change, you never know what might be coming up to change your whole world.Twelve step program to getting a life!

Originally Posted By: Someone young But there's also people like me who LOVE to be socially popular, LOVE to go to parties and LOVE to be stylish and stuff like that.I mean i have nothing else to do with my life.That's great. So, go join clubs or social groups that have the same interests as you. Make new friends and make parties. And wear whatever you feel like wearing. You just need to gather your courage up to walk out the door and hold your head up high.You're right, I can't 100% understand how you feel because you're more of a social person. Whereas, I'm a person who likes her solitude at times. But if being social is what you want, then go do it. Originally Posted By: Someone young All you people seem to think that everyone is naturally nerdy, and choose to be into social and popular things just because they are shallow and hot.I'm sorry, but what? Originally Posted By: Someone young You don't get that it just so happens that many things that i like to do can only be done by hot and popular people and thats why im depressed.You don't see it now, but that's wrong. Soon, when you leave high school, being "hot and popular" isn't as great as it seems nor will it do any good in the real world. There's no such thing as a "hot and popular" contest or anything. It's all about how you carry yourself. If you allow people to judge you solely on your physical appearance, then you allow them to step all over you. And that's how you can never change unless you stand up for yourself and tell people to treat you like a human being.The real world is hard and scary. That's why you have to do your best to stand up and fight back. Originally Posted By: Someone young Most people are born somewhat normal looking to the point they can easily, without much critisim, decide what they want to look like or dress like or be into without much trouble. But see me, i personally think i was born with some type of deformation that effected my whole body. Then you need to find some way to deal with it, from the inside. Like I said, you can have a million dollars in plastic surgery but you're still the same you inside.Here's a quick story:When I was about six or seven-years-old I had the bad case of the chicken pox. After it went away, I was left with these red marks on my forehead. When I went back to school, I was pick on all the time because of them. Kids kept asking "What are those thing on your forehead?". I also had to cut my hair short because I was getting nasty bumps on my scalp, so I looked like a small boy. I was picked on that also.I came home and told my mom about it. She simply told me to ignore them. At first, I thought she was just saying that so I could get off her back. It's easier said than done because being told by everyone you look strange hurts. But later in life, I realized she was right, even though it is hard to do.Fast forward to when I was twelve. I was pick on by this one guy because I had hair on my legs and I "looked nasty". I was a young child, going through early puberty. Who knew I had to already start shaving like a teen in the sixth grade? I still had the short boy-cut, so that didn't help much.Fast forward again to high school. I started developing these weird bumps that covered my upper torso, back, and neck. These bumps are still with me and the scratching left scars that look like spots clearly on my neck. Like all teens, I also had mild acne. If you look really up close to my face, you can see scars and the surface isn't smooth. Same goes for my back.I wasn't born "ugly". Things just happen. However, you wanna know something crazy? Even through all those years in my early education, I still had friends. These friends accepted me for who I was and didn't ridicule me for how I looked. I was in different activities, went to parties, hung out with friends to different places, and many other things. In high school, I still had friends and I was doing what I wanted to do. And even to my very surprise, I found a couple of guys who were actually attracted to me. This all happened because I learned more and more how to ignore all the ignorant jerks and show everyone how I wasn't going to allow anyone change who I was.The point is this: no matter what, people are going to find one way or another to bring you down. It's no big surprise; kids are fucking brutal. If you don't have acne, they'll make fun of your hair. If you have nice shoes, they'll make fun of your clothes. If you like rock, they'll make fun of you for not listening to pop. It's hard, I know, but you have to grow a spine and say "enough is enough". In high school, it's the worst because kids from 15-18 should know the difference between right and wrong. But they still chose to bully and hurt people. And the only reason why they do that is because they have nothing else better to do in their pathetic lives. They're insecure about themselves, so they look for people to pick on so they can feel better about themselves. They outcast others because they are afraid how they would look in the eyes of their peers. It's the fucked up hierarchy system of high school.And now, because they are doing these terrible things to you, you have this awful way of seeing something you're not. You see only the minor, physical flaws so strongly that you don't see the positive things about yourself. So much so, that I agree with Ineligible, you might have developed a disorder. What you need to do is find some help in dealing with this. Once that's established, you need to learn to accept yourself so other people will accept you. Hold your head up high and be yourself. In time, you'll find the happiness you're looking for.

I hope this might help you see what is trying to be told to you. .if it don’t maybe it will some one else. But I hope it does.I’m going to use star’s approach… You see how you pint out that people are hot and popular goes to all the parties and shit.. it’s not true for all. Some of those “pretty’ people are shy and like to stay at home (or their not shy but they still would rather be at home or with a few close friends) I think the paring and poplar thing has more to do with your exvert or invertness. Exvert (I dk how to spell it is some one that needs people and attentions to feed off of.. more to it but that’s the short of it. While a introvert is more of a alone person…don’t need a lot of people around them. You sound like a extrovert and that’s why your depressed. That’s my guess anyway.Now on the looks…. I don’t know what you look like so I dk if your over ugling yourself on how bad you think you look. But I do know that what we see as ourselves is NEVER the same as what others see in us.You can be the hottest guy in the room and fill like the ugliest. You could be the ugliest and fill like the hottest. Her’s some shit on me now.. You Don’t have to read it if you don’t. I’m just going to point out the other end.. To them (them would be people around) I’m guessing I would be plugged as a prep / or a partier.. A girl chaser. But am I? NO! I have only asked two girls out in my entire (19 years) of life. The ONLY reason I did ask them is my older brother pushed me into it. I am very shy. I was a lot shyer when I was younger than now tho. I think college has opened me up a bet…especially with talking to other people my age. See I never had problems with kids or older people like my parents age.. But any open near my age.. Teen or young adult I am extremely shy around. I dk why ..I just am. My shyness made me quite tyqaundo. Soccer helped me get friends. But I stopped that in 7th grade. From as far as I can remember in school girls have always like d me but boys had little to do with me. (until I played soccer) it’s still a lot like that. Hell if I know why I can’t make any male friends.. ???This is going to sound vain but…….I have never been told I am ugly. I’ve been called cute , hot and a pretty boy. No! I do not like it! I am not any of those things!!!! Ok.. Well they can call me anything but pretty boy. Pretty is for girls. lol (you should laugh cuz it was meant to be funny) seriously tho.. I dk what guys have against me? I don’t think they have anything against me.. I think it’s just they have no need to walk up and say hi to me and I;m sure as hell not going to do that to them. So it’s partly my fault all I hang out with is girls… and to be honest most of theses girls aren’t really friends.. They just want to be around the good looking guy (I think). But here is the thing.. the grabber.. I’m not that hot. I’m not mr it. I see myself as pretty normal looking and nothing special.. There are a million of me walking around. I don’t get why girls cling to me.. I really don’t. I have a long pointy chin, my eyes are so light my pupils look deformed (but still people love my eyes) and I have a lazy eye. Oh and my big nose and oversized lips. and little ears (tho I hide those little ears behind a head full of hair lol… I have a egg head shape. I’m not going to even start on all of the scars on my body. i was the little guy for so long. smallist in all my classes and tiny in 9th grade. not even 5 foot and maybe 100 pound wet! that's how small i was. even i still look at myself in the mirrior and think shit.. i can;t belive i'm 6'1" now (yes i grew over the holidays..i never thoguth i'd say this but i hope i don't grow anymore) and have mucscles. well i had no controle over my hight.. i have the controle over the amount of muscle i have but if i didn;t work hard in the gym i'd wither down to a beem pole size again. I can sit here and nit pick on other things I see wrong with me but will others see them? I bet not. even when i was tiny and little it didn't seem to bother the girl it just botherd me. It all goes back to what I said in the beginning.. what we see as ourselves is NEVER the same as what others see in us.

I'm glad CR posted here, he's a great example I'm going to use now.Someone_Young, if you ever see a pic of CR, then it'll be obvious why girls like him. He doesn't see it himself (because like he said, what we see is not what other people see), but it's obvious he would be considered a hot guy.But here's the thing - just because he's hot and girls like to hang around him, IT STILL DOESN'T MEAN HE'S HAPPY. Like he said, he doesn't even consider the girls that hang out with him real friends, because they just want to be around the hot looking guy.Does that sound like fun to you? I don't think so.Point is, no matter what you look like, you have every chance of getting friends and partners in life. It may be easier for CR because he's a chick-magnet, but what if he never has a chance to find the right girl for him because all these girls always want to date him? There's two sides to every situation.Now, before you say "Chicks like hanging around with him, I would love that", just remember that CR himself says that he wish they wouldn't do that. He doesn't want to hang around with all the chicks or be a chick-magnet. To him, looking good is a curse. And anyone who thinks he's better than someone else because chicks love hanging out with him is a very shallow person on the inside.Anyway, as other people here have said, unless you get up and do something, you probably won't ever find that special friend or girlfriend. Things don't just fall in your lap. Stop thinking you're the ugliest piece of shit, stop thinking you were born messed up and that's why you can't be social. The only reason you can't be social is because you're not letting yourself be social because of "mistakes" you think you have.

fuck an a!I was about to write a post nearly identical to yours, after reading CR's post, but found yours to sum up what I thought rather nicely.Not alot to add, just to nod in agreement with what ya wrote.

I seriously bet that a shy hot person would be alot happier with life than a ugly extroverted person who can never acheive what they want to do.

Shy hot person - constant compliments, if they do happen to fall for someone, they get with them easily, and if they dont wanna be around anyone or whatever, they can have their privacy, and it all works out.

Ugly extrovert - (me) flirts constantly, talks to people constantly, gets put down by EVERY GIRL AND GUY imaginable just for being not shy, and people actually TELL me that "im not cool" and i should just "shut up and not talk as much because even though all the hot kids talk 24/7 and act annoying, ide be much better off not saying anything"
Even the GUYS in school accept the better looking guys before the ugly ones as freinds.

And it really doesnt matter to me who's happy and who's not, all i know is im probably unhappier with my situation more than anyone in my school is upset with their own unique one.

And all of yall keep saying "just because someone's hot doesn't mean they go to parties all the time" well duh shurlock.
But i've yet to hear someone say "just because someone's ugly doesnt mean they DONT go to parties"
I just wonder why????

And all the older generations saying im probably good looking:

Older people in general dont care about looks as much because society like 40 years ago didn't put as much emphasis on looks because society wasn't based on sex as much as it is now.

And also for older people, the standards seem to be different.
Whereas i think a guy that looks more like that guy on Borne Identity would be hot 30/40 years ago.
Someone who resembles more of a Johnny Depp look is hot now.
The thick, buff, husky look is really ugly now, especially to the girls that im intrested in. (girls who are into the whole rock/metal/hardcore scene are the types im intrested in, and most of them only want the sleek slender cool rockstar type)
And i guess ide have to say im pretty close to thick husky sorta look, even though im really skinny, just because i have a really wide face/nose.
And im just not into preppy girls at all.

Pretty much every person around my age has said im ugly, either online on forums like these, or at school.
I mean i know older adults can judge too, but i just feel like people my own age know exactly what sort of things are hot and not a little more.

Like my generation doesn't care about acne much at all. I've had MANY girls tell me that acne doesnt matter as long as they guy's face shape and features ar hot. And its pretty much true, because plenty of pizza face guys i know get extremely hot girls cuz they're faces are naturally hotter acne or not, and my face is relatively clear, and i dont get any girls.

I mean heck, i know if i had to choose between a brittney spears with a lil acne, or a 100000 whale woman, ide choose the first :P

Oh and for the job thing, its literally impossible for that to work because:1. I can't drive.2. my parents wont let me drive3. my parents wouldnt drive me there4. i live bout 20 mins from town so theres no bus5. no freinds, especially none of drive or would drive me6. even if i had all that, im so embarassed to go out in public much because of my looks that i barely handle school and i couldnt handle a job at all.7. if i got a job that was something where i didn t have to look at many people, ide hate it because i WANT to interact with people, but im so embarrased too because people always judge me and look at me funny, and whisper things, and call me names. I know thats true cuz i hear people all the time like at mcdonalds and stuff laugh at the ugly workers. My parents do it, my few friends do it, and even random people in line do it. I couldn't handle thinking people would do that to me to and ide like kill myself if it did.8. so im fucked.

I truly hope you get over this "Hot people are Gods, ugly people are nothings" attitude someday. It's really not healthy, and it's no wonder you can't accomplish anything with that attitude.Good luck.

Indeed.Best of luck to you, Someone_young.

Quote:Older people in general dont care about looks as much because society like 40 years ago didn't put as much emphasis on looks because society wasn't based on sex as much as it is now.You kidding me?If there's one thing society has never changed over thousands of years, it's that sex is the #1 motivator.Egypt: Families intermarried ~13 to keep bloodlines together.Rome: Emperors and rich people buy slaves just for sex. Commoners marry at age ~15Middle Ages: Henry VIII has women murdered to continue his blood line.American Revolution: Women sold themselves to British soldiers for intelligence, Syphilis #1 Casualty. American Civil War: entire city blocks of major cities become "red light districts". Syphilis returns. General Hooker allows camp followers to 'help' the men with Morale. Soldiers carried pornography into every campsite. Burnt them before battle to keep their families from finding out.1920s: Sex industry skyrockets as people have more money than they know what to do with.Post WWII: hundreds of women murdered for sharing a bed with Nazi occupiers. Baby Boom era. US doubles in population.1970s: (your time frame of 30-40 years ago) The Sex Era. If there was ever a time to find easy people, now was it. Anything Taboo is within limits. If anything, sex was WAY more rampant then than now.1990s: (our time) Teen Pregnancy down for the first time in decades.Today: Internet allows for widespread distribution of pornographic material of every form. If anything, this has proven that looks aren't everything, because "mature" and "granny" porn, as well as "amature" and "shemale" plus numerous other genres are more than thriving in today's market.

Just picking up on that last point, 'amateur' porn seems to be doing especially well - I suspect precisely because it's real people, not impossibly-perfect people.

I bet no one in ametuer porn is ASS UGLY!Bet they look normally hot, which is all i want to be.I'm not looking to be pefect, i just wanna be decent enough to beleive in myself and be decent enough to have normal girls attracted to me in the process.And i didnt mean the world has sex more now, i meant that like "relationships are more based on sex now, where as used to, love and personality counted alot more than it does now"

I bet no one in ametuer porn is ASS UGLY!How many examples do you want me to link you to to prove you wrong? Seriously, give me a number.

Well maybe they are.

But im sure theres none that look like they have down syndrome.

And even most of the really ugly ones are ugly because theyre trying to do a certain fetish (fat/hairy/old/whatever)

Do you see what you're doing here?

You say one thing you think is true (i.e. no ugly girls in amateur porn) and when you see that's not true, you come up with some other excuse as to why it must be true.

Let me explain a little better. A lot of times people have a hard time accepting compliments from other people. When they do receive compliments, they think that person must some alterior motive to say something about them. There must be some reason for them saying that, besides the fact that maybe they just want to be nice. This is also called "Disqualifying the Positive". I think that's kind of what's going on here with you a little bit.

You focus WAY too much on the looks of people. You focus on it so much that you can't even live your own life the way you want to! You don't realize that you can do all the things you say you want to do, but say you can't do because of your looks.

Stop focusing so much on looks and things will get better. I promise.

Does anyone here seriously know how many times ive tried to make friends, be social, be accpeted, and look cool throughout my school years just for every single year's people in my classes still look down on me, call me names, treat me bad, and never talk to me.I mean i have no guy friends at all, and thats probably one reaosn im not confident, every guy needs guy freinds to hang around.I only have friends who are girls and i have to constantly put up with them calling other guys hot and going up to them and flirting with them and they never do that stuff to me.Serious you people just dont realize "Hey! if your butt ugly, you really wont ever be accepted the way any hot person would be able to if they wanted to be accepted!"Me + every other loser (stress "loser" meaning "wanna-be-winner", not meaning someone who's a natural nerd and happy with that) is living proof of that.And there are just no "hot" losers at my school.