I'm going to guess, that by her reaction, you sort of said SOMETHING irritating to her... It could have simply been you saying that you considered your relationship being boyfriend-girlfriend (even though she had already said she didn't think of it that way... She probably though you were pushing the relationship thing on her).>I tell her that my situation in life is because I am REALLY poor Do you own your own computer and internet... Or are you writing this from a public library, or something? > she tells me that I have no 'ambition'.When a girl is in a low and feeling depressed and sorry for herself, you whining about your problems (instead of comforting her) irritates them (because they feel like they have BEEN nuturing to you, so now it's time for you to do some nurturing back), and so they tend to lash out. >that she doesn't have to work right now but she is anywayAgain, she's ranting about her problems. She's probably feeling overwhelmed or tired from work or something. And you probably shouldn't be drinking POP to help you with diabetes... Try something healthy. And why does diabetes stop you from doing physical stuff???? My uncle has diabetes, and he works in construction, he participates in sports, and he goes hunting. And PLENTY of people refuse to shop at Walmart, for tons of reasons (working conditions, it kills small businesses, it's got too much money, blah blah blah). It's not something I personally do, but still. I get their point.
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What do you think of...?
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And you probably shouldn't be drinking POP to help you with diabetes... Try something healthy. And why does diabetes stop you from doing physical stuff???? My uncle has diabetes, and he works in construction, he participates in sports, and he goes hunting. He doesn't even have diabetes, which is why I was trying to tell him his excuses were bullshit.
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Everyone in my family has diabetes, so I'll just go to the one I know best.My father has some serious Diabetes, and his job is, as an insurance inspector, check on houses that are changing their provider. Lots of walking, carrying, working, and thinking. Generally he starts to "run down" as time goes on in the day, so he chews on some hard candy for a sugar boost, and bam, back on track.
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If by serious diabetes you mean type 1, then your father needs to get his insulin dosage re-checked, as the goal is to not "run down" at all during any day.If he's type 2, then I dunno, becauseI know next-to-nothing about type 2
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He's type two, and he takes his pills. It's mainly his own prerogative to maintain his blood sugar levels.
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Seriously, aren't high sugar foods REALLY bad for diabetes??? It causes a spike, and then a low...
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I have been thinking over this situation now and then whenever I get a free second (which is almost all the time, these days), and I've come to some conclusions.These 'problems' about me that she said were giving her 'second thoughts', as she put it, were all present well before we had our little talk about waiting with the relationship. And then it hit me: she never wanted a relationship with me at all! Our little talk was just a new spin on the "I'm not ready for a relationship, yet" let-down speech that she gave because she thought I was a lazy-ass bum but just wanted to lead me along until she decided what she really wanted.I had been thinking that by being pushy I had ruined the whole thing, but now I see that it was likely the right thing to do. If I had not pushed, she would have just strung me along until she made up her mind. It was better to push a little than for her to lead me on for several months and waste my time until she decided to tell me the truth that I should have been told from the get-go, i.e., that she wanted nothing to do with my poor ass.I realise now that HelmsmaN (Speed?) was right, I was just another conquest to her; a big game, something to toy around with until she decided what she wanted to do with me.I shouldn't be technically so upset. I didn't really get 'used'. She spent all her gas driving to see me 60 miles away; driving me around everywhere. She paid for all the meals (well, most of them). I still have this really cool TV (okay, it's mediocre). I guess aside from being ripped through the mud emotionally and mentally, life sure could have been worse from this.Anyway. I just thought I should post a little summary of my final thoughts on the issue and thank all you good people for your excellent words of wisdom through yet another LitteQ failed relationship episode. Hopefully more news in a few months.LQ
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She spent all her gas driving to see me 60 miles away; driving me around everywhere. She paid for all the meals (well, most of them). I still have this really cool TV (okay, it's mediocre). I guess aside from being ripped through the mud emotionally and mentally, life sure could have been worse from this.Are you SERIOUS??? And you WONDER why she was pissed about the job thing????? And why she didn't want to be in a relationship with you????? DID YOU EVEN OFFER TO PAY?
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Quote:DID YOU EVEN OFFER TO PAY?Hundreds of times. And I told her she really didn't have to and that I felt bad about her always having to use all that gas. She'd just look at me with a little grin, cock her head and say "It's okay, I have a very disposable income"... and that I should "feel very special". Now, trust me, as a poor person, I was very aware of the significance of the money she was spending, and made my awareness very apparent to her. But she'd just give me the "disposable income" line and that would be that. Quote:And you WONDER why she was pissed about the job thing?????She didn't think it was bad that I got a job or didn't have one, she just thought it was bad that I was getting a job because of her—which wasn't even the case, but oh well. Quote:And why she didn't want to be in a relationship with you?????I told her straight out that when I got my job, I was going to take her on a lot of dates to make up for all the money she spent on me.LQ
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Sounds to me (assuming you're telling the truth, and I have no reason not to believe so) that she's just a bitch Move on. There are tens of millions of decent women out there.
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Ooooh, okay.... Because the way you said it previously, you sounde dlike a moocher. Sorry.
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First off, let me say that I think you did the right thing in pushing a little to pursue the relationship as well as ending any chance of it after she acted in such a selfish way.
I have been very hurt in one particular past relationship and i compare it to every relationship since. I too have a "all guys are a-holes" outlook until I meet one that proves me wrong. That is exactly what I'm looking for though.. one to prove me wrong. I know there are some very worthy men who are wonderful, but I'm skeptical of who they are (as the guy who left me heartbroken 2 years ago was such and turned out to be horrible).
After this guy, I subconsciously led guys on because I was scared, not because I wanted to. I didn't know what I wanted. I came up with excuses and didn't realize what I was doing until one guy pushed so much that it made me realize.
Perhaps she was going through this and instead of realizing/caring that she was hurting you, she decided to be a bitch and treat you unlike you deserve.. sounds like she only focused on what she feels she deserves after coming out of a bad relationship previously.
Also, I always pay for everything and my income is so not disposable. I HATE paying for stuff, but my current boyfriend is too lazy to even get a job.. He offers to pay, but I feel bad because he doesn't have the money. So I always offer. I'm rethinking a lot of stuff because he actually has no ambition.. he lives off his parents.. and he won't even look at going to college, even though he graduated HS years ago.. You got a job when you needed one. You are looking to higher education, and just because she comes up with some lame excuse doesn't mean you have no ambition. Still, I think you should have paid or not gone out. Its completely unfair for someone to pay all the time, even if they do have money for it. She says its very disposable.. but its hardly about the money. Its the principle.
Regardless if you have diabetes or not, if you feel unable to work long hours, that's your prerogative. Some people just aren't built for that and I respect that. You do what you can. That should be enough for her.
Sorry it turned into a long post, but I thought it may shed more light on it.Hope it helped.
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Originally Posted By: ponder...or not gone out.This I told her on Thursday (before the Sunday of the last time we met - a week before this little online chat that ended so wrongly). I really never got a reaction from her, so I am not sure what she even thought about the idea. There was also this: "I told her straight out that when I got my job, I was going to take her on a lot of dates to make up for all the money she spent on me." This seemed like a pretty fair solution to any money woes that either of us may have been feeling, no? So, if she really did get rid of me because of the money, I can't say I feel I was necessarily in the wrong... what, just 'cause I'm broke?As for the rest of your post, I did really think of those things. She told me about the men she used to date (one turned out to be a former sex offender!). I can understand that she doesn't want to rush into a situation and end up like that, but at the same time I don't see it as fair to me that I have to start out a FRESH and NEW relationship with all those OLD feelings and remorse being set on me... I mean, was this a fair thing for me to feel? God, I hope that was not being selfish And then I looked at the other possibility: That she has been with so many good-for-nothings that she is simply no longer willing to settle for anything other than perfect (which I obviously am not).Anyway... Look at me, I've dragged this crazy little incident out a week past when it ended Thank you for the kind words, and I wish you the very best with your current boyfriend! LQ