Somewhat depressed

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Well you guys noticed that I'm talking about my stepmother. Last night, I dealt with a gay basher for the first time in a long time. The strange thing about it was, this girl was bi. I don't know, but somehow she thought she could just sit there and tell me that i was fat and ugly for an hour or so. I just acted as though I wasn't afflicted in any way, and ended up just feeling incredibly depressed and just going to bed later. I'm not going to say that I'm the world's thinnest or fittest guy, but I'm not fat. And I've had my fair share of guys hitting on me... so I don't get where she got off that she could do that to me...It's mindless people like her that give other people bad names. Sorry guys for wasting the space. I just needed to get that out... usually writing or telling someone about it puts my mind at ease.

hugs the girl sounds like a plain old bitch, just ignore it next time (only take in the positive comments ) and if talking helps you feel better, there are lots of people here that can listen and help

I wonder if she hated that you are gay, because she desired you herself? And so she went into a particularly aggressive sour grapes mode.It's obvious from your avatar that you are far from ugly.

lol thanks guys. She tried talking to me on MSN messenger earlier and asked if someone else was online... but she said it this way: where's bryan you fat lard on a tard?I simply said: Fuck off. and then I blocked her.I'm not really feeling like listening to her. But anyways!On the other hand, I just helped another friend who used to be a cutter and relapsed...And thanks again you guys for everything! I will talk if I need to!!

Why didn't you just block her after the first nasty comment? I can tell you from experience that the worst thing someone you're trying to insult you can do to you is block you (and therefore ignore you)

I have no idea why I didn't. I mean... she was being nice at first, then just changed and started being rude to me. Then she left and I just was depressed so I didn't do anything. but anyways... I took care of it.

Well now you know what to do next time this happens.

lol yeah... just don't even put up with it...

Quote: It's obvious from your avatar that you are far from ugly. or fat.

LOL thanks guys

Well I'm not too upset about this, but it's hurting my family a little bit and I just need to get it out... but anyways, here it goes:My oldest sister was admitted into a mental hospital earlier today. She had been having marital problems with her husband who had been abusive. She joined the Air Force to get away from him, but he didn't do anything until she finished training. He sat on his ass and blew her money. Well he ended up joining after her.She recently was stationed in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He just within the past month also was stationed there. She thought that training might have changed him, but he was just as abusive... well she ended up filing for divorce.She made the mistake of talking to another man while still in the marriage with him... he reported her... this happened this weekend. He told her that he wanted her back by some time of that day or he'd call the police on her, so she reluctantly went back to her...He called earlier today. We weren't home, so he left a message... so my grandmother calls him back and he tells her that she just went crazy and they took her to a mental hospital...My grandmother has been wanting to go up there to see her, but she's just been too busy. She also doesn't want to leave me here in her house alone... but we know so many people that I would be fine alone. I think that she needs to go see Jennifer as soon as possible... but that's just me...Sorry about the drastic post... I just needed to say it to someone... it is kinda depressing, and I wouldn't mind some feedback about what to do... thanks again guys.

This is terrible. :frowning: It's horrible when anyone is abused like that.
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He told her that he wanted her back by some time of that day or he'd call the police on her
I can't imagine why the police would be interested. Are married women whose divorce isn't final not allowed to talk to other men? That used to be dangerous to the divorce a hundred years ago; I didn't think it would matter now.
You're old enough to be in a house alone! Or can you both visit her together?

Well her being in the Air Force... that's a massive no no. So she could very well be arrested for doing it.Well we've gotten into contact with the hospital since and have been able to talk to her. She's fine... but she is mentally unstable with the stress that has balled up. She's going to look for help and get over all of this and leave her husband once and for all. So things are doing better since I posted.It's pretty sad that someone 5000 miles away from her (me) knows before most people that she works with. They don't even know where she is, but I'm trying to get up with them and tell them what's going on.Well I can't go because classes have started back. She's just one of those people who doesn't really trust their children/grandchildren home alone because she thinks that I'll do something stupid or not even get up to go to classes. So that's why she doesn't want to leave me. It's not like I don't use an alarm clock as it is! points to white clock on night stand

That's a shitty situation. About all you do is offer what support you can and encourage her, in whatever manner she'll be most receptive to, to get away and stay away from this guy.Many times people in abusive relationships can leave but once they do they feel completely alone and end up going back. That's why it's just as or even more important to give them the longterm emotional support they need after they've left.

There is more to it than that though. There is a familiarity to abuse that people are comfy with.No matter how horrible a situation, if you're used to it, you miss it.New things create discomfort, and sometimes, that discomfort is worse than the abuse. Experience is speaking here. 16+years, and FINALLY am comfortable with "normal", or maybe healthy is the right term.

Very true, I didn't think about comfort in the familiar and knowing what's coming next, regardless of how bad it may be. It can be less frightening than the unknown.

It took me a while, but there is a TRUE fear in success. Strictly, because it is the unknown. Suppose I am still in a bit of that rut. but "Knowledge is Power"...lolSchool house rock never did anything about abuse though did it?

How do you help someone get past those kinds of fears? Is there anything you can do other than let them know that fear may be their biggest enemy in gaining a better life?

As far as abuse goes, your catch them, EVERYTIME. It is tough work. But, you do what you can, to hand them "a better way", until they find it on their own.The success thing, I guess, it is the same, you expose them to it as OFTEN as possible, so they become comfortable in a better situation.

I just need a little thing on my computer that tells me each of your names! All of you know one another's names, and I know a few, but I can never EVER!!! remember them...Thank you guys for all of your support and your advice... it's not going to be too hard for her to cope with leaving him because they hadn't been together for a little over a year and a half before just recently. But at least she is now doing the right thing by looking for professional help rather than trying to figure it out on her own... I'm just hoping that everything gets straightened out and she is still able to continue with the Air Force...