I know this is probably a question for my doc but I'm not seeing her for a month yet so I'm gonna ask it here.I was diagnosed some time ago as a high functioning autistic. Is there like a medication or treatment for high functioning autistics or aspergers people that can enable them to interact with other human beings?I'm tired of being isolated in my own little world. A2A is the only outlet I have. I never speak to people. I never remember their names. When they talk I kinda just go into my own world or get interested in the lines on the building or on the floor. For as much as I ramble on here, in real life I kinda feel... well isolated. I can't take being touched but by a select few... very few, maybe one. I can't talk but to very few... more than one but not much more. I'm sick of it. I have one friend and I don't see him much anymore.I have tried and tried and tried to be outgoing and gregarious and I think I am but apparently I'm not. I know the technical procedures to approach people but I just can't do 'em or maybe its more like I don't have the interest to approach them even though I long for a human connection. (I think the latter is more it.) It takes me literally months to get to a point that I can talk to a person with relative ease. I'm tired of that. I'm tired of this way of living.This is the only place I have any friends that I can talk to. That's not good. I know some of the people here mean far more to me than I do to them... and that's fine. It's the net. That's how it goes I know that and don't expect anything more. But damn, it hurts when you think your close to someone and they just drift away, like some people I used to talk to daily. I need real friends. I crave interaction with people but regardless how I try and how outgoing and friendly I think I am it apparently isn't enough. I just want to be able to talk to people. It's not that I put people off by what I talk about, like I probably do here. It's that I just can't talk... until I've known you for months.I'm tired of this isolation. I just want to be able to speak to people. It frustrates me and pisses me off.
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It frustrates me and pisses me off
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I have to agree with a lot that Rad said.Also I think of you as a good friend, I wish we lived closer because I think we could be best of friends to be honest. We share so much in common. I can even relate to this post you made, last few years I find myself isolating myself more and more. There are times here on the boards I have something to say about a particular topic and I absolutely say nothing because I simply feel isolated inside myself so why should anyone listen to my advice? I used to be very out going and had such a large group of Real Life friends, now I can pretty much only count two people and one of this is Adam.It's hard and also frightening to get back out there and put yourself on the line. But for human connection it's something we must all do. I think the first step is accepting ourselves, which that in itself can be hard.HUG
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>>>"It's hard and also frightening to get back out there and put yourself on the line."
But even when I was out there I was never out there. The only way I ever dated, let along got married, was because people pursued me. Those few found they could like me in spite of my standoffishness, distance and what appears to be coldness... though it's not.
I was never out there. I watched how everybody else was out there thats why I feel I can give advice to people. I saw what they would do that was successful and what they would do that was a failure. I would study people from afar but never become a part of them even on occasion when I could be the life of the party... as long as the party was small enough and I knew the people well enough. Maybe that's it, until I get to know people, I approach them as specimens of study and not as people. ...I don't know. Whatever it is I can't manage to talk to 'em.
I think maybe... it's just to hard to explain.
_________________________________________________________________@ Rad
>>>"I seriously doubt that that could possibly be much different in person."
I am. If I met you in person I doubt I could talk to you other than the simplest of pleasantries. I have a way of just disappearing. Beyond that my hesitation in interacting with people makes them think me a snob or unfriendly or hateful. Maybe I am. I just can't bring myself to interact with people.
There are probably only two people on this board that I could actually talk to in person. That's Chance and Eddie... maybe Lish. Even then I don't know. I mean that as no offense to anyone else, understand... so please, please, please don't take it that way. It's just that those two I've talked with more than most and it been enough to start to feel comfortable with 'em.
It's not shyness, it's something I can't really explain.
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@ CR
Quit deleting your damn posts! :wink: It was a post of value because it lets me know that there are others out there who feel and go through the same shit as me. Never forget that letting some one know you know what there going through is sometimes worth more than all the advise they may gather from everybody else.
Advise is useful and often wise but saying I understand is comforting.
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I as usual don't know what to say. But it's odd that your posts here are so intelligent and moving (how many times have I pm'd you about how beautiful your post was?), but in 'real life' you don't like speaking to people. It's kinda sad to think people in 'real life' miss out on that. big hugs
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This probably won't help much but I hear about factors that may contribute to autism on the news all the time. Some of them are things that have to do with diet and such ( i think one was gluten?), and the removal of them has apparently helped some people. Maybe you could look into something like that?It's too bad that there are no medications available to treat autism...Other than that I would just keep trying to connect with people. I hope things get better for you.
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"but in 'real life' you don't like speaking to people."I do like speaking to people... very much. I just don't know how. It's like I just collapse inward when I'm around other people. There's nothing there. I have great conversation and beautiful arguments in my head but that's rather unfulfillling.I think it's just to hard to explain what it's like, but I'll try. When I'm in a social situation I'm removed from myself. For instance when I dream (I can control my dreams) I just remove my mental self from the action and watch what is happening from afar, even though the mental image of myself may still be in the dream. That's what I do with strangers. My mental self is removed from the situation sitting back watching, sizing up, inferring, studying everything. Not just the person, and say how their sitting there, but the room they're in, the way the drapes hang on the rod, the way the vacuum sweeper left a pattern in the rug, the folds in what they're wearing. That shit works fine in my dreams, it makes them very vivid and seems to give me complete control over them but in real life it makes me distant and seemingly cold.Other than on the net there are only three people I can think of that I can have a normal conversation with... well maybe not normal but not strained.@ Rad>>>"I'm hoping you have lots of relatives to commune with in the mean time?"As for having family no I don't. There all dead but my wife and mom. The few that remain well... you know the old saying, "The closer the kin, the deeper it goes in."@ leelee>>>Some of them are things that have to do with diet and such ( i think one was gluten?), and the removal of them has apparently helped some people. Maybe you could look into something like that?I'm going off to search it now.
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What about music? I mean, I know its not an expensive drug or anything, but a great party beat or a song that really gets you pumped has been proven to make people wanna be more sociable and get out, get moving.
I read a kind of funny blog post on it one day... *searches*
http://emptyverse.org/Lyric.html -
i know. i thought it sounded dumb .....
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>>>"... you might feel like the kind of people that surround you don't really match the way you are for real."
Yeah, I'm sure that's major limiting factor for me. Everybody around here are like Hank, Peggy or Bobby Hill. They may be funny on T.V. but in real life it gets old quick.
>>>"...maybe practicing martial arts in a class. You could be exercising with the people for months before you have to actually talk to them, and then you will have something to talk about."
I hadn't thought about that. That might be a good idea. I don't know how well speaking to people would go but it might be worth a try.
For some reason that brought to mind when I was a kid all my step-sisters friends use to ask her if I was retarded. I guess because back then I used to rock back and forth pretty bad... don't do that so much anymore... and wouldn't make eye contact or hardly speak. I always got sent along with her to supposedly keep her in line, I guess. Hell she was two or three years older than me, I don't know what my bitch step-mother thought I was gonna do.
Don't ever do that to your kids.
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@ Java
I have read that music with certain rhythms produces a better rest and can aid in healing. Also, that there is some music that you can play for your aged pets with arthritis that promotes blood flow and works as pain management. Don't know how it works but there seems to be something to it.
I never thought about music for dealing with social situations, it does help with depression, I know.
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@ Rad
Tried it some time ago. I was on a dart league. I was always kinda on the outside. I could never bring myself to talk anyone but the one person I already knew who was and still is my best friend.
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@ CR
Doesn't matter how it sounds, as long as it's supportive.
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wish i could be there for you, buddy. i am not sure i understand how you can think so well, and be so compassionate and articulate in your writing, yet do not do the same in person.... where's the missing link?
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I cant tell ya jack shit man, wish I could, and ill be able to by monday.My cousin is autistic, but I only talk to his dad on weekends. Only time I can get a hold of him. Hes in San Diego, but as my uncles got the dough, hes got the best of care you can get, all the advantages. Ill hit him up and see if I can find out anything about meds and what not.I Know some shit is available because while he is not highly functioning, he was able to go toa special school and because of just that school, he has a license.Now I wouldnt want to be a passenger in that car, but he is legal to drive.Ill hit him up over the weekend and see if I can find out anything about it for you, let ya know moday.
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have to agree with ya Rad, but in my case i have to be the entertainment, not the one entertained.There are several people here I wish I lived closer to and could hang out once ina while with, your one of em, I think you disagree with me enough to not be a push over and bore me with always picking my side, I know scottys that way too, plus me and him got some of the same ideas on violence, Eddie, Roc, SDP, Inteligible, even Helms, Bobbo I could definatly go for a camp trip with him and a bag, alot of people here I wish I knew in real life instead of jstu the net. and Just because I left off anyones names doesnt mean I dont include you in that list.
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" I always got sent along with her to supposedly keep her in line, I guess. Hell she was two or three years older than me, I don't know what my bitch step-mother thought I was gonna do."I do that now, with my two oldest boys.THe 17 year old is the responsible one, I send him to keep the younger 15 year old in line and not make some of the choices hes made in the past, but I send the 15 year old with the 17 to keep him safe.Hes sorta small, and a comedian, not a fighter, the younger is bigger (shit hes bigger than I am!) and will fight, he protects his little big brother.If the two are together i worry so much less than if either one is alone.
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I dont have your problems or scottys and out side of Julie, I have only 3 friends I know I can count on.I rank people as friends only when I can count on em.other than that they are people I know, and some I get along with,not friends, friends to me are special. I have 3.Im highly outgoing, meet new people all the time, Im the center of attention no matter where I go. People love me, Julies always pissed because girls hit on me and try to hang on me. I have no problems meeting people, its giving a shit about them, or trusting them.those 3 and Julie I trust with my life, with the lives of my children. Having few friends is not a curse, at least not to me. It just shows me who I can count on and who can count on me.There is several on this site that I think could be friends, but it is the net, no real way to know with so much distance between us, no real challenges to face, no real way to see th real person instead of just what they present on the web.
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Originally Posted By: Grvtykllr" I always got sent along with her to supposedly keep her in line, I guess."I do that now, with my two oldest boys.Well, she (my step-sister) was a mega slut. I got sent along to try and keep her from getting pregnant before she got out of high school. She didn't get pregnant but my presence didn't keep her from spreading like warm peanut butter....it just scarred me.
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Thats a fucked up thing, I could of fucked girls when they had little tag along brothers and I was in high school, but I didnt, what sort of asshole bastard would fuck a girl with her brother there? Doesnt matter if he can see or not, he knows whats going on. and what sort of sister would gofor that?
Thats a fucked up child hood scotty, at least your old enough now to know it had nothing to do with you, wasnt your fault or anything you created, all that sorta facts. -
Step, step, step.... step sister. I don't want anybody thinking the whore is related to me. She's married to some multi-millionaire now, he named his 120' yacht after her. They spend most of their time cursing the world.She's come a long was from getting caught bending over the pulpit for the baptist preacher... that had just married her to her ex-husband.
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your rihgt step step STEP! however I have a step sister, and I have step kids, it just never enters my mind that they are step, family is family. I suppose im one of the rare finds in that way of thinking.One step kid moved in with us recently, his dad tossed him on his ass, now that hes dadless, I just sorta assumed the role, out at fucking 1 am towing his car back after it broke down, giving him gas money, all that shit, its odd to have a new son thats already 18.Even got me to work on that fucking chevy cav he has! put him on our insurance, added him to our cell phone plan, all that shit. Hes just a step officially I guess, its just not how I think of him. I dunno, I dont differentiate between blood and step, just how i am.
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I'm the same way. I have a step sister and brother. For the past 15 years we have always introduced each other as sister/brother.
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Quote: your rihgt step step STEP! however I have a step sister, and I have step kids, it just never enters my mind that they are step, family is family. Inot too many know my family is actually blended too. i don’t have step siblings but their all half siblings so i guess it's a bet different. but for my older brother my dad isn't his dad but he calls him dad and is his dad....he adopted ryan when he married my mom. the twins are dad's and mom to them would be step daughters but she thinks of them as hers and Sara (and the bitch too) call her mom. confused yet? lol woman has boy, woman meets man at college, man has twin girls. woman and man marry and out comes me! LMAOwe introduced as mom , dad, sons, daughters. me.. i;m always introduced like, my baby, our baby, my little bro or my baby bro. they always got to add that little or baby ti the introduction ...grrrrr