CONFUSED!!!! HELP ME!!!

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POST IS KIND LONG BUT U GOTTA READ ALL TO GET AN UNDERSTANDING...

Background: Well i have this friend who i could talk to about anything... we were like brothers... we kind of completed each other being that he was the loud and crazy who got all the girls on and i was the smart one who was jus relaxed... we were like brothers until one day while over my house he diceded to show me his dick... (well i was very confused because i knew it was wrong but the feelings i had felt so right... and im not gay because i know that i have feelings for girls also).... so he said that he was curious to see what mine was like... but after hesitating for a while i decided to show him mine also... then we made it seem like we were joking around because mine turned out to be longer than his lol... but after a few days thing led to another and we started pleasuring each other(no sex!)... but then one day after a couple of months he decided to take charge... he stuck it inside of him.... that didnt turn out too good because i came immediately... which realy bothered me lol.... but i always tried to talk to him and ask him why we do these things but he always avoids the question..... i think he's feeling a little guilty... but now that time has gone by we dont communicate as much but he came over my house like last week and he "pleasured me" agin... agin i asked him why buyt he jus couldnt explain why....

PROBLEM: being that we have done these things has left me very confused as to what level of friendship we are on... i dont think we are on the same page because i think about him all the time but i dont think he thinks about me... and now that we arent communicating that much, i see him going down a wrong path to life and he is hanging with the wrong people... HELP ME!!!

Just a quick stab at it. You've become his "fuck buddy." He can't handle the reality of what it is you two do or have done together so he avoids you when he's not horny. (You did say he's not around, right?) When he wants to get off he shows up to pay a visit to his friend.

I would imagine it has nothing to do with not liking you he just can't handle, himself, what he like to do with you because he probably believe it's wrong. But, then again he still wants to do it and still likes you. He just can't handle the part of himself you've come to represent.

There and remember my psychological evaluation is worth exactly what you paid for it.

As for what you can do about him heading down the wrong road, I'm sorry to say probably nothing. We all choose our own paths.

Old Folks is right.. we all have to choose our own paths. One other thing that I can think of is that he gets on with all the girls as you so put it, he feels that he has alot to lose if you tell people. He probably knows that he'll be bullied because of it. This could be the reason that he's avoiding you, as well as not coming to terms with it. All I'd have to say to you is, that sometimes you just have to do what you feel is right. You understand though, that you cannot tell anyone else outside of the A2A community. Most things that happen between friends like this, should stay between friends. I hope things turn out okay for you.

thanks for the advice... but how do i get over things like that.... or should i forget about it???

Are you saying you had feeling for this guy?

If so, I'm not really sure. Just count it as a lesson learned.

See if anybody else will respond about that.

I mean your choices are limited:You can cut it off and risk ruining your friendship.You can keep doing what your doing and get your feelings hurt.You can try to just be a fuck buddy and nothing more.Or you can talk to him about it and see what he things, I know he avoids the question, but you have to sit him down and talk to him.There's nothing wrong with what you're doing. You here about fuck buddies all the time. But if you are hurting or miserable because of it then you need to take some action. Don't keep pleasuring him if you feel like he doesn't appreciate it.

to OldFolks... yes i had feelings but i didnt know exactly what they were... i didnt want to jump into things and jus say i loved him because i never really felt "love" before.... but i cant really explain the feelings i had was like i felt safe and secure around him... AHHHH its soo confusing because i love him as a friend/bro but i hate him for the hurt...to Felix... the thing is is that i really wasnt the one doing the pleasuring.... which kind of makes it confusing because its like if he keeps coming to me to do these things why do i feel so bad about it??? and i kind of appreciates what he does in a way but he really isnt appreciating himself for what he is doing....

If what he's doing is hurting you, to me, it sounds like its time to move on and find someone who is more than just convenient. It's time to find someone who can be your boyfriend, someone who isn't going to just use you for sex, someone who will appreciate you.Your finding out that sex without love is a pretty empty experience, even if "as empty experiences go it's a pretty good one", it still doesn't make for long term happiness and fulfillment for most people. I think maybe it's time to move on and find someone who not only desires your body but desires the complete you. He either needs to be more for you or you need to move on.There's no reason you don't deserve it all.

It seems to me that both you and your friend have very mixed feelings that you find hard to reconcile and handle. In your friend's case there is a stronger lust component than for you; while for you there is a stronger affection component. And both of you feel guilty.It's part of the rich tapestry of life, that people experiment with things, and that sometimes two people together are looking in different directions. Don't beat yourself or anyone else up over it.

i went through almost the same thing when i was like 18, my friend always joked around about stuff. one night riding around he said something about i should just suck it so i said ok i will then and we just laughed it off. then later that night at his househe asked if i was serious. i had jacked off with a friend before and always wanted to do more. i was afraid but said yes so i started to jack him and then put his dick in my mouth but got afraid and we stopped. i ended up sucking his dick several times in parking lots but he would never cum and was very homophobic and just imagined a girl was doing it. he would always get nervous and we would stop. he would keep asking me why i wanted to suck him. then he ended up telling some friends in our church youth group that i asked to suck him and i quickly became an inside joke yet he left out the rest of the story. one day in his basement he leaned in to kiss me but i backed away and then later he told me to pick being a friend or "something more" so i picked being his friend. he says later he was messing around that he wasnt going to kiss me and wouldnt be more. he kept playing it off as a joke like he does everything. i have sucked him a couple of more times and could never talk him into fucking me. i dont ever want to date a guy i dont love them like that by the way. even when hes home for college he doesnt ever want to be around me and makes up excuses unless hes horny and hints around for me to suck him. i think its his way of dealing with what hes done.

=/ wow... err.. i couldnt finish reading that. grammar is your friend =)

well i was in a hurry and grammar is not my best thing, but this isn't a grammar forum so o well hahaha

Originally Posted By: curiousboy85but this isn't a grammar forum so o well hahaha Yeah, but it helps to read your posts better and not think that you're lazy or something.

Welcome to A2A, curiousboy85. It sounds like your friend is bi, at least in terms of sexual interest, but doesn't want to admit it to himself. Perhaps the same is true for you?