I don't know what to do anymore..

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I know, this is going to sound all "emo" and the likes..Don't worry, I know it does. Over the past couple years I've just slowly gone down in this endless spiral and life just doesn't seem to let up. I've lost close family members, 3, in the last year and a half. I've just struck out with every single possible girl who shows an interest in me, and I turned away the ONLY girl who has ever liked me. I feel like an outsider at school, ever since a year ago, for some reason my friends have just been constantly distancing themselves from me, never inviting me to any of the things they do after school, and some of them completely ignore me at school, and only acknowledge my existence when we're alone - that's the only time they treat me like they used to. I hate everything about myself, and it's starting to seem like lots of people at my school do as well. I hate my weight, I hate my athleticism(or - lack of), I hate how I don't even seem to have any really good friends any more. I just hate it all and have no clue of what to do to fix it, I want all this to just go away...but it doesn't seem like it ever will. There are so many more things that have just been going wrong as of late, and it seems like the only possible solution is to just end it all - I've done everything, tried to change my personality, tried to be more outgoing, tried to become more athletic, but it's been almost a year..It just hasn't worked. I hate everything.. I don't know what it is, I've tried to talk to people about this, but I can't talk to my parents about this, I definitely can't talk to friends. I've ran out of ideas, and then I remembered about this place, and you all helped me out before..Well, here's my problem; I f***ing hate my life - I hate myself, I hate it all. . What do I do? I am literally out of ideas at this point, and I've resorted to asking you all at A2A because I just can't get help from anyone else..

Hi Benjamin, I think the key is to work on that hate you have for yourself. When you have more confidence in yourself, other people will be less distant (and their attitude will matter less).Changing personality, becoming more athletic and losing weight can all be helpful things, but they are things you should only expect to do slowly. The important thing is to realise that it doesn't make you a bad person if you are introspective and don't open up to other people easily; it doesn't make you a bad person if you are not athletic; it doesn't make you a bad person if you are overweight. These things can be difficulties but they do not make you worth any less.Try to accept yourself as you are now, then ask yourself what direction you want to go in. Don't try to live someone else's life - live as works best for you. You will soon be leaving school and entering a very different environment, with far more opportunities for new friends and for being yourself.

Originally Posted By: Ineligible

Hi Benjamin, I think the key is to work on that hate you have for yourself. When you have more confidence in yourself, other people will be less distant (and their attitude will matter less).

You make it sound do easy - but it isn't.

And thanks for the reply but I just don't know how to build up any confidence..

I would say start with self acceptance and then start working on little things you want to change. As those little things add up your confidence will improve and the overall view you have of yourself will most likely improve as well. As this happens you will be more able to meet bigger challenges with the knowledge you can overcome.With the change in confidence much of the rest of what you desire will naturally come about.

I know it isn't easy, but you're not expected to make huge strides all at once. Any tiny step towards feeling better about yourself is a move in the right direction.

I'll give it a try I guess.

Thanks Ineligible and OldFolks. I hope little strides will work :frowning:

Keep in touch! Support and encouragement are important.

Hmm its been a while since i posted so forgive the rustyness It doesnt sound emo , (and god i hate that word) but anyway back on point , its ok to sometimes feel a little down with things , its a sin curve (sorry had a math exam the other day and yeah ...) it has its ups and downs .. things will pick up eventually i can guarantee it Sounds to me like its time to look for some new friends .... you can still be friends with the old ones , however , why not try joining a club of something you like , not necessarily athletic , and i mean something that you really enjoy , it could be in school or out , but if you join an activity you like, odds are , that you already have a few things in common with the people around you , and this can often lead to conversations and even friendships.I know its tough to sometimes hard to see past the good stuff , but its important that you try and stay positive ! As for hating everything ... For people around you to like you , you need to like yourself (not to the stage of cockyness but you need to be at least comfortable in who you are). Its important because people love people for who they are (generally speaking) so its important that they like you for yourself rather than something that you are pretending to be .... You should only change yourself for you... not for anyone else !! You need to make the changes for yourself.Talking to friends is a great way to release anger stress or any other emotion ... you have friends here and we are always around if ya just need a shoulder/ear.tor x