Okay so like about 2 or 3 weeks ago i met this girl on facebook. I thought she was pretty cute, and she lives like 40 minutes away in a town i always go to. So i got her AIM and started talking to her, i thought she was a pretty cool girl and then later on i got her number. Then things just started adding up and like im just a really flirty guy, so now were officially "talking"[if you know what i mean]. A lot of people already know were "talking" because i guess she told her friends and her friends told other people etc. which makes me kinda annoyed. Okay so anyways we were supposed to hang out last night for the first time but something came up and i couldn't. And then tonight i started talking to one of my girl cousins who goes to the same school she goes too and i guess talks to her in class and she told me some things about her. She was telling me how other guys think she isn't pretty, in fact think shes ugly, that shes really immature and weird, and that she looks better in pictures... So im thinking im making a mistake, now i don't even know if i should see her anymore because i don't want to lead her on even more. Honestly, i don't like her like that i just think shes pretty and i want to get to know her better and see how things turn out. I don't know what to do, i know i really shouldn't care what people think or say but it does affect a little about what i think about her. Like what if she looks totally different than her pictures, and i end up not liking her? Then what do i do do i just stop talking to her? I mean i don't want to hurt her or anything. Im just really confused now.
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I think im making a mistake..
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you're bent on looks. it's totally fine.I suggest you don't meet her because you'd most likely end up hurting her feelings from what I've gotten from your post. You're too busy concerned with what other people think about her and it's making you doubt it when you've been talking to her for her long? If you're not friends with her enough to trust her judgement better than the others then no, you shouldn't meet her. She doesn't need to be hurt by another person who "thinks she isn't pretty".
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If you don't like her "like that" then, what the problem is? Unacceptable to have unattractive friends?? If that is the case, then perhaps you need to re-evaluate what you want from the relationship. If it turns out that you were looking for a possible intimate relationship, maybe further on down the line and she is not up to your standards, then that's how the cookie crumbles. You don't need to satisfy anybody but yourself at the end of the day. Think of this first.
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Originally Posted By: blackmanoncampusIf you don't like her "like that" then, what the problem is? Unacceptable to have unattractive friends?? If that is the case, then perhaps you need to re-evaluate what you want from the relationship. If it turns out that you were looking for a possible intimate relationship, maybe further on down the line and she is not up to your standards, then that's how the cookie crumbles. You don't need to satisfy anybody but yourself at the end of the day. Think of this first. Thats true, but i feel like shes sort of desperate or something because we've only been talking for 2 weeks and shes talked to one of my friends and she was already talking about a relationship between us two, and i don't even like her like that yet. But yeah your kinda right. Like the problem i have is that what if i end up not liking her how do i let her go?
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When in doubt, be honest, man. If she continues to get the "vibe" that things could progress, then you need to sit her down and explain to her the situation before shit gets out of hand. "Look, I'm not sure if we're on the same page. I have this feeling that you think we may be something that we're not...yet..." explain the positives of her, but thoroughly explain that she's not what you're looking for in a relationship right now. Or if you want a less assertive way that can be expressed by things you say and do, but still maintain a light and civil conversation, you can:A) use words that let her know her place in your life. B) disqualify her from being anything else other than a friend. C) make it seem like she can do much better than you for anything other than a friend. How does that happen? Think of every other time you've heard, "You're too good of a friend..." Just use some of the things you've heard. If you say something and she agrees with you on a certain topic: "Wow, that's awesome! See that's why we get along so well as friends!!" or, "You think so too? See, I can already tell you're gonna be a close friend of mine..." etc. etc.