My V. Card Status

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I am a virgin. Why is this (they ask if I am a virgin or not) something that guys bring up so early? I've just been chatting with guys, I haven't made it official with anyone. I haven't even went out on a date with anyone. Why does it matter s oearly? I guess the guys want to make sure they're not getting into a possible relationship with someone that's not going to have sex with them until marriage. I don't want to say yes and they get all the preconceived notions (that don't describe me) in their heads. It's such a personal questions, I couldn't fix my mouth to ask them someone something like that when I barely know them.

I personally, just like to know things about people, and I hate playing unnecessary waiting games. The 'oh thats too early to ask' think never went well with me.However. Most guys probably want to know because Virgins are the better fuck as far as most guys looking to get laid are concerned. You have 0 experience so you don't know how bad they are and you'll be a "really tight fuck." due to never being penetrated. I would keep my eye out with said guys

Guys who ask that question are generally not very interested in you as a person. They're just looking out for themselves and what they think they can expect to get from you in the sex department. At the very least, they've shown they're not very considerate of you by not being too concerned with possibly making you uncomfortable. If you're truly interested in a person, there are other personal questions that are more likely to come up first before the issue of sex. However, people are more likely to ask such questions over the internet as it tends to feel less personal...so perhaps tell the guy you're not comfortable with that question yet and see how he reacts.

Well a guy asked me this over the phone. He felt like it wasn't a big deal and I shouldn't have an issue with talking about it. He also mentioned me being 25 and I should not still be a virgin...and I went on making a statement that he was saying it as if loosing your virginity is some right of passage into to womanhood and that I feel I and a woman regardless of my status. I didn't like his response.

Quote:However. Most guys probably want to know because Virgins are the better fuck as far as most guys looking to get laid are concerned. You have 0 experience so you don't know how bad they are and you'll be a "really tight fuck." due to never being penetrated. spoken like a true virgin.

I'm kind of not feeling this guy. There is something about him that isn't sitting well with me. I get the feeling he thinks he can change my mind. I'm not sure what is is as of yet. I think we're not compatible. I asked him how would he feel if I wasn't going to have sex him for a long time, and blah, blah, blah... I'm thinking he thinks he's okay with it... I don't know. I don't believe that he will. In the same conversation he said that being in a relationship 6-8 months and not having sex is too long and after about a month or two it should be the right time to have sex, i.e. expected. I think this guys think I was born yesterday. I think he thinks I don't know who I am or what I want. I think I have to make myself clear, and the hell with it if we never talk again.I know most people see sex a not a big deal (though it's often a big part of relationships now days) and something that is casual, so I imagine our relationship wouldn't work out. I plan of waiting 'til I find someone I want to marry. The things I've heard, the way I see people treat each other...and me as a young, black, woman...sex is not looking appealing. I knew one guy, my ex, that if I was going to sleep with someone it would be him, but I wasn't into him. I don't quite know what it was, I wasn't attracted to him as much as he was to me.I felt with the guy on the phone he's into looks, and that if he got to know me more he wouldn't be into because he'd realize we aren't that compatible. I kept asking him wanted he wanted in a partner and he kept say 'you', me, but I don't think he knows me at all. I don't think he knows what he is getting in to.What do you guys think? Guys, what do you think

If you have a bad feeling about this particular guy, you are probably right.

I think you're right. Anymore input?? Guys...?

MY OH MY! My intuition was right. This guy is a clown. Basically he drunk called me and I just got off the phone with him about 15 minutes ago. He was saying how immature I was because of how poor I am and stay with my mom, and go to school (we all can't be as unfortunate as this guy) , how I'll never get a man. Apparently he is upset because he doesn't have a woman at the moment. I'm pretty sure he had an audience, he was really putting on a show. A quote a friend used, "A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts", and boy did that phrase fit so well tonight. I am so thankful to God I didn't get myself into another stupid situation (see a post from a while back). I plan on following my instinct. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Jesus, you get your props tonight!!

I think it is cool when a girl is a virgin, I see it as a girl having respect for herself. im a virgin, probable just because the situation has never arose lol. im a guy and if a girl came on to me, it would be hard to say no. I think it could be easier for a girl, but who knows, im not one.

What if you don't find the girl attractive, would you still sleep with her?

Originally Posted By: TangledWebWhat if you don't find the girl attractive, would you still sleep with her? I hung out with a chick that wasn't attractive but not unattractive(if you can make sense of that)... hold on, let me re-phrase part of that; this girl slept over on 5 different occasions. I could have been laid each time but just didn't want too. ??? I kept thinking maybe my thoughts would change because she was a pretty cool chick, hence the 5 times and not once.

I think there has to be somewhat of an attraction, unless you just want to get laid, people grow on you, I used to think people did not look good, and now they look good to me once I get to know them and figure out they are cool people, I know good looking girls I would not sleep with because they are duuushbags... not that they would sleep with me to begin with but I would give them the pleasure of that.

You shouldn't be ashamed to be a virgin. I don't necessarily know about respecting a girl more because she's a virgin. What if a girl is raped? Is she not respected because she's no longer a virgin? Anyway, guys who are concerned about your virginity so early need not be paid attention to. Since my first semester here I've had guys that I met ask me in the same breath "I like Lord of the Rings too, are you a virgin?" I'm like "version? of what" [oblivious... yes].It's not that hard to say no, at least not for me. It's better not to just throw your virginity away to some random guy who doesn't even know you like that, but someone you actually care about and love. Ya know?I like my v. card status. You'll learn to appreciate it lol

I don't expect respect from v-card status, but on who I am as a person and how I treat people.I got the feeling he was the wrong person for me as soon as he asked me that.It's not hard to say no, it's hard to say yes. I don't feel like I'll ever want to.

i always ask if im getting on with them well, because as im a virgin, id rather be with someone who is as well, and so they not dissapointed

I never understood this, really...disappointed. If the person really like/love you how would they be disappointed? They've been waiting to share this moment with you, and blah, blah, blah... Now if he/she just wanted to have sex and do something that feels good, then I guess it would matter to him or her if the sex was "bad".Another thing, how can sex be "bad"? I think it has to do with level of attraction between people and what they each like. What's everyone's thought?

Originally Posted By: TangledWebAnother thing, how can sex be "bad"? I think it has to do with level of attraction between people and what they each like. What's everyone's thought? Sex can be bad, even with someone you are madly in love with. As much emotion and feelings that can go into it, its still a raw physical act that can go wrong. Because sex is seen as such a deeply romantic thing as portrayed in films, people can be quite afraid of doing things wrong or badly so they tend to imitate what they have seen and heard about, either from friends or tv and movies. The one place they typically don't get their information from is their partner, so they start whacking away (excuse the phrase) in such a manner that their partner isn't comfortable with or simply doesn't enjoy but the partner says nothing due to the same mindset. People can have a wonderful relationship together but communication can still breakdown when it gets to the bedroom and this can cause one or both of them to suffer in silence. People are afraid to ask questions as it is perceived as a sign of inexperience, but to me, asking your partner what they enjoy and letting them know that they can guide you to increase their pleasure is the way to assure mutual pleasure.

Good answer!I don't know what else to say, maybe I'll think of something later.