Am I carrying the next son of God?

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I hate to sound like another idiotic virginal teenager, but
I'm a virginal teenager, 17, female. Today the boyfriend & I decided to get to the fingering/handjob stage for the first time, & were a touch irresponsible with fingers & fluids & stuff. We washed our hands after he came, but I touched myself with small amounts of precum on my hands. My friends are all harassing me for worrying, saying I would have to name the kid Jesus, but is there a remote chance that I could be pregnant?
Also, on Fertility chart this chart, I would be between days 27 & 30, so very infertile, if I'm understanding this right.

_PLEASE don't suggest I get on birth control. If that were an option I would already be on it.

PLEASE don't suggest emergency contraception, I can't get it in my state.

PLEASE don't tell me how stupid I am. Believe me, I already know.
_

Believe me, I want some, but I don't trust barrier methods alone, & that's all I can get right now. So it looks like I've got to keep it at least partially in my pants until next June.

No, you're not pregnant.