yeah i kinda figured, i had just never heard of it
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Ya know what really grinds my gears
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Personally, the ones that annoy / don't make sense to me more are the roadside ones where the person caused their own death out of stupidity. There used to be one (don't know how long it was there) at a road for someone who died going 80 in a 35, which was right by a residential area and not even partially straight. I just think, "Here lies an idiot." Otherwise, if the sign/whatever is only there for less than a month after the death, I don't see too much of a problem with it.
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While I was driving home last night I was thinking about this. I think my view of death is very different from that in modern America.When I was 19 my dad died his funeral was the 64th I had been to in my life. I'm sure I've been to at least that many in the fifteen ensuing years since then, probably more. I come from a small town that's a fairly close knit community. The town literally closes down for some funerals. On top of that I'm NDN and we go our extra mile when somebody dies.I contrast that with what I see in my co-workers in the city (Tulsa in this case). They seldom will take off to attend even aunts and uncles funerals espically if it requires missing a whole day of work. Funerals they do attend it's generally go to the service and then get back to your life. And they don't go to that many funerals. When cousin John dies all they may do is send flowers. I guess my point is they don't really deal with death all that much. Even when grandma dies, grandma was someone they loved, for sure, but she was someone they probably only saw once or twice a year and she wasn't really a big part of their life. What I'm saying is maybe I'm just more used to death, for me it's not the ultimate tragedy. For people who death is a rare incounter maybe it's much more taxing and much harder to deal with. I've dealt with the death of loved ones that are near and dear since I was a little kid. It's just something that I've grown ucustom to.I think maybe that explains it for me and my seeming cold attitude towards death. However, I don't think it explains the roadside memorial phenominon or, God help us, the window stickers because it's rual communities that I see those the most.
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I honestly have no problem with planting flowers but it does seem odd to me. I don't get why people mark the place of someones death. When cousin dies in the hospital we don't go put flowers on door of the room he died in. When dad gases himself trying to cook hamburgers in the garage cause it's raining out we don't turn the garage into a memorial.I just don't get what make the roadside different.
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In High School a schoolmate who was a year ahead of me was killed in a car accident. He was taking a turn a bit too fast and he ended up ramping and under pass and flipped his car. He would have lived but he wasn’t wearing his seatbelt and he had his sunroof open and half his body went out the sunroof and the car fell on top of him basically smashing half his body from the waist up under the car. I remember the accident so vividly because the underpass he ramped was right up the street from my house, an area I passed everyday in my car while driving to school and going to work. Shortly after the funeral his family place a plaque, basically another gravestone, at the place he died. Some reason I always thought that was very sweet.Shortly after the plaque was placed his family came to the school for an assembly to talk about the plaque. They placed the plaque as a reminder to all the other drivers to slow down and be cautious. People always took that turn too fast and there had been several minor accidents at the same spot, but he was the first and only person to die there. I admit I used to take the turn rather fast, until after his death. The plaque always reminded me to slow down and not be in such a hurry.So it does make me wonder if people don’t place these memorials as a way to remind people to take it slow and not to be in such a rush.
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As to the reminder of death on a certain stretch of road, on in particular stands out to me.The town would put up a white wooden cross every time someone died on the road. It was loaded with them. There were no names, no words to distract, just lots of crosses. This was the only time I am not bothered by the roadside memorial thing. Although, I think that the stretch of road could have been made more safe, so on that note, it still bothered me.As for the memorializing someone, I don't understand the "where they died" thing either. I think IF I were to want to do that, I would do it in a place that was special during their life. And in fact we will be. Bonfire, picnic and a day of fun, remembering someone in a place they loved to be with us. Nothing left behind though...except the ashes from the fire.
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Originally Posted By: StrapingYoungLad Originally Posted By: sdp You surely left some sort of memorial to the dead in your family? In a graveyard, yes. He's complain about roadside memorials. Yes I get that; my point is that its not so different a thing as a roadside memorial. How many people do you know who are buried by the roadside.A graveyard is exceedingly different. That's the final resting place.
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Originally Posted By: PepsiChaserAs for the memorializing someone, I don't understand the "where they died" thing either. I think IF I were to want to do that, I would do it in a place that was special during their life. And in fact we will be. Bonfire, picnic and a day of fun, remembering someone in a place they loved to be with us. Nothing left behind though...except the ashes from the fire. See that makes sense to me, a celebration of that persons life rather than a remembrance of their death. I mean I still go take care of grave if needed. Yeah know, cut back weeds and the like and put shit loads of flowers out memorial day and few around the holidays but To me it seems that focusing on the good times that life brought to this world is so much more of a positive.Just my opinion.
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I have a mental immage...Drunk driver ploughs into a kid on a bike and squishes him into the tree in my front yard. Both are deadnow, for fucking ever, my big old tree is a memorial to both and if I go rip the shit down off my property, the neighbours would think me callous.either that or I could sell the teddy bears left on one side of the tree and drink the bottles of scotch left on the other side.Or, as Pepsi suggests, a highway like the 401 between London and Windsor could be lined with a picket fence of crosses. That would be nice.
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You know what kind of memorial I don't get?Memorial tattoos...what's the deal with them?I guess it's more of a personal way to grieve than a public spectacle, like you described (I don't fully get those either myself). But I don't understand why would anyone want to permanently tattoo a family member or loved ones' name or even their face on their bodies.It's not like they are ever going to forget the person, but why do it? Why be reminded everyday, until you die, how this person is no longer alive? If you want to honor a person's memory, I'm sure there can be better ways rather than making yourself look like a walking bilboard of sorrow.I guess they're okay, I don't have a real problem with them...but...I just don't know.
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i know what you mean about memorial tattoos. im getting one. BUT its not a face, or words. its a heart with a rose going through it. so its not really the same.
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May I ask who's it for Ash?
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yeah..
Its for my poppy. him and i shared the same birthday. and a week after my 18th birthday, he died of a heart attack. he died the night of my other grandmothers funeral. and the tattoo is also for my other nanny when she passes.
they both love yellow roses, and when i was at his funeral, i was given a yellow rose from his casket. I still have it in my room.
im also getting a paw print on my right wrist. thats a memorial one too. but they're not obvious, you know? so its not as bad as getting a photo or a scripture or whatever.
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The yellow rose idea is lovely. :smile:
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yeah =) i mean, i know ill never forget him, but i guess seeing it imprinted on my skin, helps me in a way. i guess thats why those people who leave memorials around do it too.
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Quote:but i guess seeing it imprinted on my skin, helps me in a way. That makes a bit more sense. Thanks for sharing.
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yeah, it kinda makes you feel closer to them. its kind of hard to explain. and you're welcome.
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Quote:Memorial tattoos...what's the deal with them? Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORDsometimes, that passage is used to describe all tattos as sinful
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For me the white crosses along the side of the road are less of a mermorial and more of a warning for other road uses. The message I get from them is to be carful on the road because this was a person, they had family and friends and were loved and they died because of a car crash on this road, so go with care.
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New edition of Grinds My Gears.It pisses me off when I see guys on motorcycles wave at each other on the road. Ya know that down low, slide their hand off the handle bar, down to the side wave. It's fucking stupid and society doesn't need any more stupid shit added to it.Listen, you fuckin' people don't know each other, will more than likely never see each other again and for that matter if you two bump into each other at T.G.I.F's you aren't even go recognize each other. So why fuckin' wave? And, don't give me this shit of camaraderie of all bikers. The guy on the Suzuki or, god forbid, the Vespa isn't your fuckin' gang brother. He's just some dick ridin' a bike, either because he thinks he savin' big time on gas or because he's middle-aged, over weight and desperately trying to cling to the fast fading embers of his lost youth.You fucker's don't need to wave at each other. It's a fucking moronic social etiquette thing some dumb asses picked up to feel like they belong to some dipshit special group. Well, fuck them. Unless your a Mongol or Hells Angle you don't belong to shit. It's bullshit, it stupid and makes no fuckin' since. Don't do it. Especially if your dumb ass is ridin' a fuckin' Vespa."And that's what really grinds my gears."Somebody has to point this shit out.