I think this discussion had better be taken to PM.
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Guys Kissing
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"I don't have any statistics on human need for contact, but look at the scenes they've shown of Russian orphanages. Children fail to grow and flourish when deprived of human touch. They're given basic sustenance, but no contact."I think that has more to do with lack of human connection, a deprivation of emotional worth, than with physical touch.As for defining touch, for my part, I'm talking about something as overt as a hug or anything that has an air of physical or emotional intimacy about it.My aversion to touch is not a matter of fear, or even dislike of other human beings. It's a matter of preference and simply a lack of need for person to person contact. To me, that kind of contact serves no purpose other than to heighten the emotion of a given situation. Other than sex, I generally don't like my emotional sensations to be heightened. To me a heightened, or god for bid a hyper-emotional state does nothing to improve the situation or move it along. To me it serves only as an unwarranted distraction.For instance, when my mom went into surgery and had only a five percent chance of coming out of it alive, I didn't need the added pressure of dealing with anyone trying to comfort me. When someone came up, god help 'em crying, to hug me and say it'll be okay, when I knew better, I had to take time to stop dealing with my own feeling, whizzing by in my head, and deal with responding to them. I didn't want to deal with them in the first place. It makes me uncomfortable to have to try and comfort all but those I'm closest too, even then it's not comfortable, and it's doubly uncomfortable to be uncomfortable and have to respond to someone trying to comfort me in such situations.None of that means that I never need help or support. It just means when I do I'll reach out for it. This is where it gets pissy, I figure if someone doesn't want to offer the help, be it a hug, a shoulder to cry on, when I'm ready to accept it than their offer wasn't sincere anyway and I have no patients for those kind of people.I just don't feel it should be put opon the person who is already stressed to be forced to accept support on the terms of the one giving the support. To me, it should be the other way around.
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I understand. Thanks for your honesty