Bait And Switch?

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Listen I know what I said is very harsh but you have to realize my frustration. I hoped to go further with the hot girl and she just basically tries to push her friend on me. She also gave her the idea I was interested by telling her I wanted her to call me (I didn't) and then I have no choice but to hurt the girls feelings because I don't want to go out with her due to her looks. I didn't even call her back, this isn't my fault she should have never went and told her to call me.

All I'm asking for is a girl at least equal to me in attractiveness, it's not fair for me to have to date a girl less attractive than a female counterpart of me.

Ever thought that maybe all the "hot" girls think the same about you?Maybe they're saying "I don't wanna get with him because he's not as hot as I am".Being confident is one thing, but you have to be confident in the right areas, and thinking you're so attractive that it gives you the right to be a complete dickhole to "less attractive" people than you is NOT the right sort of confidence.Something to think about.

Hmm interesting thread, I saw it on the ''Active Topics past 24 hours'' and thought I'd throw in my tuppence (thats two pence). I am only basing my reply on this last page!Mental exercise: you are behind a curtain, on the other side is a girl, you can't see her face. You guys start chatting, she seems really nice. You really like her. The curtain is pulled back - she is slightly overweight. What will you do? Scream and run away? That's silly. People come in a variety of shapes and sizes: some are short, some are tall, some are big, some are little..ok you know how it goes. Accept this. As for the girl. I am speaking from my heart and truly mean no offence at all when I say that she seems like quite the mean little lady! Why would you want to get invoved with her anyway? I think you should have given her friend a chance..you never know! Good luck in your future dating endevours! But remember, external beauty does not always last, whereas inner beauty is eternal.''Time is a great healer, but a poor beautician.''-Lucille S. Harpersmiles

Ok, so I got curious and started reading from the beginning..You seem to have fatsophobia. (Yes I googled this to find out the name!) Before the twentieth century, fatness was a feature of great admiration, especially in women. It was the general belief that women who were fat were prosperous and belonged to the upper strata of the society. How times have changed!''I'm not arrogant I just know I'm good-looking, very educated, articulate, have some wealth, I'm professional and responsible so why the fuck do only "big girls" go for me?''You wonder why?''I'm just depressed with life now and feel no hope.''There's no need to be a drama king. (I take it you, sir, are a male? I have made gender mistakes here before and do not wish to do so again!). Hook-ups - shmook-ups.Your response really put me down (who wants to see the sun behind a cloud?). “Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration”-Niccolo Machiavelli still smiles

Okay well here's an update:So the girl calls me occasionally at night, she seems to call more often when she's drunk, upset, or both. She called me last Fri. to go out at midnight but I was sick and already knocked out off NyQuil so I couldn't even though I wanted to, she called me 6 hrs. later all emotional at around 4AM waking me up but since I want her I stayed on and listened, then my call got dropped and that was it, never heard anything back until she texted me today. I always ask if she wants to get together but she always says she can't or is busy that day. What the fuck kind of game is she playing now? Why is she calling me at 1, 2, 3 O'clock or later in the morning? Why does she call me, I never call her because I don't want to seem desperate plus I never call people "just to chat", I use the telephone only to plan things or do business. Why doesn't she want to do anything ever but always wants to talk?

Maybe she's trying to figure out if you're emotionally available - but the impression she's getting is that you're not at all.Not all girls just want a physical relationship. So she's calling you when she's feeling emotionally vulnerable hoping that you might be able to offer her some support - but all you do is shrug her off and try and meet her.So think to yourself how you would feel if you were her..."This guy who I wanna get to know keeps shrugging me off and just wants to see me, but I don't wanna see him until I know that he doesn't just wanna get in my pants"Unfortunately for you, you're not the right person to be talking to her, because you obviously don't like it. So I'm telling you now that she's not the right one for you. Move on.

I am interested and not just looking to bang her.

I just am not a psychologist so I cannot provide counseling if that's what she wants.

For example, I listen to her story of an ex stalking her but there's really nothing I can say besides "call the police".

You can comfort her. You could offer your own personal support. That's what she's looking for. Instead of "Hm. Call the cops" you could say "That sounds awful. I'm really sorry to hear of your problems but I am here for you. If you ever feel unsafe or worried just let me know and I will come and protect you."Not only does that show that you care, but it also shows that you are willing to stick up for her.Of course, don't say any of the above if you don't mean it, because lying isn't the way to do it. But maybe you could give some thought into perhaps showing slightly more emotion towards her.

Okay fuck so she just calls me drunk again, we chat for a minute about some party she is having and then fat friend wants to talk to me, I talk to her awkwardly for 5 minutes pretty much just staying silent or saying "uh-huh" or acting very uninterested... What then hell is this? I dunno I'm tripping on mushrooms tonight so everything seems weird

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It's a scam because she used herself as bait to lead me to the less attractive girl who I ordinarily would never talk to or associate myself with so I was put in a situation where I was pretty much forced to interact with her. If this was the case, I dunno.

Ever think that the hot friend saw you and was disgusted like you are with the fat girl? You don`t seem like a prize yourself!

[quote]Besides fat girls usually are paranoid and bitchy. [/quotehmm.. im fat.. ive also been told im beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, irresistable, FRIENDLY, sweet, caring, amazing.. I even had a guy make up "the 7 days of steph" all starting with a word describing how beautiful I am.The majority of the girls im closest with.. are bigger.. my size or bigger... we go out and get ALOT of attention.

Quote:I hoped to go further with the hot girl and she just basically tries to push her friend on me. she probably thought you were ugly.

You've completely lost yourself, it's sad. You need to reel yourself back in now before you create any more damage.Until you start thinking ahead you'll never see past the girls' outer appearance. And if you said out loud what you're saying here, you'd pretty much get hunted down.I'm guessing with your flash car, your rolex, your wealth, you would think you can get any girl you want. Wow. Someone's living in a movie aren't they? You're a PERSON. A HUMAN BEING. You're not a good looking shell. You can think you're as hot as you like, but at the moment you're dark inside, and that's more important.This girl you want, just because she's hot and she might now it, doesn't mean she wants to jump into anything. She might genuinely see you as a friend. Or, from what you say here, she might have met you and thought you were rude? Depends what sort of girl she is. If she's exactly like you then, like others have said, she might be shallow enough to think you're not good enough.I'm not saying you HAVE to like the bigger girl. No one could do that. But who are you judge? There's a beating heart in that girl. If you're not interested, do something about it, but don't be all "yeah, you're too big." if you can't see past it, that's your issue, and if you don't develop emotionally from the situation, then that's your choice.You could be Brad Pitt for all I know, but I wouldn't want you with your attitude. You could be such an amazing person behind all of this, it's sad that it can't be seen.

I wasn't never rude or mean I just act uncomfortable around the fat girl because I know she wants me to bang her which I will never do.

Is there any way you can stop thinking about these ladies you meet as romantic interests and think, on the other hand, of them as just women. Get to know them as people, don't look at exteriors and throw any notions of getting together (in a romantic way) out of the window (don't assume they want to ''bang you'' (remember, when you assume something, you make an ''ass of you and me'', in your case, of yourself and the girl in question!)). Get to know these women that you reject on a physical basis for, as cheesy as it may seem, what they are, what they do, what they aspire to. Get to know them inside, and as much as it may repulse you, try to see beyond the few outside traits - be a tiny bit less superficial. And smile...''I have a friend who is a rock collector. I probably wouldn't make a very good rock collector, because if I saw a rock laying on the ground that looks like this one, (show the exterior) I probably would not even bother to stop and pick it up. But my friend knows that you can't judge a rock by what it looks like on the outside. A rock that looks like this on the outside may be beautiful on the inside. (show the interior) So my friend picks up the rocks and looks on the inside and polishes them into something beautiful.''smiles

Quote:''I have a friend who is a rock collector. I probably wouldn't make a very good rock collector, because if I saw a rock laying on the ground that looks like this one, (show the exterior) I probably would not even bother to stop and pick it up. But my friend knows that you can't judge a rock by what it looks like on the outside. A rock that looks like this on the outside may be beautiful on the inside. (show the interior) So my friend picks up the rocks and looks on the inside and polishes them into something beautiful.''So what you're saying is to date a fat girl, then get her lots of liposuction and plastic surgery so she turns hot?

I'm not that judgmental, I don't expect a stick-thin girl but I also will not take a Michelin tire girl.

Hardly. That was just an example that beauty is on the inside as well as out, and that it sometimes, though not always, takes effort and work to get to know someone that well. This quote is obviously not a personal story which I decided to share with you for some obscure reason, but something I found, that someone else wrote, which I thought may help you reflect on your future actions. There is no need at all to be fecitious about it, I am only trying to give you my perspective on things.

Is that okay?

*smiles*

Whatever I understand that they're people too but that doesn't require me to date one. I have standards and I know I deserve better. There are plenty of fat loser guys for them to hook up with, I think I should be with a girl who proportional to me. I know looks are not everything but play a major role when I am attracted to a girl.