Hi everyone, I'm new to the A2A an old friend used to tell m about it so i googled it and joined because I have a question! I'm 23, in good shape, never went to college but am very successful. In the past I have been with men and women. I had a lot of issues with "getting it up" and was extremely embarrassed. When I was in H.S. it even got around that I was gay(at the time I had never been with a guy)... so embarrassing I switched schools, but that's a different story. I seem to be interested in women romantically but seeing a woman naked doesn't do anything for me. I masturbate frequently these days, mostly as a stress reliever :P ( I don't drink or do drugs of any kind other than aspirin once or twice a week. Now, when it comes to guys it's just body envy(I'm 265 only muscles in my arms). I tried to so hard to like anal sex but it wasn't for me even after I relaxed it wasn't comfortable. I always thought there was something wrong with me but a friend says I'm just asexual and that it isn't unheard of. But isn't it weird I still have sexual desire(only when i masturbate?) I'm just so confused by it all and the last relationship I had ended because Oral sex for her wasn't enough, and the feeling I get from it was mostly that I like pleasing her but I never got "turned on" by pleasing her. It's been almost 3 years since then and it's starting to become this sad lonely lifestyle I have. Work all week, every night go home eat while watching TV, masturbate then go to sleep. Weekends aren't much better, I don't go out with my friends anymore because they're all trying to get laid, and when I do go out it's just me sitting sad at the bar turning women away(I'm not saying dozens of women want me but I get 3 or 4 women a night talking to me). Blargh! I just don't know what to do or if I'm doing something wrong. Any thoughts?
Asexual I don't get myself
Asexuality is certainly a possibility but given you apparently masturbate a lot I tend to wonder if this isn't something else. I base this on nothing but my own reason, so don't take it to heart.I know, you said, you only have (or had) a sexual attraction for men and no romantic interest , but do you think there's a possibility that your just classifying your feeling as that to avoid dealing with the whole gay thing? It's just a thought. Sometimes men will relegate their attraction to guys to a simple one dimensional sexual aspect so it's easier to deal with. That's to say that a simple sexual desire is more acceptable to them and as long as they don't think about the romantic side of their desires it's not as threatening. I only mention this because you say the sexual aspect of a women does nothing for you.Beyond this many times people get the "American dream" scenario mixed up with their romantic feelings. They want the family with the 2.3 kids the house with the white picket fence and an SUV in the driveway and since their brought up to think this requires a man and a woman they don't consider that it's a possibility with someone of the same sex. In fact, they think that dream is not possible with the same sex, so the romanticize their desires for the dream into unreal feelings for someone of the opposite sex they think can fulfill what they want. The romantic feeling aren't for the person, they're for the dream they think that person represents.This may not be you but you might think about it. As for anal sex, don't be fooled, it's not prerequisite for gay sex. There are gay men who don't care to engage in it and stick to mutual masturbation and oral sex. It's a matter of finding someone your sexually compatible with.Another possibility that springs to mind is that maybe you feel intercourse is to much pressure and so have an aversion to it. For some men the weight of making sure they can bring their woman to orgasm is to much and they would rather avoid it then feel that burden. Ask yourself, when you have engage in intercourse with a woman how did you feel? Where your feelings of putting on a grand performance so great that you didn't enjoy the act itself? What specifically, to you, is off-putting about vaginal intercourse? Think about it don't just answer.